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  4. Wife Beating is a Therapy

Wife Beating is a Therapy

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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    drfazl
    wrote on last edited by
    #47

    Peace,

    Beating wife is force; but then using force is not Islam! And this shall be the essential practice of a muslim in the path of Islam. Therefore meaning to the ayat concerned must be constructive to Islam and Quran. Stop beating Islam; stop beating Quran!

    Regards,

    .

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    • F Offline
      F Offline
      farida
      wrote on last edited by
      #48

      Peace,

      Beating wife is force; but then using force is not Islam! And this shall be the essential practice of a muslim in the path of Islam. Therefore meaning to the ayat concerned must be constructive to Islam and Quran. Stop beating Islam; stop beating Quran!

      Regards,

      Salaam,
      Yes using force is not in line with the character of one who is supposed to be QWAMOON/protector/assurer. They can very well perform this role when they have non-challenging, believing women, but as for those who are provoked in their manhood, to the extent that they are unable to maintain their task as the protector, and fear that they may not be able to obey to God in their duty as qwamoon are reminded about this 'nushuz' and to follow certain procedures that prevent them from using force. This is how I see it; otherwise to give a go-ahead to beat a woman, perhaps the mother of your child, is not in line with other passages where man and woman are given equal rights and respect.
      Men are told that the wives are as their tilths and many people take this to mean that they are simply for the menial task of passing on man?s seed. This, IMO, is a wrong understanding, as the tilth, the tilled land, is a farmer?s most precious possession that he protects and nurtures , averting any harm to it, as from his tilth grows his livelihood. Similarly, as expected of a qwamoon over nisa, a man should strive to live in love and tranquillity with his most treasured companion, his wife and vice versa.
      peace

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      • D Offline
        D Offline
        drfazl
        wrote on last edited by
        #49

        Salaam,

        Men are told that the wives are as their tilths and many people take this to mean that they are simply for the menial task of passing on man?s seed. This, IMO, is a wrong understanding, as the tilth, the tilled land, is a farmer?s most precious possession that he protects and nurtures , averting any harm to it, as from his tilth grows his livelihood. Similarly, as expected of a qwamoon over nisa, a man should strive to live in love and tranquillity with his most treasured companion, his wife and vice versa.
        peace

        farida,

        Any God Blessed true mumin will have the same meaning to the ayat; and one more important thing to be explored in the ayat is that they must go to them in just manner that Allah had admonished. None cares to know what this admonition is. Since with monthly periods Allah purifies a woman, it is mandatory upon the husband to complete certain norms before he nears his purified wife like he is newly wedded. So it is incumbent upon a person to give the dowry before he touches her as had given her for the first time when he got married to her.

        Peace,

        .

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        • R Offline
          R Offline
          Rami
          wrote on last edited by
          #50

          Peace,

          OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

          Peace.

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          • F Offline
            F Offline
            farida
            wrote on last edited by
            #51

            Peace,

            OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

            Peace.

            Salaam Rami,

            Violence against the weaker party is a problem in all societies, regardless of religion, education or social background. Many men, consumed with anger regularly abuse their physical advantage over nisa and brutally injure and even kill women. It is a kind of addiction, not a loss of love or a desire to divorce, but just sheer violence. This situation calls for detailed studies and therapy for the parties involved.
            My understanding is the two, time-consuming hurdles should be given more attention than the beating part, as this would require more than a day to arrive at the third stage. In the meantime both parties are given the chance to reflect on the situation, lessening chance of addiction to control and of course anger would cool down. During this period there is no way that nushuz could be continued, as there is a break in the build up of aggression.
            If the pattern is again repeated the process only needs to start from the beginning and the beating (third) stage would never arrive, as each action would need new set of process to start from stage one. Like Alf-Leila (thousand and one nights) how Sherezade managed to avert her killing hmm

            peace

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            • WakasW Offline
              WakasW Offline
              Wakas
              wrote on last edited by
              #52

              Peace,

              OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

              Peace.

              Really?

              http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=13171.75

              All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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              • P Offline
                P Offline
                Pseudo
                wrote on last edited by
                #53

                OK, the verse says to beat not to abandon or leave, if so it should have said "idribu anfusakum 3anhon"(strike yourselves away from them). Read your Quran boys.

                No Quran would and does say exactly waohjuroohunna to mean ?and abandon them?

                To understand waidriboohunna ?and ignore/show them? it is necessary to understand idriboohu

                273

                Not about beating people with a dead cow?s hoof or tail.

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                • R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rami
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #54

                  Really?

                  http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=13171.75

                  Yes Sir.

                  No Quran would and does say exactly waohjuroohunna to mean and abandon them

                  To understand waidriboohunna and ignore/show them it is necessary to understand idriboohu

                  273

                  Not about beating people with a dead cows hoof or tail.

                  273 talks about hitting the corpse with parts of the cow.

                  Peace.

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                  • D Offline
                    D Offline
                    drfazl
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #55

                    Yes Sir.

                    273 talks about hitting the corpse with parts of the cow.

                    Peace.

                    Do not mix 2 71 with 2 72 and 2 73
                    2 72 and 73 are entirely different subject and are independent of 2 71

                    Peace,

                    .

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                    • R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Rami
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #56

                      Do not mix 2 71 with 2 72 and 2 73
                      2 72 and 73 are entirely different subject and are independent of 2 71

                      Peace,

                      .

                      OK. So what is the true meaning of 273??

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                      • P Offline
                        P Offline
                        Pseudo
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #57

                        OK. So what is the true meaning of 273??

                        273
                        Faqulna idriboohu bibaAAdiha kathalika yuhyee Allahu almawta wayureekum ayatihi laAAallakum taAAqiloona

                        So We said "give/show/hit with some/part of it." Like that God revives/makes alive the dead and He shows you His signs/verses/examples, maybe you understand/comprehend.

                        Not about or like the absurd Jewish ritual to sprinkle burnt reddish cow ash-water on those who touched a corpse in order to purify them. To give/show or ?hit you? with another example

                        4358
                        Waqaloo aalihatuna khayrun am huwa ma daraboohu laka illa jadalan bal hum qawmun khasimoona

                        And they said "Are our gods better or He?" They did not give it (the question/objection) to you except arguing, but they are a nation disputing.

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                        • S Offline
                          S Offline
                          Samia
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #58

                          Shall We then turn away the Message from you and repel (you), for that ye are a people transgressing beyond bounds?

                          (5)

                          (Taken from Wakas link)

                          The object here is the "dhikr " . Rephrasing "afa nadhribul thikra 3ankum " Shlall we turn away the dhikr from you. The preposition is not for the thikr (which is turned away) but for "you ". Clearly dharaba here means turn away nadhribul thikra turn the dhikr away; 3ankum from you

                          ( I did not respond to the original message then because at the time I was in Sudan without internet connection)
                          Thanks Wakas for bringing up this link.

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                          • D Offline
                            D Offline
                            drfazl
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #59

                            OK. So what is the true meaning of 273??

                            2 72 Remember you slew a man and fell into a dispute as to the crime But Allah was to expose what you did hide.

                            2 73 So We said "Strike him with a portion of it." Thus Allah brings the dead alive and shows you His Signs so that you may understand

                            In the present world we see people slaying each other and then they dispute and deny the crime. But when the appointed time arrives for the killer he shall be exposed.

                            Now the order and justice from Allah is that it is blood for blood; and there is life for you in avenging justly; but if you forgive, then it is pardon for your own sins. Thus from taking revenge justly as Allah had ordained, to forgiving the crime, there is a range of punishment that could be exercised on the guilty ; 2 73 So We said "Strike him with a portion of the crime he had done." Thus Allah saves the lives of the people from the deadly community and shows you His Signs so that you may understand!

                            Salam.

                            .

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                            • R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Rami
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #60

                              Peace all,

                              I will take this debate to the opposite direction, how can I modify the verse so it means BEAT THEM without adding a tool for hitting??

                              Peace,

                              Rami

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                              • WakasW Offline
                                WakasW Offline
                                Wakas
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #61

                                peace all,

                                Background reading from www.quranx.com

                                Asad 273 We said "Apply this to some of those in this way God saves lives from death and shows you His will, so that you might use your reason.

                                Muhammad Asad - End Note 57 (273)
                                The phrase idribuhu bi-ba'diha can be literally translated as "strike him with something of her " -and this possibility has given rise to the fanciful assertion by many commentators that the children of Israel were commanded to strike the corpse of the murdered man with some of the flesh of the sacrificed cow, whereupon he was miraculously restored to life and pointed out his murderer! Neither the Qur'an, nor any saying of the Prophet, nor even the Bible offers the slightest warrant for this highly imaginative explanation, which must, therefore, be rejected-quite apart from the fact that the pronoun hu in idribuhu has a masculine gender, while the noun nafs (here translated as "human being&quot is feminine in gender from which it follows that the imperative idribuhu cannot possibly refer to nafs. On the other hand, the verb daraba (lit., "he struck&quot is very often used in a figurative or metonymic sense, as, for instance, in the expression daraba fi 'l-ard ("he journeyed on earth&quot, or daraba 'sh-shay' bi'sh-shay' ("he mixed one thing with another thing&quot, or daraba mathal ("he coined a similitude" or "propounded a parable" or "gave an illustration&quot, or ala darb wahid ("similarly applied" or "in the same manner&quot, or duribat alayhim adh-dhillah ("humiliation was imposed on them" or "applied to them&quot, and so forth. Taking all this into account, I am of the opinion that the imperative idribuhu occurring in the above Qur'anic passage must be translated as "apply it" or "this" (referring, in this context, to the principle of communal responsibility). As for the feminine pronoun ha in ba'diha ("some of it&quot, it must necessarily relate to the nearest preceding feminine noun-that is, to the nafs that has been murdered, or the act of murder itself about which (fiha) the community disagreed. Thus, the phrase idribuhu bi-ba'diha may be suitably rendered as "apply this to some of those " for it is obvious that the principle of communal responsibility for murder by a person or persons unknown can be applied only to some and not to all such cases.

                                Muhammad Asad - End Note 58 (273)
                                Lit., "God gives life to the dead and shows you His messages" (i.e., He shows His will by means of such messages or ordinances). The figurative expression "He gives life to the dead" denotes the saving of lives, and is analogous to that in 532 . In this context it refers to the prevention of bloodshed and the killing of innocent persons (Manar I, 351), be it through individual acts of revenge, or in result of an erroneous judicial process based on no more than vague suspicion and possibly misleading circumstantial evidence.

                                QXP 273 We said, Apply the law to such cases of unsolved murder. This is how God gives life to the dead. And He expounds His messages for you to use your common sense.

                                Shabbir Ahmed - End Note 56 (273)
                                There is life for you in the law of Just Recompense. A law that deters murder and, thus, saves lives, in fact, gives you life 2179. The Mosaic law, according to the Bible, ordains the sacrifice of a cow in cases of unsolved murder. The elders of the town wash their hands and say Our hands have not shed this blood, nor have our eyes seen it. The community is then absolved of the collective responsibility (Deuteronomy 211-9). In this particular instance the mystery was solved and the murderer was identified

                                All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                                • S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Scheherezade
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #62

                                  Peace Salim,

                                  If peace means injusice, so Islam is against peace. Only religions without principle will sell justice for peace. Beating of the wives is only a punishment for disobedience and rebellion, nothing more nothing less. And anyone who will beat his wife out of this context and without performing the two procedures before this, then he has wronged himself and must repent.

                                  Peace,

                                  Rami

                                  There is nothing there about beating anyone. It's all in the minds of the men who interpreted and translated this verse. When one reads the verse following it, it becomes apparent that the man and woman are being told to temporarily separate from each other. This time alone would give them an opportunity to reflect on their actions and decide whether it is best to stay together or permanently separate. Beatings, no matter how ?light,? serve no purpose other than to make the wife hate the husband.

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                                  • S Offline
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                                    Scheherezade
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #63

                                    I have read the Torah and Bible and now am in the process of reading the Quran. To believe in their truth, one must believe in all that is written in them. So far I am not convinced that any of them come from God since they all discriminate against women and place women in a subordinate role. I can?t possibly believe in something that discriminates against me or says that I should be beaten if I don?t ?obey? another human being. This places the wife under the authority of her husband. Critics of Islam and of this particular verse claim that this translation places the man as master and woman as slave. I was surprised to see it in the Quran since quite a few times I have heard Muslim men talk about how Islam promotes equality between men and women.

                                    My sister says this as well, claiming that some verses about women are incorrectly translated and so-called scholars who don?t like women much refuse to let go of old interpretations even when the real meaning is crystal clear.

                                    So now I ask you ladies and gentlemen, if they are incorrectly translated why do they still remain unchanged? She reads this forum and told me that many of you also claim that the translation of 434 is not entirely correct. The Quran on three different websites had the traditional translation. I went to the library and checked that verse in the two books I found, same translation. It is this particular verse that the critics of Islam point to here in the US, noting that how can this be a ?religion of peace? when it encourages domestic violence? It doesn?t matter if it?s as a last resort or if it?s ?light,? it?s still violence and beating someone is certainly not a peaceful way to solve a problem.

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                                    • S Offline
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                                      Scheherezade
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #64

                                      Wakas, I'm not sure if you realize this but the link in your signature to StudyQuran.co.uk contains the traditional translation of Surah 4, Verse 34 which states husbands have the right to beat their wives (if they are disobedient). Do you agree with this translation?

                                      1. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance) For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

                                      2. If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.

                                      I don?t see how this verse has anything to do with ?refusing to share their beds? or ?beating them.? It doesn?t make any sense. As I mentioned above, when one reads the verse following it, it becomes clear that the man and woman are being told to temporarily separate from each other so that they may reflect on their actions and decide whether it is best to stay together or permanently separate.

                                      In my opinion, the entire verse is badly translated and in desperate need of a rewrite.

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                                      • WakasW Offline
                                        WakasW Offline
                                        Wakas
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #65

                                        peace Scheherezade,

                                        StudyQuran is a resource site, and contains about 30 different English translations, some of which translate it as "beat" and some which do not. No translation represents StudyQuran.

                                        Do you agree with this translation?

                                        No. If all goes to plan, this issue will be better clarified in another project currently being worked on.

                                        All information is correct to the best of my knowledge only and thus should not be taken as a fact. One should always seek knowledge and verify for themselves when possible: 17:36, 20:114, 35:28, 49:6, 58:11.

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                                        • J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          jonny_k
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #66

                                          Peace "farida",

                                          Peace Jonny
                                          No I am not insane, I want men to control themselves as I believe the surah in question is actully asking men to take steps to curb their anger. No matter what brother Edip says the majority of cowardly people will always believe that they have been given license to hit woman. They need to understand that this ayah is reminding men who are in rage and are about to hit woman to first go through two vital steps which would involve time and effort. This would cool things down and the final stage of lifting hand to strike will never arrive.

                                          JK- If itll never arrive then WHY WLD GOD EVEN MENTION IT? Thts the qs. Why would GOD even so much as mention tht as a final stage men cld beat their wives? Im sorry but this doesnt make any sense at all. The only logical solution is tht the term's falsely translated which bro Edip has shown that it is. GOD Bless!

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