Marriage & Divorce

How our ex ante calibration tainted by secular morality and modern sensibilities can influence how we interpret the Qur’an regardless of its perceived neutrality. Many truth seekers within the Qur’an-alone community are not immune to blind spots, where their calibration can be geared toward optimizing for social consensus, conformity with modernity, or some other target that prioritizes a certain convenient criterion over truth. This article reveals these blind spots and shows with the help of a case study how instead of letting the Qur'an deliver its own verdict through its own morphology, syntax and grammar, reformists rely on assumed conclusions that are already baked in the premise thus breaking all language rules to reinterpret the Qur'an to appeal to popular contemporary narratives. YT channel https://www.youtube.com/@ArchitectureOfTruth Part I https://forthefew1.substack.com/p/the-calibration-problem-the-misuse Part II https://forthefew1.substack.com/p/the-calibration-problem-the-misuse-6f1 Part III https://forthefew1.substack.com/p/the-calibration-problem-the-misuse-b3b

*DivorceeS

Peace all. Often if I like a discussion, I feel I need to thank those who took part and contributed for the benefit and research of the topic. Thank you all for your effort. I would like to add, if I may, an important point to dedicate this useful thread to the people who love Qoran- i.e love GOD the most- so that they work harder on the subject "Marriage" to avoid getting to the subject "custody". When one follows Qoran, one needs GOD s help to persevere to follow the best path indicated and instructed by GOD to us in Qoran. Working on the marriage is a challenge and the last resort is to break the marriage.So many other steps in Qoran to work at marriage,so one should never come to this last resort. However I know there are always exceptions, hence GOD completes His instructions for us. Security and welfare of the child first plus security and welfare of the mother and father. Fairness and justice I find to be the Qoran s theme. Thank you again for your contributions. GOD bless you all. Peace

Thank you all for your contributions. I sincerely appreciate the efforts of "NewFreeMind" (the original author) and his wife in utilizing the Quran as their sole guide and generating arguments based on it. (As stated in 4344, we will be questioned about it) (the first post) The reason why she brought it up was to tell me how in Islam the man has the duty of providing financially as well as looking after the family and the women doesn't have to do anything unless the man is absent, in which case she looks after the family. In my humble opinion, the bold part is incorrect, and I believe this is the main point you are questioning. If I understand correctly, you are looking for evidence from the Quran that clearly states women have responsibilities within the family, just like men. I have just looked at the comprehensive analysis of Wakas on this page http//www.quran434.com/wife-beating-islam.html#part2 Please look at the paragraph starting with "dutiful/devout" (Arabic qanit, root Qaf-Nun-Ta), is used in The Quran to mean..." According to verse 434, women are expected to be "obedient" to God. This role has been assigned by Allah to all wives, and interestingly, its meaning is linked to obeying every single verse of the Quran. Therefore, the claim that "women do not have to do anything" is rather naive in this regard. One of those responsibilities is highlighted in the same Chapter of Nisa, verse 135 O you who acknowledge, stand with justice as witnesses to God, even if it is against yourselves, or the parents or the relatives... So in your case, this verse could be a guide for your wife. She should come up with an argument about how fair her task and responsibility division proposal is. She should be ready to defend that on the Judgement Day. That argument would be something like this 'I may not be contributing financially, but I handle the housework and take care of the kids, which is equivalent to the financial value of my husband's contributions. If I didn't exist, my husband would have to pay for these services, and they would come at a cost equivalent to... If the contributions are not equal, perhaps you should consider compensating her for the difference (in my opinion, women should have separate budgets from the family and should do infaq from that budget), or alternatively, she could compensate you. And, in any case, if you have concerns regarding her sensitivity in adhering to the guidance of the Quran, there are verses that address these matters and provide further guidance. As an example the Quran can speak through 64/14 in certain scenarios, as well as through the verses related to talaq(chapter 65) in others. This depends on the nature of your personal relationship with the Quran. I understand that these opinions can be quite general and may not apply to your specific circumstances. That's exactly why the Guidance provided by Him is incredibly valuable. I think the Guidance works like this you submit and listen what It says to YOU considering YOUR specific needs then you hear(you realize some verses or somethings happen in your life...) and you say 24/51. If your understanding is not very well aligned to what He says, He provides feedback so no need to worry as long as you are there to hear it (ex. in front of the Book at night) as He does this. I genuinely appreciate your desire to comprehend and adhere to the Guide.

Is a quranist allowed to marry a sunni muslim? Yes any human allowed to marry another human, regardless of how they label/identify themselves based on whatever. Evidence DNA compatibility And do you think marriage between them can work? Marriage will not work when the human entering the marriage contract doesn't have mutual love and respect to each others. This usually involves the ego that they have, people where each have strong identification to ego and strong need of the recognition that "I" am superior to others, including his/her partner (ie I am right and you're wrong, I am correct and you're incorrect, I win and you lose, I am the victim and you're the perpetrator, I am good and you're evil etc..) will have a hard time to maintain any type of relationship. And that include marriage relationship, friendship relationship or business relationship. So if you have a strong identification to your ego, better fix that first. Once you done that, make sure that you find a suitable partner who doesn't have a strong identification to his/her ego. And then you enter into a relationship with him/her, any type of relationship. Then that relationship will surely work.

You might find this article useful https//mypercept.co.uk/articles/Quran-crime-punishment-expiation.html Crime, punishment and expiation in The Quran The following verses list specified punishments and expiations in this world. They are presented without analysis. Please note there are many more verses discussing ethics, and negative consequences of certain actions, but no specified punishment/expiation given, hence not included below.

It doesn't say not marry two sisters it says tajm3ow two sisters. Polygamy is absolutely permitted.

Peace ...cheat on you or be dishonest about their orientation? I hear all these stories about...well narcissists in particular who present as straight but are secretly gay, bi or fluid. They'll do all sorts of things behind their partner's back with other people. I know your average person is able to do these things too but they'll feel guilty about being dishonest to their partner. But obviously the more empathy a person has, the less likely they'll betray their partner like that. So if you're with a devout Qur'an alone believer who really does want to live their life according to God's laws, the above is less likely to happen? Even if they were to get sinful types of lust, they'll know these are whispers of shaytan and won't identify with them. Well... God is observer on eceryone... Quran alone means he or she has neared towards getting right guidance and it doesn't mean he or she is guided aright.. They have left all paths that are wrong and approached the right choice... Now it is up to them to live accordingly... So while living as a human being they need to apply control... Satan is capable of diverting anyone who listen him... Prophet Mohamed and his companions were quran alone but God advised pointed out their various mistakes.. So as people we should have patience and control... Suppose if you were poor at some point of time in life and if you say if I have money or if Iam rich I would do this and that or help poor etc etc.. But suppose if you become rich, would you behave as you dreamt while you were poor... Same for true believers.. God has shown the path and untied them from shackle of all ignorance buy they have to practice.... Life is not easy... God says so many things Do not Do not.. Buy still even a believe may do with situations.. Even prophet did... Believer should have control and not approach big sins...

I don't see any issue with being civil/friendly towards a work colleague, be they male or female. I do not recall anything in Quran forbidding such, or negativity towards such interaction. Some background https//misconceptions-about-islam.com/misconception.php?id=8

Found solution, limit time spent on comp and hide his phone to help with his ocd. He doesn't mind )

Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, I think you got good advice from other forum members. Many muslim men and muslim women find it hard to navigate the modern dating world. But the advice I'm about to share might be empowering and helpful. Allow me to share a quote from a past post in this forum with you. Peace, My advice to single brothers and sister on free-minds is to stop looking for a wife or a husband. My counsel to you is to do these things instead Focus on your purpose instead (e.g. spread the message and do good deeds). Additionally, focus on your work/career. If you want the opposite sex to be interested in you, you can attract a compatible partner by giving, growing and accomplishing something. You need to have something to bring to the table. Put your trust in the most high in relation to finding or being guided to a compatible spouse. You will most likely find or be guided to a compatible spouse at the right time.Things take time. Be patient. Dating is not necessary in order to get married. If you like someone, you only need to be friends before getting married. You can be friends and propose to someone without having had any romantic/physical relationship at all. If you like someone, and logically and intuitvely (i.e. it feels right) can tell that someone is suitable for you, then that person is probably suitable for you. If it is against your logic/reason and it does not feel right to take the next step with regards to getting to know someone as more than a friend, then it is probably wrong to get to know that person as more than a friend. Last but not least, use the Quran as a criterion and a guide regarding to find out whether someone is suitable for (compatible with) you or not.

Peace Sarah, Is it better to date/ marry a person who is a Qur'an only Muslim or an open-minded Sunni Muslim who may have personality issues such as being unfaithful, anger issues etc. rather than a Christian who worships Jesus but happens to be faithful, kind, respectful? Could you explain what you mean by date? Does your notion of dating entail a physical/romantic relationship before getting married to someone? If someone is unfaithful or have anger issues, it seems to me that they do not really follow Quran alone or traditional islam. Furthermore, being unfaitful might be an act of idolworship/polytheism (please check verse 2543). My common sense tells me the more peaceful person who happens to be the Christian in this scenario. But what do you think God would want? Neither or the Christian? In my humble opinion, none of those options are optimum. But if there are no other options available, the most favourable option seems to be the Christian. Nevertheless, for someone who follows Quran alone, marrying someone who follows Quran alone seems to be the most favourable option. The success of a marriage seems to depend on partners sharing similar beliefs and values. Furthermore, it seems that the more similar spouses are to each other in terms of beliefs and values, the more satisfying the marriage and they increase their chances of collaborating with each other for a common purpose. And as stated in other posts, there is a difference between an idolator and the people of the book. Jesus worshipping Christians are people of the book, not mushriks. Two separate categories. Correct me if I'm wrong. Can you share a link to one of the others posts that you are referring to?

Peace jkhan, and fellow members I am grateful for your thoughtful reply. I concur with you. The Quran indicates that brothers who follow the Quran only have two options They can marry monotheists who follow the quran. They can marry monotheists who follow other scriptures/revelations. We can find or be guided to them in the places we live or online (e.g. on this forum). There are many suitable mates/partners for our brothers and sisters both online and in the places they live. According to the story of Moses, he found or was guided to his wife while he was serving the creator by being a good doer (please check 2825-2. In my humble opinion, it is not enough to call oneself a muslim or a christian. Someones thoughts and actions reveal who they are and what they believe in. A mason is not a mason, unless he posess the right theory and practice (i.e. is skilled at making things or building things with stones). His knowledge and practical skills reveals whether he is a mason or not. Likewise, someones thoughts and actions reveal whether they follow the Quran or not. Also, someones thoughts and actions reveal whether they follow other scriptures/revelations or not. Do they have strong faith in the creator? Do they have real knowledge about their scripture? Do they obey the commandments/laws in their scripture? Do they put the teachings of their scripture into practice? Do they do good deeds and abstain from doing bad deeds? What do they do in their leisure time? Do they study their scripture? Do they spread its message? How do they spend their money? What company do they keep? Do they party while drinking lots of alcohol or doing other things which goes against their scripture? Or do they have firm principles and do not give in to social/cultural pressure in order to fit in or gain acceptance? Reflecting on these questions can help one to make the right choice when it comes to choosing whether one wants to get to know someone as more than a friend or not. As previously mentioend, someones thoughts and actions reveal who they are and what they believe in. "A tree is known by its fruit." - Zulu proverb. I am the one who best suits according to Quran practically in the current day world. Lol. I am joking with you all. P Regarding who best suits according to Quran practically, please see relevant quranic verses about this topic. I don't think it's simple. But I think it's possible. Case in point I and my wife have similar beliefs, and we found eachother. If we were able to find eachother, then others can as well. thank you.. peace.. i accept your advice and recommendations... but where is time to mingle with people and to know whether they are believers or not.. in Musa's case it was a gift from Allah...unexpected... So i also believe in unexpected meetings.. but we need to be patient until it happens.. as a believer we need patience..

It is one thing to tolerate homosexuality in a free society, it's another to put the state's stamp of approval on it.

You knew this before you married her. Maybe ask yourself, why does it bother you? And what is a muslim home? and how can you contribute to making that idea happen.

Salam ade cool, We can have different understandings from different translations, that is a problem. Salam Fadiva, I agree with you that different translations can lead to different understandings. That is why I started by pointing out problems with existing translation, i.e. "And do not compel your slave girls to prostitution, if they desire chastity, to seek the temporary interests of worldly life" does not make sense to me. Wassalam

First decide who is a muslim and who is not, not all who comes into a religion/cult cannot automatically become a muslim. As a muslim, who will be at peace with his partner,caring, accept their partner' strengths, weaknesses and leave a lot to God ordained, they have faith in God try to solve things in a peaceful way, giving things its own time.

I dont know. Although my family is a sunni, they were never the one to keep up with sectarian practice. My father hasn't prayed in 20 years except for ramadan. My mom is the only one in on our household who was able to continue salat without missing it. Now she is suffering from so many illness that it's hard for her to keep up with it. I think my father can be considered a submitter if we take his misogynist ideas out of the equations. He has never been the one to follow those stupid hadiths ( except for sexist ones of course ) he believes that we can only be gain the highest level of jannah by being righteous and just. He doesn't believe that muslims are superior than jews and Christian. His focuses more on correcting your character than praying 5 times a day and believes kindness and righteous is the only way to jannah. I just wish he wasn't a misogynist. He believes that women are given the role to serve their husbands only, women literally have to take permission from their husbands to breathe... Blah blah blah. Although he doesn't practice it on mom and me, he thinks nowadays relationships are not surviving Because women are trying to swap their roles. He is a typical conservative who is more influenced by our outdated culture than the hadiths. So my dad claims to be sunni, is a hadithmonger ( to some extent ) and still he is doing pretty good as a husband. Would I marry a hadithmonger ? It depends really. Not all hadithers are conservative. Many hardly follow the hadiths. I would be fine marrying someone like my dad ( minus the misogynist thinking or else it's a big no )

You also need to ask about the following The difficulties premarital sex can cause. The guilt people carry because the instinct knew it was wrong. The condoms that failed to solve the problems of premarital sex. etc... . Find a soul mate and commit to the natural way of loyalty and trust between you and your mate for life. Then just honor your contract. If you ask me, Qoran aside, when you are learning about life do not learn premarital sex or post marital sex and life will have less problems for you. But your choice. GOD bless. Peace.

Salam/Peace, I agree with looking for a compatible mate, but faith is subject to change in people (that is why we are taught by the examples of the prophets that they pray to die as Submitters). Noah and Lot's wives were polytheists/evil. Pharaoh's wife was a believer. We can try to screen who we will spend our lives with, but best not to over analyze. salaam, I think these examples are not for new marriages, but for existing marital relationships in which couples became different in their understanding of faith after marriage. (e.g. At the time of marriage both were believers but after, one left faith / vice versa). Qur'an always advise to marry a believer (2221, 425, 2432 etc.)