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  4. Asking a woman in secrecy

Asking a woman in secrecy

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  • A Offline
    A Offline
    Ayisha
    wrote on last edited by
    #57

    Dear Ayisha

    You may see the remark as distainful but I don't.

    Is it not a fact that any of the PM's that do not accept rulings and advice from the Muslim Scholars because they are perceived to have deviated from the path and brainwashed the masses, make up their own in accordance to what they believe is right from their personal interpretation of the Quran?

    Tell me I'm wrong.

    Peace

    dont you mean deviated from the path of the brainwashed masses in order to use their own brains and minds as instructed by Allah in Quran?

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    • F Offline
      F Offline
      FAR
      wrote on last edited by
      #58

      is this procedure given in any hadith brother?

      The procedure of forgiveness and telling one's authority to tell the girls authority is proper. It helps two people to have each other judged without their ownselves becoming clouded in love.

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      • A Offline
        A Offline
        Ayisha
        wrote on last edited by
        #59

        I've touched her heart, and broken it twice.

        hey bro you better wear gloves, a womans heart is a delicate thing ;D

        sorry just lightening it a bit. peace

        can I ask your age? dont answer if you dont want to

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        • F Offline
          F Offline
          FAR
          wrote on last edited by
          #60

          I know what touching is and I will say again, READ WHAT WAS WRITTEN, there was NO touching there not even holding hands.

          We touched on quite a bit of subjects in the 5 hour stretch chat conversation we had.

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          • A Offline
            A Offline
            Ayisha
            wrote on last edited by
            #61

            We touched on quite a bit of subjects in the 5 hour stretch chat conversation we had.

            but not physically. thereformer here is accusing you of touching physically in an improper manner. Whether you did or not is not our concern and not one word in your post implied you did, thereformer was wrong in his assumptions and accusations.

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            • F Offline
              F Offline
              FAR
              wrote on last edited by
              #62

              as lonely as you, me and the rest of the posters here?

              Im with nsws1988, he can ask for advice, moan, write his thoughs, whatever hes welcome.

              Mashallah.

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              • F Offline
                F Offline
                FAR
                wrote on last edited by
                #63

                But, Ayisha. I don't come on here asking for advice on my relationship with my spouse or potential spouse or trying to verify the right way because I have decided to cut myself off from the majority of Muslims around the world therefore cannot go to a more learned person for advice.

                You may discuss your personal issues here but not me.

                How about setting up a blog for his thoughts, moans, gripes and what nots. Or even diarise it.

                Anyway keep up the advice.

                Peace

                Quran 3103 refer to it.

                And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth Allah make His Signs clear to you That ye may be guided.

                The Noble Qur'an An-Nisa 488-89 refer to it as well.

                Then what is the matter with you that you are divided into two parties about the hypocrites? Allah has cast them back (to disbelief) because of what they have earned. Do you want to guide him whom Allah has made to go astray? And he whom Allah has made to go astray, you will never find for him any way (of guidance). They wish that you reject Faith, as they have rejected (Faith), and thus that you all become equal (like one another). So take not 'Auliya' (protectors or friends) from them, till they emigrate in the Way of Allah. But if they turn back, take of them and kill them wherever you find them, and take neither 'Auliya' nor helpers from them.

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                • F Offline
                  F Offline
                  FAR
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #64

                  No im an accountant, but I do give some English lessons here to my husband and some of his friends, inshaAllah it will be more if I get the interview for the job I applied &

                  If you were a solicitor you'd be a proper English teacher. rotfl

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                  • F Offline
                    F Offline
                    FAR
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #65

                    hey bro you better wear gloves, a womans heart is a delicate thing ;D

                    sorry just lightening it a bit. peace

                    can I ask your age? dont answer if you dont want to

                    25, turned last week. Seems like something significant, more so than the other years until 17 and 10 and 6 and 1

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                    • W Offline
                      W Offline
                      Wootah
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #66

                      he already made a mistake, and she (the girls) also made the same mistake, so he must ask forgiveness and she must do it too, and then he tell his parents that he wants a girl , then they will visit the parents of the girl and they will propose marriage to her and she will accept and then thing fixed that if this marriage succeed.

                      Not a bad idea really. If you fall in love it is far better to get married and live under God and learn about love than live in sin and learn about lust.

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                      • T Offline
                        T Offline
                        Thereformer1
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #67

                        Not a bad idea really. If you fall in love it is far better to get married and live under God and learn about love than live in sin and learn about lust.

                        thank you so much. thank God someone got my point .

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                        • N Offline
                          N Offline
                          nsws1988
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #68

                          Not a bad idea really. If you fall in love it is far better to get married and live under God and learn about love than live in sin and learn about lust.

                          If you read his post properly then you'd know that he wants to get married.

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                          • A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Ayisha
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #69

                            If you read his post properly then you'd know that he wants to get married.

                            ahh no one reads properly, its easier to interpret what they assume is said, same as they do with Quran. No brians thats what it is (

                            ;D

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                            • N Offline
                              N Offline
                              nsws1988
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #70

                              ahh no one reads properly, its easier to interpret what they assume is said, same as they do with Quran. No brians thats what it is (

                              ;D

                              haha I hope you're not having feelings for Brian. He's mine! Hands off! >(
                              Joke! P

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                              • U Offline
                                U Offline
                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #71

                                ahh no one reads properly, its easier to interpret what they assume is said, same as they do with Quran. No brians thats what it is

                                ;D

                                it is you poeple who don't use their brains and rely on quran alone!

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                                • A Offline
                                  A Offline
                                  Ayisha
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #72

                                  it is you poeple who don't use their brains and rely on quran alone!

                                  No sir, its you people that need to rely on other books and dont rely on Allah and Quran, I rely on Quran Alone! >

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                                  • A Offline
                                    A Offline
                                    afridi220
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #73

                                    it is you poeple who don't use their brains and rely on quran alone!

                                    You are soooo right handshake

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                                    • F Offline
                                      F Offline
                                      FAR
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #74

                                      If you read his post properly then you'd know that he wants to get married.

                                      I want her to inshallah give me her address, and we'll get married on the 5th May the god willing. Making her run away from her parents who have kept her under semi-house arrest for 2 years. But she doesn't want to hurt her family, even though she says she hates them. At least for well the day, inshallah quickly get married to her while they let her have her day out to the OU fortnightly school session and then inshallah carrying on chatting to her without the fear of violating quran 2235

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                                      • Z Offline
                                        Z Offline
                                        zulu12
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #75

                                        Straight out of a Bollywood flick mate.

                                        If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

                                        Make sure you wear the white scarf on the day of running and don't forget the singing behind the tree thing changing your clothes 20 times in the process.

                                        Peace

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                                        • N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          nimnimak_11
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #76

                                          http//answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100404100742AAYnIE3

                                          What do you do if you believe you've violated quran 2235 and suggested proposal to a woman in secrecy?
                                          I told one female about my feelings for, now we're almost deeply in love with one another. She's afraid to tell her parents let alone I embarrassed to tell mine. As we both have had parents aggressively disagree on previous affections with other people. The verse makes it clear that I am to openly propose, not come to her in secrecy.

                                          What do I do. Because every now and then we end up experiencing quran 3140 every other day literally.

                                          "If misfortune touches you, similar misfortune has touched people as well; for it is by turns that We apportion unto men such days and to the end that the god might mark out those who have attained to faith, and choose from among you such as bear witness to the truth - since the god does not love evildoers - "

                                          You are almost deeply in love with one another. Congradulations. I hope your love strengthens and progresses.
                                          I agree with ayisha. I don't think you violated anything. You have just proposed and expressed your feelings. Can you see any wrong with this? Perhaps your understanding of the verse is wrong. If you assessed your actions between love and lust would you not think that your actions were more out of love then lust?

                                          As for your parents. They most likely Love you very much and you most likely owe them a great deal so a few verses on parents

                                          1723 And your Lord decreed that you shall not serve except He, and do good to your parents. When one of them or both of them reach old age, do not say to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them, but say to them a kind saying.

                                          My take on 1723

                                          The verse does not say do whatever they tell you to do. Parents are not gonna be perfect as only God is perfect. If their making a mistake or forcing you to something which is clearly your right and they should just advise you, then do not obey them but keep in line with 1723

                                          Also

                                          2908 And We instructed man to be good to his parents. But if they strive to make you set up partners with Me, then do not obey them. To Me are all your destinies, and I will inform you of what you used to do

                                          Don't waste the potential of love. Respect your parents but surely they should respect your decisions and this is not a controversial issue.

                                          Good luck Bro
                                          God bless both you and your love.

                                          Peace

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