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  4. How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Questions/Comments on the Quran
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  • S Offline
    S Offline
    SwedenMajidah
    wrote on last edited by
    #4

    Salaam,

    Are 4 wives correct!? i thought that was an misunderstanding.

    Peace Sis Maria

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    • W Offline
      W Offline
      warda
      wrote on last edited by
      #5

      marrying other women must be associated with orphans

      I, BUT THE WOMEN MUST HAVE ORPHANS, NOT A SINGLE WOMAN

      also the desire for marrying another woman must be motivated and caused by the care for her orphans not motivated by having another lady in bed,

      Salam Ahmed,

      Doesn't an orphan has neither father nor mother? So how can he marry a women with orphans?

      Salam
      warda

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      • Z Offline
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        zenje
        wrote on last edited by
        #6

        Doesn't an orphan has neither father nor mother? So how can he marry a women with orphans?

        Main Entry 1or?phan
        Pronunciation 'or-f&n
        Function noun
        Etymology Middle English, from Late Latin orphanus, from Greek orphanos; akin to Old High German erbi inheritance, Latin orbus orphaned
        1 a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents
        2 a young animal that has lost its mother
        3 one deprived of some protection or advantage <orphans of the storm>

        TRANSITIVE VERB
        or?phaned , or?phan?ing , or?phans
        To deprive (a child or young animal) of a parent or parents

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        • J Offline
          J Offline
          Jaxal
          wrote on last edited by
          #7

          SaLaM SM

          The misconception is that people can have 4 wives at the same times. that is ofcourse proven wrong and God forbids it. However, IF one wife dies you can marry another 1. Or if you are divorced, then you can marry another one. 4 like that.

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          • I Offline
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            ichephren
            wrote on last edited by
            #8

            Jaxal, could u prove what u said with verses? I want to see how u came up with that, I haven't heard that before.

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            • U Offline
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              unknownuser
              wrote on last edited by
              #9

              Salam Ahmed,

              Doesn't an orphan has neither father nor mother? So how can he marry a women with orphans?

              Salam
              warda

              peace sister warda

              as far as a i believe an orphan can be classified as any chiild who lost any of the parents

              the point here sister, what the father give is differnet to what the mother give they complete each other, a child needs both father and mother to be raised in a healthy enviroment

              so if a child does not have a father but have a mother, the child is orphaned, and the other way around, if the child has father but lost his mother

              the verse was revealed after Auhud battle where a lot oif muslim men dies and left orphaned to be cared by single mothers

              now I can take an oath on myself to help this mother and her orphans by giving them a monthly payment of similar, the problem here is this sister

              i might forget one month, or I might run low in cash and prefer that my pown children have the money instead of strangers, and this is when the unjust may be feared to happen and consequently I see Allah advicing us to marry their mothers which sure will make them exactly like my children and if I'm a reasionable man then they will be treated, loved and cared for exactly like my children, especially their mother has become my wife

              the Quran is very high on caring for the orphans, and truly I see marrying other women to care for the orphans os a ligitimate cause for polygamy

              I can't see it as an issue that is totally up to the man if he wants to marry any other woman, Allah didn't create women for the fun of men or to be abused by men, they are absolutely equal in the sight of Allah and they will differ in how they humble to Allah

              Allah knows best

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              • J Offline
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                Jaxal
                wrote on last edited by
                #10

                SaLaM ichephren

                When a man divorces, isnt he allowed to marry again? Or if his wife dies, isnt he allowed to marry again? That is what i mean. 4 wives like that. not at the same time.

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                • U Offline
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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #11

                  Peace jaxal

                  your logic does not make sense, if you mean one wife at a time

                  because if this is the case then there should not be an upper limit, I can marry a hundered as long as one at a time then divorce her

                  the verse is obvious bro that up to 4 wives at the same time, it is obvious from the upper limit that was inforced

                  I also believe any capable man can satisfy more than 4 women one at a time so the upper limit is not a restriction for the sake of just we have an upper limit

                  I believe there is a great wisdom in forcing an upper limit, let's consider the following logic

                  1. we will assume that the verse means to marry up to four at once and each wive of the additional wives MUST have orphans

                  2. let's assume for argument sake that each will have 1 to 2 orphans

                  3. this means this man who wants to care for those orphans will end up with between 4 to 8 orphans to care for, don't froget that this husband may get a child of his own from each wife, that is another 4 possible children

                  4. based in the above the husband will end up between a possible 8 to 12 children to care for

                  5. now if there is no upper limit and we are allowed to marry whatever number of widows with orphans then it is quite possibly that the man will end up with a school to care for, and most likely it will be beyond his financial capabilities, Allah can't leave it to us to assume that we are very rich and we can take care of a lot of children, this does not make sense because it is possible that that rich will not last and yet caused by Allah

                  6. my strongest argument is this bro

                  if you read the arabic verse again 43 you will clearly see that Allah is advicing us if we fear not to be equal with the four wives then WE SHOULD MARRY ONLY ONE, then the verse ended with the following

                  "Zaleka Adna Ala Ta'Ooloo"

                  now I see the obviious arabic word "Ta'Ooloo" as an indication that the additional wives were widows with orphans, because Allah is advicing us to marry only one if we will not be euqally fair with all, and He stated at the end of the verse that this is less harm than to "Ta'OoLoo" children and NOT be edqually fair with their mothers,

                  i.e. it is better not to worry about the orphans and marry only ONE if we fear that we will not be equally fair with their mothers (as being legal wives)

                  the arabic word "Ta'Ooloo" is a common arabic word which means that you have dependents and you care for them, it is actually drived from the very common arabic word (Eial) which means "Children"

                  The old Mofaseroon were really confused about this clear arabic word "Ta'Ooloo"

                  some has interpeted as (To cause injustice)

                  others intepeted it as (To lean to another wive)

                  Please read all the tafsir by the followings

                  1. Ibn Kathir
                  2. Al Galaleen
                  3. Al Tabari
                  4. Al Quetoby

                  and you will see what I mean by they were confused

                  why the hell is that if the arabic word clrearly means that you have dependants (Eial) to care for?

                  Allah knows best

                  Peace

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                  • J Offline
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                    Jaxal
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #12

                    SaLaM Ahmad

                    Ok brother. Put your argument aside and tell me this. How many husbands with orphans can a woman take? Does the same rule apply to the women?

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                    • U Offline
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                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #13

                      Hello mate

                      no it does not because the women can not multiply husbands concurrently from the first place

                      but I will elaborate with a couple of lines later, as I'm at work now

                      cheers

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                      • J Offline
                        J Offline
                        Jaxal
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #14

                        SaLaM Ahmed

                        women can not multiply husbands concurrently

                        What do you mean?

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #15

                          LOL

                          ok

                          here it is simply man

                          a muslim man can marry up to four wives at the same time as long as the multiple wives was to care for their children

                          a muslim woman can only marry one man, if that man died or a divorce happened then she can mary another man and so on as long as it is one man at a time

                          at least we will know the father of all her children

                          I do not agree at all with your logic of marrying up tpo four as long as it was one at a time, I'm sorry it makes no sense to me

                          cheers

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                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            Jaxal
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #16

                            SaLaM Ahmed

                            And that is the ONLY reason why a woman cannot marry 4 men at the same time? I mean its a crappy reason. But is this the ONLY reason?

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                            • R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Raj-ah
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #17

                              Jaxal wrote

                              SaLaM Rajah

                              1. One at a time.

                              Salam to you too

                              If that is so; why did the Prophet and his Companions did not follow this Quranic Command.

                              Ahmad Wrote

                              as far as the arabic words in verse 43 go, it means that muslim men are allowed to marry up to 4 women , BUT THE WOMEN MUST HAVE ORPHANS, NOT A SINGLE WOMAN

                              Peace to you too

                              Ok, let us take that as correct but If they are single than what??
                              The Question is "How many wives can a Muslim have according to Quran?"

                              Ahmed wrote

                              Allah adviced us to marry only ONE

                              Therefore from your post, I conclude that Quran allows only one Wive, but in the case their are women weather divorced or whom husband's have died with children's, Muslims can marry up to four.
                              And you have specifically related it with "Uhud"
                              Is that what you meant?

                              Before we can go on further.

                              Swedish lady wrote

                              Are 4 wives correct!? i thought that was an misunderstanding.

                              Any proof why is it misunderstanding?

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                              • U Offline
                                U Offline
                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #18

                                SaLaM Ahmed

                                And that is the ONLY reason why a woman cannot marry 4 men at the same time? I mean its a crappy reason. But is this the ONLY reason?

                                of course not, this is just the common sense one

                                however a man is intenally differrnt to a woman, also a man is suppose to be the one that provide not the woman, a man can make more money than a woman, there are exceptioanl cases but in general and by looking at many cultures, you will see that the man is the dominant in the top jobs

                                for example how many male CEOs compared yo femals CEOSs

                                how many male presidents compared to women?

                                how many females in the army, police, fire department, and politics leading jobs compared to males?

                                you will see this evident in all countries, logically speaking a man is most likely to provide not the woman because

                                and because the main reason for polygamy is to care for orphaned children and provide for them, it is allowed to men and not women

                                now if we talk emotionally, I don;t think a woman can support 4 familes like a man can do

                                cheers

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                                • S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  SwedenMajidah
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #19

                                  Salaam,

                                  No, I don't have any proofs and what is a proof anyway!?

                                  But I have an understanding that Orphans means a child with no father because it is the father who feed the family.

                                  But I know today this seems not so correct though because there are women with children who have top jobs and are rich and they don't need any man to feed them.

                                  But if the kids without any father is concidered to be orphans then the Quran perhaps mean that after u already have marry one woman then u are only allowed to marry orphans because they need more shelter or it can also mean that u can only marry the orphaned mothers.

                                  Peace sis Maria

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                                  • LaythL Offline
                                    LaythL Offline
                                    Layth
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #20

                                    Peace,

                                    I read the instruction as 4 wives being allowed on condition that 3 are mothers of orphans who are being taken in under the mans care.

                                    I am aware that 44 has been argued to mean mothers of orphans, while others have argued that it means to 'marry off' the orphan females (which I do not subscibe to as a limit is not required in this case)...

                                    the evidence I believe clinches the matter of conditional polygamy is the following

                                    "Forbidden for you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your fathers' sisters, and your mothers' sisters, and the daughters of your brother, and the daughters of your sister, and your foster mothers who suckled you, and your sisters from suckling, and the mothers of your wives, and your step-daughters residing in your homes from your wives which you have already consummated the marriage with; if you have not consummated the marriage then there is no sin upon you; and the wives of your sons that are from your seed, and that you join between two sisters except what has already been done. God is Forgiving, Merciful. " (The Message 424)

                                    This is clear to mean that 'joining more than one wife' is permisssible as long as they are not sisters (unless this was done before the verse was revealed).

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                                    • U Offline
                                      U Offline
                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #21

                                      Peace to you too

                                      Peace be with you bro

                                      Ok, let us take that as correct but If they are single than what??

                                      Why a single woman has to marry a married man?

                                      Haven?t you ask yourself this question bro?

                                      Would you allow your virgin daughter to marry a married man?

                                      what a virgin woman is missing to not to deserve to marry a man who is not already married?

                                      is it love between the two?, if so, then sorry, it has nothing to do with the orphans, yet if it is love, how that new love can be equal to the exiting love he already has?

                                      The Question is "How many wives can a Muslim have according to Quran?"

                                      Women are not slaves for men to talk about them as a max number to marry, this is ridiculous,

                                      Men can only marry widows with orphans as far as the verse states, it starts with mentioning that if we fear to be unjust with the orphans then we marry up to 4 women who had them

                                      But let me ask you first bro?

                                      If we have a problem in hand which is fearing not to be just with the orphans, how the proposed solution of marrying any other women will fit in the picture as a solution to the problem?,

                                      So if we consider the verse as follow

                                      If you fear not to be just with the orphans then marry any 4 women of you choice,

                                      Come on bro that does not makes sense at all

                                      The solution of marrying any 4 women is not a solution when we fear not to be just with the orphans, or what do you think?

                                      Therefore from your post, I conclude that Quran allows only one Wive, but in the case their are women weather divorced or whom husband's have died with children's, Muslims can marry up to four.
                                      And you have specifically related it with "Uhud"
                                      Is that what you meant?

                                      Absolutely

                                      Any struggling women with children whom even their father is alive but left them and don't give a shit about them can be considered under this law, it is all about raising the children who are missing the father?s care to be raised properly

                                      Yes I did related the verse to Uhud battle, as far as I believe the verse was revealed after too many Muslim men died in Uhud and left many widows and orphans, the other Muslim men did not know what to do with the huge number of widows and orphans especially their fathers died in the cause of Allah

                                      I believe some may even took oath to just take care and provide to them, however how we can guarantee that this kind man will continue to provide to them?, the best answer as recommended by our creator is to marry their mothers

                                      I will try the bring the whole article in here, it may add extra info to my understanding

                                      Peace

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                                      • U Offline
                                        U Offline
                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #22

                                        Peace,I read the instruction as 4 wives being allowed on condition that 3 are mothers of orphans who are being taken in under the mans care.

                                        Peace mate

                                        I agree regarding the women taken under the men's care, "Ma Malakato Aymanikom"

                                        I would say they sound like orphans to me, it is like there is no one to take care of them, then Allah does not want them to miss out and He wants us to elevate their status to legal wives, Allah knows best

                                        this is the closet of meaning I managed to find that is compatible with Allah great teachings and laws

                                        peace

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                                        • J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          Jaxal
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #23

                                          SaLaM Ahmed

                                          of course not, this is just the common sense

                                          Its a funny things, common sense. For example, it would be common sense for the woman to have a child with her first husband before having unprotected sex with her other 3. This would obviously solve the 'whose the father' mystery. Or it would be common sense, that the woman is unable to have babies so 'whose the father' mystery wont even play. Or how about this, perhaps the woman DONT WANT to have any more babies. So she is in a good financial position. She marries 4 husbands with orphans. either she dont have sex with them or has protected sex with them.

                                          You look at this from a male prospective. No love. Oh yea, im a macho man supporting 4 wives with orphans. IM KING KONG. but look at it through the woman's prospective. How many sisters here on the forum are with children? would even one of you be OK to share your husband with another woman? Where is the love? A man cannot love more than 1 woman. how can he do justice between them? This is all from God. This is the command of God. Im sure i dont have to give you the verses. But when a man takes a second wife, he is in direct violation of the laws set by God on this matter. Same goes for the woman. Using your argument, even if the woman didnt want to have any babies, it still would be against the law of Allah on this matter.

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