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  4. How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Questions/Comments on the Quran
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Jaxal
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    SaLaM SM

    The misconception is that people can have 4 wives at the same times. that is ofcourse proven wrong and God forbids it. However, IF one wife dies you can marry another 1. Or if you are divorced, then you can marry another one. 4 like that.

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    • I Offline
      I Offline
      ichephren
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Jaxal, could u prove what u said with verses? I want to see how u came up with that, I haven't heard that before.

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      • U Offline
        U Offline
        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Salam Ahmed,

        Doesn't an orphan has neither father nor mother? So how can he marry a women with orphans?

        Salam
        warda

        peace sister warda

        as far as a i believe an orphan can be classified as any chiild who lost any of the parents

        the point here sister, what the father give is differnet to what the mother give they complete each other, a child needs both father and mother to be raised in a healthy enviroment

        so if a child does not have a father but have a mother, the child is orphaned, and the other way around, if the child has father but lost his mother

        the verse was revealed after Auhud battle where a lot oif muslim men dies and left orphaned to be cared by single mothers

        now I can take an oath on myself to help this mother and her orphans by giving them a monthly payment of similar, the problem here is this sister

        i might forget one month, or I might run low in cash and prefer that my pown children have the money instead of strangers, and this is when the unjust may be feared to happen and consequently I see Allah advicing us to marry their mothers which sure will make them exactly like my children and if I'm a reasionable man then they will be treated, loved and cared for exactly like my children, especially their mother has become my wife

        the Quran is very high on caring for the orphans, and truly I see marrying other women to care for the orphans os a ligitimate cause for polygamy

        I can't see it as an issue that is totally up to the man if he wants to marry any other woman, Allah didn't create women for the fun of men or to be abused by men, they are absolutely equal in the sight of Allah and they will differ in how they humble to Allah

        Allah knows best

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        • J Offline
          J Offline
          Jaxal
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          SaLaM ichephren

          When a man divorces, isnt he allowed to marry again? Or if his wife dies, isnt he allowed to marry again? That is what i mean. 4 wives like that. not at the same time.

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          • U Offline
            U Offline
            unknownuser
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            Peace jaxal

            your logic does not make sense, if you mean one wife at a time

            because if this is the case then there should not be an upper limit, I can marry a hundered as long as one at a time then divorce her

            the verse is obvious bro that up to 4 wives at the same time, it is obvious from the upper limit that was inforced

            I also believe any capable man can satisfy more than 4 women one at a time so the upper limit is not a restriction for the sake of just we have an upper limit

            I believe there is a great wisdom in forcing an upper limit, let's consider the following logic

            1. we will assume that the verse means to marry up to four at once and each wive of the additional wives MUST have orphans

            2. let's assume for argument sake that each will have 1 to 2 orphans

            3. this means this man who wants to care for those orphans will end up with between 4 to 8 orphans to care for, don't froget that this husband may get a child of his own from each wife, that is another 4 possible children

            4. based in the above the husband will end up between a possible 8 to 12 children to care for

            5. now if there is no upper limit and we are allowed to marry whatever number of widows with orphans then it is quite possibly that the man will end up with a school to care for, and most likely it will be beyond his financial capabilities, Allah can't leave it to us to assume that we are very rich and we can take care of a lot of children, this does not make sense because it is possible that that rich will not last and yet caused by Allah

            6. my strongest argument is this bro

            if you read the arabic verse again 43 you will clearly see that Allah is advicing us if we fear not to be equal with the four wives then WE SHOULD MARRY ONLY ONE, then the verse ended with the following

            "Zaleka Adna Ala Ta'Ooloo"

            now I see the obviious arabic word "Ta'Ooloo" as an indication that the additional wives were widows with orphans, because Allah is advicing us to marry only one if we will not be euqally fair with all, and He stated at the end of the verse that this is less harm than to "Ta'OoLoo" children and NOT be edqually fair with their mothers,

            i.e. it is better not to worry about the orphans and marry only ONE if we fear that we will not be equally fair with their mothers (as being legal wives)

            the arabic word "Ta'Ooloo" is a common arabic word which means that you have dependents and you care for them, it is actually drived from the very common arabic word (Eial) which means "Children"

            The old Mofaseroon were really confused about this clear arabic word "Ta'Ooloo"

            some has interpeted as (To cause injustice)

            others intepeted it as (To lean to another wive)

            Please read all the tafsir by the followings

            1. Ibn Kathir
            2. Al Galaleen
            3. Al Tabari
            4. Al Quetoby

            and you will see what I mean by they were confused

            why the hell is that if the arabic word clrearly means that you have dependants (Eial) to care for?

            Allah knows best

            Peace

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            • J Offline
              J Offline
              Jaxal
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              SaLaM Ahmad

              Ok brother. Put your argument aside and tell me this. How many husbands with orphans can a woman take? Does the same rule apply to the women?

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              • U Offline
                U Offline
                unknownuser
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                Hello mate

                no it does not because the women can not multiply husbands concurrently from the first place

                but I will elaborate with a couple of lines later, as I'm at work now

                cheers

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                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Jaxal
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  SaLaM Ahmed

                  women can not multiply husbands concurrently

                  What do you mean?

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                  • U Offline
                    U Offline
                    unknownuser
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    LOL

                    ok

                    here it is simply man

                    a muslim man can marry up to four wives at the same time as long as the multiple wives was to care for their children

                    a muslim woman can only marry one man, if that man died or a divorce happened then she can mary another man and so on as long as it is one man at a time

                    at least we will know the father of all her children

                    I do not agree at all with your logic of marrying up tpo four as long as it was one at a time, I'm sorry it makes no sense to me

                    cheers

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                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jaxal
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      SaLaM Ahmed

                      And that is the ONLY reason why a woman cannot marry 4 men at the same time? I mean its a crappy reason. But is this the ONLY reason?

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                      • R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Raj-ah
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Jaxal wrote

                        SaLaM Rajah

                        1. One at a time.

                        Salam to you too

                        If that is so; why did the Prophet and his Companions did not follow this Quranic Command.

                        Ahmad Wrote

                        as far as the arabic words in verse 43 go, it means that muslim men are allowed to marry up to 4 women , BUT THE WOMEN MUST HAVE ORPHANS, NOT A SINGLE WOMAN

                        Peace to you too

                        Ok, let us take that as correct but If they are single than what??
                        The Question is "How many wives can a Muslim have according to Quran?"

                        Ahmed wrote

                        Allah adviced us to marry only ONE

                        Therefore from your post, I conclude that Quran allows only one Wive, but in the case their are women weather divorced or whom husband's have died with children's, Muslims can marry up to four.
                        And you have specifically related it with "Uhud"
                        Is that what you meant?

                        Before we can go on further.

                        Swedish lady wrote

                        Are 4 wives correct!? i thought that was an misunderstanding.

                        Any proof why is it misunderstanding?

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          SaLaM Ahmed

                          And that is the ONLY reason why a woman cannot marry 4 men at the same time? I mean its a crappy reason. But is this the ONLY reason?

                          of course not, this is just the common sense one

                          however a man is intenally differrnt to a woman, also a man is suppose to be the one that provide not the woman, a man can make more money than a woman, there are exceptioanl cases but in general and by looking at many cultures, you will see that the man is the dominant in the top jobs

                          for example how many male CEOs compared yo femals CEOSs

                          how many male presidents compared to women?

                          how many females in the army, police, fire department, and politics leading jobs compared to males?

                          you will see this evident in all countries, logically speaking a man is most likely to provide not the woman because

                          and because the main reason for polygamy is to care for orphaned children and provide for them, it is allowed to men and not women

                          now if we talk emotionally, I don;t think a woman can support 4 familes like a man can do

                          cheers

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                          • S Offline
                            S Offline
                            SwedenMajidah
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            Salaam,

                            No, I don't have any proofs and what is a proof anyway!?

                            But I have an understanding that Orphans means a child with no father because it is the father who feed the family.

                            But I know today this seems not so correct though because there are women with children who have top jobs and are rich and they don't need any man to feed them.

                            But if the kids without any father is concidered to be orphans then the Quran perhaps mean that after u already have marry one woman then u are only allowed to marry orphans because they need more shelter or it can also mean that u can only marry the orphaned mothers.

                            Peace sis Maria

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                            • LaythL Offline
                              LaythL Offline
                              Layth
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Peace,

                              I read the instruction as 4 wives being allowed on condition that 3 are mothers of orphans who are being taken in under the mans care.

                              I am aware that 44 has been argued to mean mothers of orphans, while others have argued that it means to 'marry off' the orphan females (which I do not subscibe to as a limit is not required in this case)...

                              the evidence I believe clinches the matter of conditional polygamy is the following

                              "Forbidden for you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your fathers' sisters, and your mothers' sisters, and the daughters of your brother, and the daughters of your sister, and your foster mothers who suckled you, and your sisters from suckling, and the mothers of your wives, and your step-daughters residing in your homes from your wives which you have already consummated the marriage with; if you have not consummated the marriage then there is no sin upon you; and the wives of your sons that are from your seed, and that you join between two sisters except what has already been done. God is Forgiving, Merciful. " (The Message 424)

                              This is clear to mean that 'joining more than one wife' is permisssible as long as they are not sisters (unless this was done before the verse was revealed).

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                              • U Offline
                                U Offline
                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                Peace to you too

                                Peace be with you bro

                                Ok, let us take that as correct but If they are single than what??

                                Why a single woman has to marry a married man?

                                Haven?t you ask yourself this question bro?

                                Would you allow your virgin daughter to marry a married man?

                                what a virgin woman is missing to not to deserve to marry a man who is not already married?

                                is it love between the two?, if so, then sorry, it has nothing to do with the orphans, yet if it is love, how that new love can be equal to the exiting love he already has?

                                The Question is "How many wives can a Muslim have according to Quran?"

                                Women are not slaves for men to talk about them as a max number to marry, this is ridiculous,

                                Men can only marry widows with orphans as far as the verse states, it starts with mentioning that if we fear to be unjust with the orphans then we marry up to 4 women who had them

                                But let me ask you first bro?

                                If we have a problem in hand which is fearing not to be just with the orphans, how the proposed solution of marrying any other women will fit in the picture as a solution to the problem?,

                                So if we consider the verse as follow

                                If you fear not to be just with the orphans then marry any 4 women of you choice,

                                Come on bro that does not makes sense at all

                                The solution of marrying any 4 women is not a solution when we fear not to be just with the orphans, or what do you think?

                                Therefore from your post, I conclude that Quran allows only one Wive, but in the case their are women weather divorced or whom husband's have died with children's, Muslims can marry up to four.
                                And you have specifically related it with "Uhud"
                                Is that what you meant?

                                Absolutely

                                Any struggling women with children whom even their father is alive but left them and don't give a shit about them can be considered under this law, it is all about raising the children who are missing the father?s care to be raised properly

                                Yes I did related the verse to Uhud battle, as far as I believe the verse was revealed after too many Muslim men died in Uhud and left many widows and orphans, the other Muslim men did not know what to do with the huge number of widows and orphans especially their fathers died in the cause of Allah

                                I believe some may even took oath to just take care and provide to them, however how we can guarantee that this kind man will continue to provide to them?, the best answer as recommended by our creator is to marry their mothers

                                I will try the bring the whole article in here, it may add extra info to my understanding

                                Peace

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                                • U Offline
                                  U Offline
                                  unknownuser
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  Peace,I read the instruction as 4 wives being allowed on condition that 3 are mothers of orphans who are being taken in under the mans care.

                                  Peace mate

                                  I agree regarding the women taken under the men's care, "Ma Malakato Aymanikom"

                                  I would say they sound like orphans to me, it is like there is no one to take care of them, then Allah does not want them to miss out and He wants us to elevate their status to legal wives, Allah knows best

                                  this is the closet of meaning I managed to find that is compatible with Allah great teachings and laws

                                  peace

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                                  • J Offline
                                    J Offline
                                    Jaxal
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    SaLaM Ahmed

                                    of course not, this is just the common sense

                                    Its a funny things, common sense. For example, it would be common sense for the woman to have a child with her first husband before having unprotected sex with her other 3. This would obviously solve the 'whose the father' mystery. Or it would be common sense, that the woman is unable to have babies so 'whose the father' mystery wont even play. Or how about this, perhaps the woman DONT WANT to have any more babies. So she is in a good financial position. She marries 4 husbands with orphans. either she dont have sex with them or has protected sex with them.

                                    You look at this from a male prospective. No love. Oh yea, im a macho man supporting 4 wives with orphans. IM KING KONG. but look at it through the woman's prospective. How many sisters here on the forum are with children? would even one of you be OK to share your husband with another woman? Where is the love? A man cannot love more than 1 woman. how can he do justice between them? This is all from God. This is the command of God. Im sure i dont have to give you the verses. But when a man takes a second wife, he is in direct violation of the laws set by God on this matter. Same goes for the woman. Using your argument, even if the woman didnt want to have any babies, it still would be against the law of Allah on this matter.

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                                    • U Offline
                                      U Offline
                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #24

                                      Peace brother Layth,

                                      Good to see you posting brother!

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                                      • LaythL Offline
                                        LaythL Offline
                                        Layth
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #25

                                        Peace Kyle,

                                        Good to see you posting brother!

                                        Not as regular as I would like, but still here

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                                        • U Offline
                                          U Offline
                                          unknownuser
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #26

                                          SaLaM Ahmed

                                          of course not, this is just the common sense

                                          Its a funny things, common sense. For example, it would be common sense for the woman to have a child with her first husband before having unprotected sex with her other 3.

                                          yes I agree that sex with more than one partners will make all vunerlable for STDs if any there

                                          bnut the assumption is, now days both partners must be checked for STD before marriage is fulfilled, I will do that myself, we can?t take any risk in the 20s century

                                          but I believe Allah can stop any disease to any person by just a two letters word

                                          This would obviously solve the 'whose the father' mystery. Or it would be common sense, that the woman is unable to have babies so 'whose the father' mystery wont even play.

                                          another tough note, however if a woman can?t have children remember that Allah made her this way as He stated in His Quran, so He will be the only one to take care of her really

                                          Or how about this, perhaps the woman DONT WANT to have any more babies. So she is in a good financial position. She marries 4 husbands with orphans. either she dont have sex with them or has protected sex with them.

                                          possible but she will be called a sl** even by non muslims

                                          You look at this from a male prospective. No love. Oh yea, im a macho man supporting 4 wives with orphans. IM KING KONG. but look at it through the woman's prospective.

                                          I?m looking at it from the women perspective, I actually don?t give a fluke about the men perspective because I know most of them will interpret it to their benefit

                                          If a widow or a divorcee who have children and struggling in life, then it is ok for a capable man to marry them and help them and their children, if they manage to find a single man to marry them then piece of cake but I can assure you it is going to be hard for them, especially if they are deprived from beauty and old

                                          How many sisters here on the forum are with children? would even one of you be OK to share your husband with another woman?

                                          this question was asked on a sunni forum that I don?t like and to my shocking surprise most sisters there came with an answer that they will be happy to share their husband, now I now that most of them are F of S, and surely brain washed

                                          Where is the love? A man cannot love more than 1 woman. how can he do justice between them?

                                          a man can love more than one woman but he will never love them equally

                                          This is all from God. This is the command of God. Im sure i dont have to give you the verses. But when a man takes a second wife, he is in direct violation of the laws set by God on this matter.

                                          not a violation as such, I agree that polygamy comes with its disadvantages however the main reason is to take care of the children, now a less hard is ok to prevent a bigger harm, this is the general rule in Islam, so the less harm of not being equal to 4 wives is ok to commit if a bigger harm of the orphans not raised in a healthy environment , now if men wants to listen and obey Allah advice that we will never be equal then we should marry only one and don?t worry about the orphans then this is the way to go ?marry only one? and I?m in favour of marrying only one regardless of the orphans, I have been married for 16 years and can?t imagine I can live with a second wife or even replace the one I?m married to with another for good, so I?m also not in favour of divorce, it just can?t happen in my life inshaaallah

                                          Same goes for the woman. Using your argument, even if the woman didnt want to have any babies, it still would be against the law of Allah on this matter.

                                          I agree

                                          peace

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