LEAVING MY FAMILY
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Salam to All,
Thank you very much for advising me. I think i'm going to leave them but keeping in touch.
God bless you.
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Hi,
My family are TOTALLY against the QURAN.No change since 2007.
They prefer sunnism and they think that I am (but I AM NOT).I keep it secret to avoid problems.Now I would leave them (definitely).
Did somebody already live the same situation ?
Please adviseMay God bless you and peace.
Oh, this is a very touchy issue. Be very careful about this. Keeping your views to yourself could be a good idea. Test the waters first and then see how they react. The problem with religion discussions is that they can become very heated and lose their purpose. Anyways being Sunni won't take to you hell necessarily.
It is much better to communicate these ideas to active people in the net then jst family members. Remember its a Koranist goal to guide all of mankind. Its always better to communicate with people who will remain active. The net is the best place for something like that. My parents also are Sunnis and I let them know that I don't agree with them on many things. But I still avoid religious discussion with them.
Another thing is that people have ear of something they do not know about especially when they are ignorant about the issues surrounding it. Most Muslims have no understanding of Sunni Islam yet follow it anyways. People like this fear getting into discussions since they have no knowledge to counter.
I I were you I would keep most of my views to myself. As the Koranist persuasions grows more people will hear about it and feel more comfortable with it. But for now its tricky.
There is a very good article from Gamal Banna that is a good opener. Its talks the general problems with hadiths and how it can contradict the Koran. Its in Arabic however. My parents actually liked that article. He is not a koranist but is the closest thing to it.
Sunni refromist is usually a good way to start with conservative Sunnis rather than straight to the Koranist way.
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Peace,
There is no need.
Fair enough if your family reject the truth entirely - that is to say if they believe that there is no judgement, that they are wandering purposeless, that evil has no consequence, then by all means get away!
However they could be striving to surrender to ALLAH as best they can through the way they have learnt. If they are truly seeking the truth then it's a different story.
Don't let the language/knowledge barrier disunite your family. If both of you are serving ALLAH then there is no cause for discord. If you are serving "Quranism" and they are serving "Sunnism" then there will be war between "Quranism" and "Sunnism" in your house and there may be real life casualties!
Lose all isms and surrender. If Moses could live in Firon's palace, what stops you?
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Peace,
There is no need.
Fair enough if your family reject the truth entirely - that is to say if they believe that there is no judgement, that they are wandering purposeless, that evil has no consequence, then by all means get away!
However they could be striving to surrender to ALLAH as best they can through the way they have learnt. If they are truly seeking the truth then it's a different story.
Don't let the language/knowledge barrier disunite your family. If both of you are serving ALLAH then there is no cause for discord. If you are serving "Quranism" and they are serving "Sunnism" then there will be war between "Quranism" and "Sunnism" in your house and there may be real life casualties!
Lose all isms and surrender. If Moses could live in Firon's palace, what stops you?
I agree. They probably do Sunni rituals. But they are still believers. We are against Sunni Islam and not Sunnis.
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I agree. They probably do Sunni rituals. But they are still believers. We are against Sunni Islam and not Sunnis.
We are against falsehood and rejectors of the truth not Sunni Islam. The distinction may not seem like much but these two realities are worlds apart. Where Sunni Islam is false, be against that. But as long as there is a speck of truth in "Sunni Islam", you would be totally unjust to be against that itself.
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Peace Kindness
We really do not know your full story, just the small excerpt you gave us. Only you truly know whether you will be safe remaining in your family's home, and what the entire situation is.
I left my "home", even though I never thought of it as a home about 4 years ago. Home is where you are supposed to feel safe, and I was not getting that. It had nothing to do with sunnism/quranism or anything like that. I didn't even make a big spectacle out of moving. Just got admission in a university in a different town, and paid for it myself too, so they would not have any hold on me at all. When I moved out, I started to withdraw myself from them on an emotional level too, just one phone call every 2 weeks or so, telling them as minimal as I could about my life.
When I on a very definite level, abandoned Sunnism, it never occurred to me to even tell my parents, I had gotten so used to not discussing my life that it did not even seem un-natural.
Now 4 years later, I can say that I am very happy I moved out, and distanced myself from them, there was no way I would have healed if I had stayed in that toxic environment. I regret not making a bigger spectacle out of everything, as sometimes I feel they have absolutely no clue as to the amount of hurt they caused me, and how much their choices still affect my life. They are times when I am sad that they don't really know who I am, but at the same time, if I open myself up to them, they will be giving me a list of things that is wrong with me, so its a pretty stale-mate situation. And also being in university was great, but it isn't like I have found a permanent "home" yet. You can only be a wanderer for so long before it starts to get to you.
So in the end its your decision to make, you have to decide whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, but from someone that has gone through it, the advice I can give you, don't go into it thinking its going to be a 100% positive experience. Reconciliation is always better than cutting off ties.
Kukumber
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Thank you very much for advising me. I think i'm going to leave them but keeping in touch.
Salaam Kindness,
I hope I am not late in responding.
Please don't leave you parents/home, I know that what you are facing is unknown to us but believe in Allah and ask Him for help, remember! He is the all Listener and Knower.
Don't rush and don't take any decision by yourself but I suggest you to ask Allah to make you take decision whatever is best for you. If you can't then take a look at your screen name on free-minds.org
Then take time before you decide anything. See what Allah guides you to.
May Allah help you in all situations, bless you with happiness & peace and guide us all to His only true path. pr
Mohammed M. Khan -
I will tell you that, if they persecute you, say Peace and leave, as i've tried to reconcile with mine and every time it did not work out. And expect the Best, because if you immigrate in the sake of God, God will take care of you!
learn From my experiance (I ran away from home 5 times, 3 times because of me wanting to uphold the Quran alone and not to associate with God). (Yeah, I jumped out the 2nd floor window, fled to another state and even stayed on the streets for about a month!) And let me tell you, God took care of me all this time, and I'm thankful that i did all of that in the sake of God! (Now i live with a neighbor and praise be to God, i have everything i need and want!)
Praise be to the good lord God who fulfills his words !
"Anyone who emigrates in the cause of GOD will find on earth great bounties and richness..." (Quran 4100)"If anyone thinks that God cannot support him in this life and in the Hereafter, let him turn completely to (his Creator in) heaven, and sever (his dependence on anyone else). He will then see that this plan eliminates anything that bothers him" (Quran 2215)
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http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXDy1gVcWCc
This may help, although it is directed towards Atheists/Agnostics.
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http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXDy1gVcWCc
This may help, although it is directed towards Atheists/Agnostics.
I like the closing quote "Actions are more important than beliefs".
It reminds me of "Dharmic" teachings.. which follows the same principle.. given "Dharma" is a sanskrit word for "action/deed".Salam / PEace
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Peace Naziha,
. It reminds me of that popular viral video of that boy telling his mother he's no longer a Christian and that he is an atheist, and her response was, "Well then guess what?! You're not getting anything for Christmas!". It's all they can say. They never knew religion, it's just a big point system via lip-service and traditional rituals for them. It's actually an amazing view of psychology and how religion can indeed be very harmful.
;D