Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?
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Hi Lotetree,
This attitude must need to change. But it will not happen with your parents perhaps but when you become a parent yourself then may be. But you have to start somewhere wink
I agree.
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Arranged Marriages as it is practiced in Pakistan, Bangladesh and India is a way of the Ugly People marrying the Beautiful. The Unintelligent marrying the Smart!
Arranged marriages is a way of perpetuating the Power of Men over women!
Regards,
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Arranged marriages is the only way to get married here.
they don't exist here.
Marriage is a personal thing here, no parents would dare to interfere. They will give some advice of course and some opinion but from outside., the work is done before it is believed that it is impossible to choose someone who won't be accepted by the parents if the girl or the boy gets along with them, with the parents, because the preferences will be the same, the values, the likes and dislikes.
This has been the way for me, for my parents, for my grand parents, (for my great grand parents I don't know) and it will be the same for my children.
Besides, it is not ok here to think of marriage too soon after meeting the other person, it would be considered selfish and to get married without knowing the other person well would be considered a crazy thing.
I totally agree with you.. thats a nice way to approach and get to know a person before taking the relation in to serious level....
hehe...may be I should travel to spain again and date some girls,....hehhehe
shanti
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Arranged Marriages as it is practiced in Pakistan, Bangladesh and India is a way of the Ugly People marrying the Beautiful. The Unintelligent marrying the Smart!
Arranged marriages is a way of perpetuating the Power of Men over women!
Regards,
Donno about India or Pakistan.....but in Bangladesh...ppl are changing. Now days the young generation prefers love marriage than arranged. Still tehre is a long way to go as this change can be mostly observed in the city areas.
shanti(peace)
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Salam Ahmed,
Salam sister Taj
The hint?
Your name my dear brother! It is a typical Eygptian name ) Don't you think?I thought Mohammad is the most common one, well, ahmed is not that far, did you notice in most egyptian movies, the star name is Ahmed and the costar is Mona? lol
I will but I need a lot of time please, I think it was about encouraging marraiges to some people which can be considered arranged marraige, i have to show the verse though
Do you mean
"Wa anki7o al ayama minkum wa ssale7een in yakoono foqaraa'a yughnihumu Allah...." Correct me if I'm wrong!not sure sister I have to find the verse and discuss it with you, i may be wrong though, but I will do my best to find it
As a matter of fact, I think it goes straight against Islam to interfere with the choice of marriage partners.
I meant the decision of choice. Of course, family and friends will always volunteer names but it should stop at that. The final decision should be the woman or the man, not the family. That is what I meant.
sure
well most of the prophet marraiges were arranged marraiges
Maybe you are right!
I think all are except Khadija
fine with me, but that does not mean that I don't ask people that I know if they have a wife for me or for my son, or a husband for my daughter then we see them and if everyone is happy, why not then?
Naturally! Nothing is wrong with that. But how can you ask a husband for your daughter? How do you say it? I am curious! Do you have a certain tactics, implications...?? )
no tactics but looking for a good man to my daughter
Differences are a cultural thing, absolutely, but sometimes these things can be really bad.
I agree
So your wife was a Haja before getting married. Well let me guess
She and her family were in Australia then visited SA to make Hajj then the two families met and the marriage happened! How far am I? )not too far and not too close, my mother in law wanted an egyptian husband to her daughter after the horrible experience she went through with her australian daughter in law who was married to her elder son and had 4 children from him, the aussie wife even prevented the kids from seeing their grand parents, they divirced 4 years ago and now he is married to an egyptian and have anopther 2 kids from her, his second marraige was arranged and they are very happy, so that was the motive for my mother in law to seek a husband from the same culture so she went with her to haj and asked Allah for Ibn El Hallal to her daughter and I reckon her wish was granted lol
I can perfectly understand why you hate SA, but Eygpt!
I hate Egypt more than SA, in fact I should be saying I hate SA because it is not my country, but I hate the people holding power in your country, for egypt, it is a very long story but I reckon I'm not confused regarding this senstive issue, I want the best for egypt but it seems it will always be impossible and those bunch of tyrants holding power
TAJ wrote
However, in Eygpt you have something very strange! "Katb Al Kitab" is not considered marriage. There has to be a wedding before the marriage can be consummated! And this goes against Al "Shar3" as far as I know! In Eygpt there are many heated arguments, started for some time now, between people of Shar3 and traditionalists regarding this point. What do you think?of course sister another stupid and flawed cultural thing, for me when my Kitab was written, I committed the thing betwen me and my wife and we didn't wait for the dukhla
OoooooooooooooKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!
We were legal husband and wife sister, the Kitab was written, and my wife is a very open minded woman and does not hold that much regards for the confusing traditions, especially she was raised in australia
peace sister
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Salam Ahmed,
When I said "your name" I meant your full name "Ahmed Bahgat" and not just Ahmed! That combination is Egyptian no doubt. Like for example if your name were "Noor Al Haq" I would guess that you are Paki or Bengali. If your name were "Noor Allah" I would guess you are Iranian, generally speaking.
The movies )
Suad, Lyla, Adel, Sala7... are also very popular in Egyptian movies, no? It is been a while since I've watched an Egyptian movie. The last one was Adel Imam's "El Safarah Fee El 3imarah". About Israli embassy renting an apartment, as the place for the embassy, in the same building that Adel Imam lives in Cairo. Not a bad movie but I loved his old ones much better, the ones with Yusra and Elham Shaheen..TAJ wrote
Naturally! Nothing is wrong with that. But how can you ask a husband for your daughter? How do you say it? I am curious! Do you have a certain tactics, implications...??
no tactics but looking for a good man to my daughter
How!? Give me an example of how, if that is not too much to ask! ? I am just curious!
my mother in law wanted an egyptian husband to her daughter after the horrible experience she went through with her australian daughter in law who was married to her elder son and had 4 children from him, the aussie wife even prevented the kids from seeing their grand parents, they divirced 4 years ago and now he is married to an egyptian and have anopther 2 kids from her, his second marraige was arranged and they are very happy, so that was the motive for my mother in law to seek a husband from the same culture so she went with her to haj and asked Allah for Ibn El Hallal to her daughter and I reckon her wish was granted lol
I will tell you something Egyptian women are really different than the rest of women in the whole world!!!! You know, there is a saying that is quite common here that goes "He who has not married an Egyptian woman, has not been married at all"!!! And local women have some feeling against Egyptian women!!!! And I better stop here lol
of course sister another stupid and flawed cultural thing, for me when my Kitab was written, I committed the thing betwen me and my wife and we didn't wait for the dukhla
OoooooooooooooKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!We were legal husband and wife sister, the Kitab was written, and my wife is a very open minded woman and does not hold that much regards for the confusing traditions, especially she was raised in australia
I have to disagree here. I think it is something that you would want to keep for "Ellailah El Kebeerah". I have read that even in USA that this sort of "waiting" is spreading among some girls, not to mention that it already exists there among conservative religious people. Jessica Simpson the singer, is one famous example.
Peace Brother
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Salama Aleikum Taj
Eygptian men are the kindest of all Arabs. That is a well-known and agreed-upon fact
You haven't been ever married to one nor do you know more egyptian couples around you...right? ) 'cos otherwise you wouldn't say so I guess.
Egyptians are definititly very kind people (damhum chafeef!), but egyptian men yell to their wifes as much as other arab men cry .
My best regards
Salam
warda -
Salam Warda,
I was only speaking generally and only based on the couples I know. They men looked extremely powerless and they made good "housewives"! They would cook, clean, etc..
But then again you should see the men from around here roll
And I believe they are worse because they are less educated than the Egyptians. They suppress women much more than in Egypt, don't you think? -
Salam Ahmed,
Salam Sister Taj
When I said "your name" I meant your full name "Ahmed Bahgat" and not just Ahmed! That combination is Egyptian no doubt. Like for example if your name were "Noor Al Haq" I would guess that you are Paki or Bengali. If your name were "Noor Allah" I would guess you are Iranian, generally speaking.
I agree regarding my full name, in fact I know a couple named Ahmed Bahgat, a famous Egyptian writer who writes in Al Ahram, and a very famous business man named Ahmed Bahgat
The movies )
Suad, Lyla, Adel, Sala7... are also very popular in Egyptian movies, no? It is been a while since I've watched an Egyptian movie. The last one was Adel Imam's "El Safarah Fee El 3imarah". About Israli embassy renting an apartment, as the place for the embassy, in the same building that Adel Imam lives in Cairo. Not a bad movie but I loved his old ones much better, the ones with Yusra and Elham Shaheen..Believe it or not Taj, my wife ?anne? watch all these movies and I hardly do while she was raised in Australia and I was raised in Egypt, I hardly watch TV actually, only News, Sports and Documentaries, but I used to like the old black and white Egyptian movies, they are great indeed, not the current crap
TAJ wrote
Naturally! Nothing is wrong with that. But how can you ask a husband for your daughter? How do you say it? I am curious! Do you have a certain tactics, implications...??
no tactics but looking for a good man to my daughter
How!? Give me an example of how, if that is not too much to ask! ? I am just curious!
very hard Taj, it depends on talks with my daughter after I allow her to talk to him and to understand him, possibly through talks with my wife and certainly through talks with him, possibly also asking about him through third parties who know him well, and if the daughter is fine then why not?
my mother in law wanted an egyptian husband to her daughter after the horrible experience she went through with her australian daughter in law who was married to her elder son and had 4 children from him, the aussie wife even prevented the kids from seeing their grand parents, they divirced 4 years ago and now he is married to an egyptian and have anopther 2 kids from her, his second marraige was arranged and they are very happy, so that was the motive for my mother in law to seek a husband from the same culture so she went with her to haj and asked Allah for Ibn El Hallal to her daughter and I reckon her wish was granted lol
I will tell you something Egyptian women are really different than the rest of women in the whole world!!!! You know, there is a saying that is quite common here that goes "He who has not married an Egyptian woman, has not been married at all"!!! And local women have some feeling against Egyptian women!!!! And I better stop here lol
Well, I?m so lucky then, but it seems because I?m Egyptian I found the other Arabic women more sexier than the Egyptian women, in fact I love their Arabic accent heaps, LOL
of course sister another stupid and flawed cultural thing, for me when my Kitab was written, I committed the thing betwen me and my wife and we didn't wait for the dukhla
OoooooooooooooKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!We were legal husband and wife sister, the Kitab was written, and my wife is a very open minded woman and does not hold that much regards for the confusing traditions, especially she was raised in Australia
I have to disagree here. I think it is something that you would want to keep for "Ellailah El Kebeerah". I have read that even in USA that this sort of "waiting" is spreading among some girls, not to mention that it already exists there among conservative religious people. Jessica Simpson the singer, is one famous example.
We actually had two Lialah Kebeerah, one in Cairo ?Dar Eldifa El Gawi? and in Sydney when I arrived, but I careless about all these facial protocols, I were legal husband and wife and our Kitab was witnessed by all family and friends in a small party, then we went on a cruise on the Nile, she was my wife Ala Sunnah Allah
Peace Brother
Likewise sister
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You haven't been ever married to one nor do you know more egyptian couples around you...right? ) 'cos otherwise you wouldn't say so I guess.
I agree
Egyptians are definititly very kind people (damhum chafeef!), but egyptian men yell to their wifes as much as other arab men cry .
I also agree lol but not me
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Salam Ahmed,
Well, I?m so lucky then, but it seems because I?m Egyptian I found the other Arabic women more sexier than the Egyptian women, in fact I love their Arabic accent heaps, LOL
Now which Arabic accent would that be!?
honestly I like them all except the iraqi, because simply I don't understand it lol
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Salam Ahmed,
Salam Ahmed,
Well, I?m so lucky then, but it seems because I?m Egyptian I found the other Arabic women more sexier than the Egyptian women, in fact I love their Arabic accent heaps, LOL
Now which Arabic accent would that be!?
honestly I like them all except the iraqi, because simply I don't understand it lol
Got to go for an errand. When I return, I will respond in detail Salam now!
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Salam Taj
Salam Warda,
I was only speaking generally and only based on the couples I know. They men looked extremely powerless and they made good "housewives"! They would cook, clean, etc..
WOW! where did you find them? Is there one left who is not married yet? If so tell me, I will be divorced soon lol looool
But then again you should see the men from around here
And I believe they are worse because they are less educated than the Egyptians. They suppress women much more than in Egypt, don't you think?Could possibly be so. What I know for sure is that women in every days life are present. With or without Hijab (well nowadays 90% are with Higab) but you seem them everywhere and this is nice. I think in SA women are not that much seen on the streets especially not alone. And I can't imagine that men in your country are less educated than in Egypt. Is it like this? Maybe Ahmed can tell us something about it.
Salam
warda -
I will tell you something Egyptian women are really different than the rest of women in the whole world!!!! You know, there is a saying that is quite common here that goes "He who has not married an Egyptian woman, has not been married at all"!!! And local women have some feeling against Egyptian women!!!! And I better stop here lol
Daaaaaymmm I need to get myself to Egypt or something. But I do love Arab women though...very mysterious and mind you no offense but always wanting love lol lol
PEACE
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Salaam 2 pac,
Oh yes, so now u like arab women lol some week ago u like blond women lol
But why you just don't say it out loud that you like all women lol lol lol
Peace Sis Majidah
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Salaam,
Ok, then I wish you very good luck to find that kind of woman.
Peace Sis Majidah
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Salam Warda,
Salam Warda,
I was only speaking generally and only based on the couples I know. They men looked extremely powerless and they made good "housewives"! They would cook, clean, etc..
WOW! where did you find them? Is there one left who is not married yet? If so tell me, I will be divorced soon lol looool
No but really, that is a well known fact! At least around here. But maybe it is not only because the Egyptian men are so kind abut also maybe because their women are so strong, unlike the women from SA and the other Gulf countries Oman, Bahrain, Qatar, UAE and Kuwait. They are painfully submissive.
But then again you should see the men from around here
And I believe they are worse because they are less educated than the Egyptians. They suppress women much more than in Egypt, don't you think?Could possibly be so. What I know for sure is that women in every days life are present. With or without Hijab (well nowadays 90% are with Higab) but you seem them everywhere and this is nice. I think in SA women are not that much seen on the streets especially not alone. And I can't imagine that men in your country are less educated than in Egypt. Is it like this? Maybe Ahmed can tell us something about it.
Generally speaking, some men here not only lack a lot of basic etiquette but also they never think of themselves as making mistakes. They think they are perfect and the woman has to be grateful for getting a husband, at all!!! But then again, they are only like that when they are with their SA wives. They would treat their foreign wives so differently, with so much respect!!!