How sex before Marriage is not haram (prohibited) according to the Quran
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Peace,
It depends on how you should interpret "what your right hand possesses". Sex without intention to stay with the person in question is not ideal. Sex without love and only for your desires seems quite shallow, irresponsible.
Other than that, it feels a bit demoralizing to have sex with a previously touched woman, at least if she had a lot of lovers before. If she had a reason to be divorced or widowed, it is okay, but a girl who has a lot of one night stands is a bit semi-disgusting.
Guard your private parts means to not let your wife down by "cheating" on her and I doubt it should be interpreted as no sex before marriage. Any sensible God-fearing man or young man should see that following your vain desires and especially wild sex lives rhyme poorly with a righteous life.
The bond between man and woman is meant to be and it is no temporary joy, simple reading and understanding of Quran reveals that. Yet love is a complicated thing and often imagined, man-made and it is rather a rush of hormones and nothing more. Bonding has more to do with intelligence and commitment. The bond is built on commitment and habits and having a partner for life who is there for you. That is what I believe is the fundament of a marriage, and why so many marriages break apart because they treat it as it should not be treated. It may be part of one's trial, wherefore most people fail because they had no Faith in the first place.
And to those who had to divorce out of mistreatment or violence there is no blame on them. There it can be a trial to get away from your Satan-possessed partner. But best is to reconcile.
We have to remember that your partner is probably the one you are going to spend your time in Paradise with, if she is worthy and a good Believer. Otherwise it is better to stay single for your life if that is not your intention. If s/he fails to get to Paradise you will be compensated with a new one, rest assured.
God bless you
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Without a new Messenger the human race will not be able to return to this harmonious past with loving families and what was good.
I don't think there ever was a harmonious past with loving families. Until recently, marriage had nothing to with love at all.
In early Muslim societies men could have sex with female slaves, even without their consent, and regardless of whether their wives agreed or not. Also, the concept of the wife's consent to marital sex was unheard of. This supposedly harmounious past is nothing but an illusion.
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All in all from my observations it seems that most of the male/female sexually available populace has not grown beyond mere "drink water, eat food, poop, ejaculate" level conditioning. They do not possess higher insight, nor purpose. Consequently relations with such people will be fruitless. With the girls, expect a loose whore or a diva. With the guys, it will be a pathetic pushover who worships the girl's feet or a player who will use her like a ragdoll and throw her to the side, covered in fluids. Apologies for the crude depictions THIS is the reality of the "western" world.
This can be observed allover the world, it is not a "Western" phenomenon. In fact, restrictive social norms which usually foster a double standard make it much easier for men to "throw a woman to the side" after they are done with her.
You see, billions of years of evolution has led to every single woman, no matter how pure, having a very strong tendency towards men who have the ability to play girls and get lots of them. This is instinctive, this is primal, this cannot be overturned. No matter how pure and innocent a women, this is the very way the female of the species is hard-wired.
Obviously I'm not a member of the female species since I seem to be lacking this "instinctive" and "primal" desire for a man like that. hmm
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Peace Leyna,
I did not talk about abusive relationships, they have always existed. And love is relative, we cannot always feel that childish love if we are not very blessed I think. I think marriages are more about commitment and responsibility than love when we grow in years together.
This nuclear family commitment is what I feel is gone. Like I said that my grandparents lived together their whole lives.
God bless you
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This can be observed allover the world, it is not a "Western" phenomenon. In fact, restrictive social norms which usually foster a double standard make it much easier for men to "throw a woman to the side" after they are done with her.
Obviously I'm not a member of the female species since I seem to be lacking this "instinctive" and "primal" desire for a man like that. hmmPeace Leyna
Are you saying you are invulnerable to battered wife syndrome? Essentially that is what it is. But BWS is a subset of this conditioning. It is thoroughly well documented, that biologically a woman will seek the strongest male available.But the fact you are AWARE of God, is what holds you away from that accursed path. Do not think it is of your own doing, that is pure folly. We have a desire to hold ourselves to be strong. I hear many people say "I don't need heaven or hell to tell right from wrong". What I read more like is "God is less wise than me" -
4333 - And were it not that all people had been a single nation, We would certainly have assigned to those who disbelieve in the Beneficent Allah (to make) of silver the roofs of their houses and the stairs by which they ascend.
Now my dear Leyna I can say I am lacking in the desire for big boobs and butt and apparently I am not a man but you and I both well know the REALITY of the situation. Which is that man, is created weak... entirely on purpose by God the Most Wise, emphasis on the Most, emphasis on the Wise. I know that if God did not guide me, I would be rabidly chasing women right now just like every single human being of my age who has not seen quranic light.
Fundamental truth of the human condition intense emotions override logic ALWAYS
What happens when things get hot and heavy? Intense emotions!
What type of man masters the art of creating situations where things get hot and heavy? hmmNow, when a woman, however pure she is, gets into a hot + heavy situation with such a man, do you think she will be able to resist? Let me rephrase that, because I know the answer already. When things get hot and heavy beyond the point of no-return, do you think a woman will WANT to resist?
And this, is how the players get the notches on their bed-post, you see. I have seen many a woman say "hell no I won't"... often these girls have never even had a partner beforeGuess what I hear the week after?
So if you hold yourself to be impervious to your own biology, then neither the scientific community, nor am I deceived in any way shape or form! Only you deceive your Self but I do not believe it for a second
5332 - Those who keep aloof from the great sins and the indecencies but the passing idea; surely your Lord is liberal in forgiving. He knows you best when He brings you forth from the earth and when you are embryos in the wombs of your mothers; therefore do not attribute purity to your souls; He knows him best who guards (against evil).
The only thing stopping any human being from a path of total ignorance and brutal hedonism, is God's guidance and will. You have to eat and poop, God does not. You cannot guide yourself, only God can.
And the funny thing is I have spoken to and seen countless many women who have fallen trap to players... And to watch them cry their eyes out thinking of how sad their "love" story is, is quite -\
Just because your hedonism does not bear resemblance to common hedonism does not mean you are free of the Shaitan that lurks within us all. Like I said, such holier-than-thou does not deceive those who are not you! God knows the secrets of the hearts and the stealthy glances, you think you are an exception?
Ironically this very conditioning response, which the Most Wise sought fit to condition over billions of years into mankind, this very response is the REASON why God prohibits promiscuity. Because it is a very sensitive biological circuit which works brilliantly to help a woman choose the ideal mate for her, if she is of pure mind. But when she loses purity this very same circuit goes haywire and creates a thought-complex, of which a subset can be classified as Battered Wife Syndrome. Really, it is simply the consequence of heedlessness. When God places those locks on the ears and eyes, such is the result.
Now, why am I making a big deal out of this? It's not the happenstance itself. It is the thought-form that gives rise to the happenstance here; to be successful one must eradicate all of these thought-forms. They are silent sparks in the brain, which give rise to thoughts of vanity and self-deception. These thought-forms are the silent Shaitan that lurks in wait, in every single one of our minds. And only via meditative concentration do they become visible. Otherwise these dark companions lead us astray while deceiving us into thinking we are doing good. These thought-forms bear little resemblance to that which springs forth from them. It could just as well be an idea, that you are charitable or forgiving, or this or that. The actual substance of the thought-form is generic and devoid of intrinsic specific-ness. It just waits for something you will find pleasing and latches on, and tumbles you into the abyss!
Peace be upon you
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Are you saying you are invulnerable to battered wife syndrome?
No. I was saying that I am not attracted to players and machos. And I object against the statement that "every women" has a tendency to be attracted to them. This is a grossly generalizing statement.
What happens when things get hot and heavy? Intense emotions!
What type of man masters the art of creating situations where things get hot and heavy? hmmNow, when a woman, however pure she is, gets into a hot + heavy situation with such a man, do you think she will be able to resist? Let me rephrase that, because I know the answer already. When things get hot and heavy beyond the point of no-return, do you think a woman will WANT to resist?
And this, is how the players get the notches on their bed-post, you see. I have seen many a woman say "hell no I won't"... often these girls have never even had a partner beforeI don't really understand what you are trying to say with this example. But in any case ? the above scenario happens just as well with reversed roles. Please do not tell me men are never helpless in the face of their own emotions and desires. In fact, irrational male behaviour caused by love or lust is well-documented in history and contemporary affairs.
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Obviously I'm not a member of the female species since I seem to be lacking this "instinctive" and "primal" desire for a man like that. hmm
Lol! This
All my life has been a lie! I am actually a man, oh no!
There's a song that describes the feeling most believing women feel very well actually... ) -
Since it was started this topic has nothing to do with Quran or Islam. Some admin should lock this s***
...and Sonny's back! (I mean no offense by this)
I think what believing men and women would want would be fairly similiar - loyalty, friendship, sincerity, down to earth, non-arrogant, kind, reserved in a modest way etc now finding that person.... that's another thing - but will happen (if it's meant to happen) by the leave and guidance of Allah swt.
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But it is not as simple as "hey guys, here's a verse, done".
Yet surely it IS. It should be. Something has gone seriously wrong. The same way that billions can (not) read 316 and magically find prohibition of music therein.
The system in the quran does not permit CHAOS. Plain and simple.
What we see today, is CHAOS. People having sex with 300 partners in a life time. Have 6 or 7 or even 20 kids, who they do not even know of. STDs, girlfriends and boyfriends getting together, breaking up. It is an orgy of depravity in all but name, and time scale. The fact that these people are not in a room at once, does it make a difference? Just because instead of a mere few seconds, they might wait a few days, weeks or months before switching partners, does it really make a difference?
But equally blameworthy is sexual repression and misunderstanding, the kind that tells an imam that rape is okay because the woman did not wear her hijab.
Satan has overtaken the people from both sides, this is clear for all to see. Somewhere in the middle lies the straight path.
Peace IAMOP,
That's true, its not as simple as here's a verse and I think it means this so Bam, we're done. The Quran doesn't allow us to just read it and then we're finished. There's some sublety in there. The central Message of the Quran is simple but that does not mean that some discussion isn't necessary or allowable. The problem is when people go over the top and just discuss whether or not the Quran means this or that for the sake of it. This happens everywhere with all groups though.
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Salaam,
Everytime I view the Who's online board, I always see this thread being viewed by some guests.
This is crazy.
Regards,
Yuliana -
Well, sex is like the peak of material experience... and it is a strong and fundamental part of our biology... and since most people are overly focused on materials things (even the religious people), therefore humanity is obsessed by sex. People are obsessed and addicted to sex above and beyond a healthy and natural engagement in it.
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Well, sex is like the peak of material experience... and it is a strong and fundamental part of our biology... and since most people are overly focused on materials things (even the religious people), therefore humanity is obsessed by sex. People are obsessed and addicted to sex above and beyond a healthy and natural engagement in it.
People are obsessed and addicted to sex in this day and age because they lack Sakeenah (divine tranquility) and their lives are bereft of worship and devotion to Allah. They try to fill their empty souls with good feelings from excessive sex and lust. But in the end, like all addictions, they end up even more empty, lonely and depressed. Satan has seeped into their miserable lives and conquered their souls for Jahannam
In contrast, a person who lives his life by Imaan (faith in Allah) and devotes himself to prayer, worship, Dhikr, and study of the Quran and Hadith will have the Sakeenah brought down to him with the Angels. Such a person will not be prone to destructive worldly addictions, whether its sex, gambling, alcohol, drugs, parties, music, etc.
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Salaam,
Like studying hadith will lead to peace and tranquility.
God bless you
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study of the Quran and Hadith
Peace Brother,
Reading Quran along with Hadidth. Please make sure Quran and Quran Alone.
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What an interesting post i stumble upon...
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What an interesting post i stumble upon...
Good job, but why does it matter to people so much? I suggest they simply do whatever they want, and then they will learn perhaps, when it is too late.
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Good job, but why does it matter to people so much? I suggest they simply do whatever they want, and then they will learn perhaps, when it is too late.
Well you know like my psychology teacher said "males are designed to Spread the seed since our ancestor's ancestors time" so yeah it's normal for guys to think about this type of stuff
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Peace to everybody
Does anyone know why the Qur'an insists on corporal punishment for those who have sex outside marriage, but when it comes to murder, it says "forgiving" the murderer is better? It even says "don't show mercy to those who commit zina (having sex outside marriage), but it doesn't say "don't show mercy to murderers". Should we then conclude that, according to the Qur?an, having sex outside marriage is a bigger crime than murder?