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  3. Parenting & Children
  4. Raising Children

Raising Children

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Parenting & Children
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  • WakasW Offline
    WakasW Offline
    Wakas
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    peace Sarah, all,

    Erm, depends on what you mean by "muslim"?

    Muslim (capital "M&quot is the socio-cultural entity, Traditional Muslim.

    muslim is something else.

    In addition to what I said above, there are verses that say order/instruct your family/people with the salat and the zakat . Which I would render as with the bond and the betterment. To me, it seems to imply a direction in which to aim, as an overview, for one's people/family.

    All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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    • A Offline
      A Offline
      almarh0m
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Peace

      " O you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded " . ( 66.6 ) .

      Peace

      almarh0m

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      • A Offline
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        aly-sam
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        A 2-5 year old child would not understand much but their minds are completely pliable and observe and absorb your actions. At this age, they will follow what you want them to. They will not question much. This is the sweetest age.

        The next 4-5 years they will have lots of questions and you have to keep up with answering them. What they have already absorbed at infancy still is a major guiding factor. Just ensure to talk about your ideals and keep setting the example of what you want them to learn and follow.

        Now observe the same child at 10-12 plus. Not only do they have a mind of their own but want to do the exact opposite of what you want them to do. Its pretty dangerous to force a child of this mindset into religious activities they dont want to. Of course if they are open to following what religious ideals you follow then you must encourage that. But if not, then gently encourage them by setting examples and always being there to try and explain anything. The child will find their own place in life guided by your ideals. What is wrong though is when parents expect the child to think exactly in their own manner. Sometimes this leads to force and instilling fear of punishment etc.

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        • S Offline
          S Offline
          SarahY
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Don?t underestimate children
          My niece who is turning 2 Is very defiant. once her mind is set she wont budge. If she wants something she will demand it. if she don?t get it she will scream till she gets it, if she doesn?t want to do something she will say NO. off course not all children are like that and children are easy to persuade, they?re cute at that age but not always so sweet

          I think children always have lots of questions, my teenage nephews always ask me things it?s hard to keep up its hard to find answers sometimes!

          Yeh its wrong when parents expect their children to be the same as them or.. whatever. parents expectations can be far-fetched sometimes unfair.

          It?s hard though, parents have an expectation, I think the problem is parents feel they ?own? the children..

          Do you have children aly-sam?

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            aynur
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            maybe i'm underestimating children maybe they're not so impressionable though it's interesting that i have never met a traditional muslim who reverted against islam. i'm just trying to understand why because well a lot of people consider themselves muslim purely because of their family/traditional association because that's the way they were raised. they understand islam as the only true monotheist religion because they were taught that it was without needing to think otherwise.

            I believe many traditional Muslims are Muslim simply because they were raised that way. Not that they necessarily research any other religions, or question any of the practices - they just follow blindly.

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              aly-sam
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Don?t underestimate children
              My niece who is turning 2 Is very defiant. once her mind is set she wont budge. If she wants something she will demand it. if she don?t get it she will scream till she gets it, if she doesn?t want to do something she will say NO. off course not all children are like that and children are easy to persuade, they?re cute at that age but not always so sweet

              I think children always have lots of questions, my teenage nephews always ask me things it?s hard to keep up its hard to find answers sometimes!

              Yeh its wrong when parents expect their children to be the same as them or.. whatever. parents expectations can be far-fetched sometimes unfair.

              It?s hard though, parents have an expectation, I think the problem is parents feel they ?own? the children..

              Do you have children aly-sam?

              Oh I know the "power" of children LOL. And yes all about the defiance too even at such a tender age. But it seems to manifest itself mostly when they have tantrums...but the rest of the time, they tend to observe you and are fascinated by the things you do. And want to be exactly like you.

              Yes I do have 2 daughters...my precious monsters

              I remember upto age 8 or so, my eldest was convinced I knew everything about everything. Thing is after that, I could actually see the doubt creeping into her eyes every time I told her something. And now she is convinced that I know absolutely nothing concerning especially teens.

              But to her credit, just two days ago, she told me that I give her good advice. When I asked her how she knew that my advice is good, she said she has faith in me.....Awwww sigh...girls are just sooooo lovely at every age they can show tenderness.

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                SarahY
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                Aww that's sweet

                actually my neice she is turning 8 she always asks me questions and some can be quite tricky. i tell her "i don't know" "we could look it up" and her response is "how come you don't know". i think children seem to automatically think we adults know everything about anything lol.

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                  yfn123
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  Hello.

                  Did you ask her why she has faith in you? It would be interesting to know her thought process.

                  Anwar Azim

                  But to her credit, just two days ago, she told me that I give her good advice. When I asked her how she knew that my advice is good, she said she has faith in me.....Awwww sigh...girls are just sooooo lovely at every age they can show tenderness.

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                    aly-sam
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Hello.

                    Did you ask her why she has faith in you? It would be interesting to know her thought process.

                    Anwar Azim

                    That would actually have been interesting to find out.

                    Unfortunately, I was too busy feeling good about myself to think of asking her the reasons and now the moment has gone...but if it does happen again, I will be sure to find out )

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                    • R Offline
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                      Rev_John
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      I believe many traditional Muslims are Muslim simply because they were raised that way. Not that they necessarily research any other religions, or question any of the practices - they just follow blindly.

                      That is the same in any traditional religion. It is something I have been trying to change for years.

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                      • T Offline
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                        TheJoker
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        2170

                        And if they are told "Follow what God has sent down," they say "No, we will follow what we found our fathers doing!" What if their fathers did not understand anything and were not guided?

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                          SarahY
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          if you continue to read the next verse, it indicates theres are the ones who deny the truth who do not use their reason. If they choose to follow their fathers then they will be the same.

                          (2171)

                          2171 (Asad) And so, the parable of those who re bent on denying the truth is that of the beast which hears the shepherd's cry, and hears in it nothing but the sound of a voice and a call. Deaf are they, and dumb, and blind for they do not use their reason.

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                            Rev_John
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            2171 (Asad) And so, the parable of those who re bent on denying the truth is that of the beast which hears the shepherd's cry, and hears in it nothing but the sound of a voice and a call. Deaf are they, and dumb, and blind for they do not use their reason.

                            I like that. I may well use that in my Sunday service. Thank you.

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                              SarahY
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Np

                              Do you always do Sunday service?

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                                Rev_John
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                Np

                                Do you always do Sunday service?

                                Only on Sundays . Yes every week.

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                                  SarahY
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Cool, so you'd have a community of people with the same belief as you?

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                                    Rev_John
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Cool, so you'd have a community of people with the same belief as you?

                                    Yes, I have a church here, all the members believe the same as me. We class ourselves as God-alone Christians. Christians because we believe in the message God gave to Jesus, God-alone because we do not worship Jesus or anyone other than God. We do not believe that Jesus was God incarnate or the son of God or anything other than a human being.

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                                      SarahY
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      great, so has the church been there for many generations?

                                      i'm going off topic ahh, so do kids come along?

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                                        Rev_John
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        great, so has the church been there for many generations?

                                        i'm going off topic ahh, so do kids come along?

                                        No I am the founder of the Christian Church of Reality. There are other churches that believe (roughly) the same thing, but we are all independent of each other unfortunately. We only have a couple of kids that come, most of my members are 30s and up, I suppose after they start thinking.

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                                          TheJoker
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          if you continue to read the next verse, it indicates theres are the ones who deny the truth who do not use their reason. If they choose to follow their fathers then they will be the same.

                                          (2171)

                                          2171 (Asad) And so, the parable of those who re bent on denying the truth is that of the beast which hears the shepherd's cry, and hears in it nothing but the sound of a voice and a call. Deaf are they, and dumb, and blind for they do not use their reason.

                                          Yes, did I contend otherwise... ? My posting of that sign was to highlight the logic i.e. 'what if your fathers knew nothing and were not guided'.

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