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  4. Wife Beating is a Therapy

Wife Beating is a Therapy

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  • F Offline
    F Offline
    farida
    wrote on last edited by
    #39

    No if she sleep with another man before the waiting period passes, this is Zina and deserves punishment. Plus the man should care for her all that period.

    So she can complete her waiting period and be more free than a wife? tempt

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    • R Offline
      R Offline
      Rami
      wrote on last edited by
      #40

      So she can complete her waiting period and be more free than a wife? tempt

      Once the waiting period is over, she can go and marry anyone. Marriage without intercourse requires no waiting period to break, so Zina is adultery on the woman's side only (polygamy is permitted).

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      • F Offline
        F Offline
        farida
        wrote on last edited by
        #41

        Once the waiting period is over, she can go and marry anyone. Marriage without intercourse requires no waiting period to break, so Zina is adultery on the woman's side only (polygamy is permitted).

        Why should a woman enter into marriage only to be beaten up since she is for rent? Why not take the easy way out of all the hassle and obligations to obey?
        Btw., since you are answering my posts, maybe it would be helpful if you could take a look at my reply N0 31.

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        • R Offline
          R Offline
          Rami
          wrote on last edited by
          #42

          Why should a woman enter into marriage only to be beaten up since she is for rent? Why not take the easy way out of all the hassle and obligations to obey?
          Btw., since you are answering my posts, maybe it would be helpful if you could take a look at my reply N0 31.

          She doesn't have to marry if she refuses to. And why da heck will she undergo 'nushuz' and insist on it. Regarding reply 31, the man in your example didn't take the steps before he spanked her.(reminds me of the viscious guy in my avatar)

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          • F Offline
            F Offline
            farida
            wrote on last edited by
            #43

            She doesn't have to marry if she refuses to. And why da heck will she undergo 'nushuz' and insist on it.

            Undergo Nushuz who, the husband or the wife?

            Regarding reply 31, the man in your example didn't take the steps before he spanked her.(reminds me of the viscious guy in my avatar) D

            Nor did the husband in your reply no 28 P, which goes to show that husbands don?t really understand the relevance of 'nushuz' ie fear of temper crossing its limit and important instructions to curb it.
            peace

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            • R Offline
              R Offline
              Rami
              wrote on last edited by
              #44

              Undergo Nushuz who, the husband or the wife?Nor did the husband in your reply no 28 , which goes to show that husbands dont really understand the relevance of 'nushuz' ie fear of temper crossing its limit and important instructions to curb it.
              peace

              Both should respect the marriage. I still cant get this nushuz business. What will a human do in a marriage to be called 'nashez' ? how can you know that nushuz is coming to fear it and act?

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              • F Offline
                F Offline
                farida
                wrote on last edited by
                #45

                Both should respect the marriage. I still cant get this nushuz business. What will a human do in a marriage to be called 'nashez' ? how can you know that nushuz is coming to fear it and act?

                Yes! Both should recognise their respective roles and respect each other as equal partners but different in character.

                Once we understand exact relevance of nashez' only then we would understand this passage of the Qur?an properly..
                peace

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                • R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rami
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #46

                  Yes! Both should recognise their respective roles and respect each other as equal partners but different in character.

                  Once we understand exact relevance of nashez' only then we would understand this passage of the Quran properly..
                  peace

                  Agreed.

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                  • D Offline
                    D Offline
                    drfazl
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #47

                    Peace,

                    Beating wife is force; but then using force is not Islam! And this shall be the essential practice of a muslim in the path of Islam. Therefore meaning to the ayat concerned must be constructive to Islam and Quran. Stop beating Islam; stop beating Quran!

                    Regards,

                    .

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                    • F Offline
                      F Offline
                      farida
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #48

                      Peace,

                      Beating wife is force; but then using force is not Islam! And this shall be the essential practice of a muslim in the path of Islam. Therefore meaning to the ayat concerned must be constructive to Islam and Quran. Stop beating Islam; stop beating Quran!

                      Regards,

                      Salaam,
                      Yes using force is not in line with the character of one who is supposed to be QWAMOON/protector/assurer. They can very well perform this role when they have non-challenging, believing women, but as for those who are provoked in their manhood, to the extent that they are unable to maintain their task as the protector, and fear that they may not be able to obey to God in their duty as qwamoon are reminded about this 'nushuz' and to follow certain procedures that prevent them from using force. This is how I see it; otherwise to give a go-ahead to beat a woman, perhaps the mother of your child, is not in line with other passages where man and woman are given equal rights and respect.
                      Men are told that the wives are as their tilths and many people take this to mean that they are simply for the menial task of passing on man?s seed. This, IMO, is a wrong understanding, as the tilth, the tilled land, is a farmer?s most precious possession that he protects and nurtures , averting any harm to it, as from his tilth grows his livelihood. Similarly, as expected of a qwamoon over nisa, a man should strive to live in love and tranquillity with his most treasured companion, his wife and vice versa.
                      peace

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                      • D Offline
                        D Offline
                        drfazl
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #49

                        Salaam,

                        Men are told that the wives are as their tilths and many people take this to mean that they are simply for the menial task of passing on man?s seed. This, IMO, is a wrong understanding, as the tilth, the tilled land, is a farmer?s most precious possession that he protects and nurtures , averting any harm to it, as from his tilth grows his livelihood. Similarly, as expected of a qwamoon over nisa, a man should strive to live in love and tranquillity with his most treasured companion, his wife and vice versa.
                        peace

                        farida,

                        Any God Blessed true mumin will have the same meaning to the ayat; and one more important thing to be explored in the ayat is that they must go to them in just manner that Allah had admonished. None cares to know what this admonition is. Since with monthly periods Allah purifies a woman, it is mandatory upon the husband to complete certain norms before he nears his purified wife like he is newly wedded. So it is incumbent upon a person to give the dowry before he touches her as had given her for the first time when he got married to her.

                        Peace,

                        .

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                        • R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Rami
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #50

                          Peace,

                          OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

                          Peace.

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                          • F Offline
                            F Offline
                            farida
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #51

                            Peace,

                            OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

                            Peace.

                            Salaam Rami,

                            Violence against the weaker party is a problem in all societies, regardless of religion, education or social background. Many men, consumed with anger regularly abuse their physical advantage over nisa and brutally injure and even kill women. It is a kind of addiction, not a loss of love or a desire to divorce, but just sheer violence. This situation calls for detailed studies and therapy for the parties involved.
                            My understanding is the two, time-consuming hurdles should be given more attention than the beating part, as this would require more than a day to arrive at the third stage. In the meantime both parties are given the chance to reflect on the situation, lessening chance of addiction to control and of course anger would cool down. During this period there is no way that nushuz could be continued, as there is a break in the build up of aggression.
                            If the pattern is again repeated the process only needs to start from the beginning and the beating (third) stage would never arrive, as each action would need new set of process to start from stage one. Like Alf-Leila (thousand and one nights) how Sherezade managed to avert her killing hmm

                            peace

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                            • WakasW Offline
                              WakasW Offline
                              Wakas
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #52

                              Peace,

                              OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

                              Peace.

                              Really?

                              http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=13171.75

                              All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                              • P Offline
                                P Offline
                                Pseudo
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #53

                                OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

                                No Quran would and does say exactly waohjuroohunna to mean ?and abandon them?

                                To understand waidriboohunna ?and ignore/show them? it is necessary to understand idriboohu

                                273

                                Not about beating people with a dead cow?s hoof or tail.

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                                • R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Rami
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #54

                                  Really?

                                  http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=13171.75

                                  Yes Sir.

                                  No Quran would and does say exactly waohjuroohunna to mean and abandon them

                                  To understand waidriboohunna and ignore/show them it is necessary to understand idriboohu

                                  273

                                  Not about beating people with a dead cows hoof or tail.

                                  273 talks about hitting the corpse with parts of the cow.

                                  Peace.

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                                  • D Offline
                                    D Offline
                                    drfazl
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #55

                                    Yes Sir.

                                    273 talks about hitting the corpse with parts of the cow.

                                    Peace.

                                    Do not mix 2 71 with 2 72 and 2 73
                                    2 72 and 73 are entirely different subject and are independent of 2 71

                                    Peace,

                                    .

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                                    • R Offline
                                      R Offline
                                      Rami
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #56

                                      Do not mix 2 71 with 2 72 and 2 73
                                      2 72 and 73 are entirely different subject and are independent of 2 71

                                      Peace,

                                      .

                                      OK. So what is the true meaning of 273??

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                                      • P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Pseudo
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #57

                                        OK. So what is the true meaning of 273??

                                        273
                                        Faqulna idriboohu bibaAAdiha kathalika yuhyee Allahu almawta wayureekum ayatihi laAAallakum taAAqiloona

                                        So We said "give/show/hit with some/part of it." Like that God revives/makes alive the dead and He shows you His signs/verses/examples, maybe you understand/comprehend.

                                        Not about or like the absurd Jewish ritual to sprinkle burnt reddish cow ash-water on those who touched a corpse in order to purify them. To give/show or ?hit you? with another example

                                        4358
                                        Waqaloo aalihatuna khayrun am huwa ma daraboohu laka illa jadalan bal hum qawmun khasimoona

                                        And they said "Are our gods better or He?" They did not give it (the question/objection) to you except arguing, but they are a nation disputing.

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                                        • S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          Samia
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #58

                                          Shall We then turn away the Message from you and repel (you), for that ye are a people transgressing beyond bounds?

                                          (5)

                                          (Taken from Wakas link)

                                          The object here is the "dhikr " . Rephrasing "afa nadhribul thikra 3ankum " Shlall we turn away the dhikr from you. The preposition is not for the thikr (which is turned away) but for "you ". Clearly dharaba here means turn away nadhribul thikra turn the dhikr away; 3ankum from you

                                          ( I did not respond to the original message then because at the time I was in Sudan without internet connection)
                                          Thanks Wakas for bringing up this link.

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