How to overcome the sin of lust/temptation
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Peace huruf and everyone,
Are you implying that you have spoken in a secret language that only some readers have understood? Can you tell all of us (in a honest/straighthforward way) what you did meant?
I think you are right/correct when you say that there is nothing wrong with pleasure and that pleasure is a requirement for health. It seems that pleasure is a natural sensation which our body uses to encourage us to do things that are good for us (e.g. eating nutritious food). Thus, it seems that pleasure serves its purpose. But is pleasure a means to an end, or an end in itself? This question is worth pondering upon, in my opinion.
From my understanding of Al-Quran, pleasure is not haram (forbidden). And from my understanding of AQ, getting pleasure is not incompatible with the teachings of this divine/sacred book. That being said, the Quran seems to suggest that one should get pleasure only in a moderate way. From my knowledge, even water which is good for our bodies, can become dangerous if it's not used in moderation. There have been incidents where people have become hospitalized because they drank too much water.
As mentioned earlier, water is good for our bodies. But if we misuse water, it can be bad for us. Perhaps the same goes for pleasure. I think that there is a difference between getting pleasure (as a means to an end) or pursuing pleasure (as an end in itself). There are several verses in AQ which seem to suggest that the "pursuit of pleasure" is incompatible with the teachings of the Quran (see this post).
There might be sex in the next life (aka Paradise). Have you find any Quranic verses which suggest that there is sex in Paradise? If you have found any verse which explicitly states that there is sex in paradise, please share it in a post in this thread.
Are you referring to sex between a husband and wife? Or are you referring to sex outside of marriage?
Taro, please, I am not handing out any certificates of undertanding such as a diploma orsomething, it was amere recognition That I felt somereaders did get my idea. If you have seen in it more thna tht I congratulate you for seeing a lot, because I myself do not see it and did not see it.
I think you are right/correct when you say that there is nothing wrong with pleasure and that pleasure is a requirement for health. It seems that pleasure is a natural sensation which our body uses to encourage us to do things that are good for us (e.g. eating nutritious food). Thus, it seems that pleasure serves its purpose. But is pleasure a means to an end, or an end in itself? This question is worth pondering upon, in my opinion.
From my understanding of Al-Quran, pleasure is not haram (forbidden). And from my understanding of AQ, getting pleasure is not incompatible with the teachings of this divine/sacred book. That being said, the Quran seems to suggest that one should get pleasure only in a moderate way. From my knowledge, even water which is good for our bodies, can become dangerous if it's not used in moderation. There have been incidents where people have become hospitalized because they drank too much water.
Is the pleasure of seeing those we love and have not seen for a long time a means to an end or an end in itself?
Do ask that yourself when you arrange for the visit, when you look forward to it, when you are happy with anticipation?
If seeing your (I mean any person) dear ones is not conflicting with any other worthy aim you do not even think about it. If it was in conflict with another pursuit or need or obligation of yours then you would weight everything, every aspect of the questions and ponder as to what would be the most appropriate.
So we could do with evrything we pursue in our lives, and so it would be with any particular pleasure. It is a beautiful night, neither hot not cold, beautiful stars, beautiful sinlence broken only by the ocassional dog here and there, the be the owls, nd you take walk, the decision to take the walk makes such a walk a means or an end?
There are several verses in AQ which seem to suggest that the "pursuit of pleasure" is incompatible with the teachings of the Quran (see this post).
You must choose what word you are choosing for what. In all the ayas you mentione the word pleasure in english, when you go to the Qur'an, only in one there is the root r-D-y, in all the others the root used is t-r-f, which usually translates as luxury.
I won't be saying anything new to you if I say that luxury and pleasure are not by any strtch synonims. Take the walk by starlight I mention, no luxury, no need for anything expensive, just taking the opportunity and enjoy. No expenses, no standing, no need to be attended by anybody unless you are desable and depend on somebody for things like that... But undoubtedly it is a mighty pleasure. Pleasure an spending are not necessary linked.
So you quote the aya of God giving us good in this world and in the next.
You ask you to quote an aya where God speak about sex in the hereafter... I did mention all those ayas where company assorted company is spoken of... You are free to make of them whatever you want. Just as you are free to make of the wine and the fruits mentionned for paradise whatever you want. But the Qur'an does say without pointing to anything in particular that those blessed with paradise will say omething to the effect we have tasted that before...
We do not know how it will be, but if we think that fusion abandonment with anoher human being is a blessing should we straight out think that that or something in whih we recognize it will not be tasted in Paradise?
Can you quote an aya which says that we will not taste anything that bings us back the pleasure of fusion and abandonment with another human being?
If you (any person) feel that sex is a gift from God and a mithaq ghaliTh then whoever it is it must be your consort before God. And if you say you have a consort and you do not feel that you are contracting with her a mithaq ghalith, then it is not your consort before God and you are making a big, big lie.
Salaam
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Well said huruf.
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Peace huruf and everyone,
Taro, please, I am not handing out any certificates of undertanding such as a diploma orsomething, it was amere recognition That I felt somereaders did get my idea. If you have seen in it more thna tht I congratulate you for seeing a lot, because I myself do not see it and did not see it.
Well, I did not get your idea. And perhaps others didn't get it neither. So what is your idea? You are saying that you felt that some readers did get your idea. Can you explain your idea in a short and simple/easy way so that all of us can get your idea?
Is the pleasure of seeing those we love and have not seen for a long time a means to an end or an end in itself?
Do ask that yourself when you arrange for the visit, when you look forward to it, when you are happy with anticipation?
If seeing your (I mean any person) dear ones is not conflicting with any other worthy aim you do not even think about it. If it was in conflict with another pursuit or need or obligation of yours then you would weight everything, every aspect of the questions and ponder as to what would be the most appropriate.
You are creating a straw man argument (see the quote below).
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I think that there is a difference between getting pleasure (as a means to an end) or pursuing pleasure (as an end in itself).
When I said the above, I said that the pursuit of pleasure is an end in itself. But I NEVER said that getting pleasure is NEVER an end to itself. Let me repeat that one more time I never said that getting pleasure is never an end to itself. Also, I said that "I think" that there is a difference between getting pleasure (as a means to an end)... I didn't say that "I know" that there is a difference between getting pleasure (as a means to an end). Hence I did not made an absolute statement. There is a difference between "I think", and "I know." Keep that in mind.
So we could do with evrything we pursue in our lives, and so it would be with any particular pleasure. It is a beautiful night, neither hot not cold, beautiful stars, beautiful sinlence broken only by the ocassional dog here and there, the be the owls, nd you take walk, the decision to take the walk makes such a walk a means or an end?
Well, I did NOT say that pleasure is NEVER an end in itself. However, I have asked the following question in my previous post
But is pleasure a means to an end, or an end in itself? This question is worth pondering upon, in my opinion.
As you can see in the question above, I did not say that pleasure is NEVER a means to an end. This is a fact. Hence your question is not relevant, in my opinion.
You must choose what word you are choosing for what. In all the ayas you mentione the word pleasure in english, when you go to the Qur'an, only in one there is the root r-D-y, in all the others the root used is t-r-f, which usually translates as luxury.
Have you used Classical Arabic dictionaries when you studied the root of ta ra fa (t-r-f)? Because it seems like you did not. It seems that you have only used corpus quran. But correct me if I am wrong (and please provide the meaning of t-r-f from Classical arabic dictionaries). That being said, you might be right regarding the word luxury being the "right translation" of that word in all the verses except in one of the verses (that I had shared in my post). However, I think one should have evidence from Classical Arabic dictionaries and read every word occurrence (i.e. cross-reference) before one takes a stance regarding this issue.
Even if the "pursuit of pleasures" is not incompatible with the teachings of the Quran, this doesn't mean that the "pursuit of pleasure" is a good thing, in my opinion. There are some people that hunt for fun. They don't hunt in order to bring food home to their families. The Quran don't explicitly state that hunting for fun is wrong. But this doesn't suggest that hunting for fun is not wrong. Because the Quran suggests that if something runs counter to reason it is incompatible with the teachings of the Quran (see verse 1690).
Quran 1690 BEHOLD, God enjoins justice, and the doing of good, and generosity towards fellow-men; and He forbids all that is shameful and all that runs counter to reason, as well as envy; He exhorts you so that you might bear in mind.
Keep in mind that I haven't said that getting pleasure is a bad thing or incompatible with the teachings of the Quran. I think that there is a difference between getting pleasure and choosing the "pursuit of pleasure" as a lifestyle.
Quran 4523 Have you seen the one who took his desire as his god, and God led him astray, despite his knowledge, and He sealed his hearing and his heart, and He made a veil on his eyes? Who then can guide him after God? Will you not remember?
Quran 4117-120 In His stead, they invoke only life?less symbols - thus invoking none but a rebellious Satan whom God has rejected for having said, "Verily, of Thy servants I shall most certainly take my due share, and shall lead them astray, and fill them with vain desires; and I shall command them - and they will cut off the ears of cattle ; and I shall command them - and they will corrupt God's creation!" But all who take Satan rather than God for their master do indeed, most clearly, lose all he holds out promises to them, and fills them with vain desires yet whatever Satan promises them is but meant to delude the mind.
You ask you to quote an aya where God speak about sex in the hereafter... I did mention all those ayas where company assorted company is spoken of... You are free to make of them whatever you want. Just as you are free to make of the wine and the fruits mentionned for paradise whatever you want. But the Qur'an does say without pointing to anything in particular that those blessed with paradise will say omething to the effect we have tasted that before...
Does the Quran explicitly state that we have tasted that before regarding sex? Yes or no?
Quran 225 And give good news to those who believe and do good works that they will have estates with rivers flowing beneath them. Every time they receive a provision of its fruit, they say "This is what we have been provisioned before," and they are given its likeness. And there they will have pure mates, and in it they will abide.
We do not know how it will be, but if we think that fusion abandonment with anoher human being is a blessing should we straight out think that that or something in whih we recognize it will not be tasted in Paradise?
The notion that there is sex in paradise, might be a fact. But we can only guess/assume, in my opinion. We can not know now for sure. Because there are NO quranic verses which explicitly state that there will be sex in the paradise.
Can you quote an aya which says that we will not taste anything that bings us back the pleasure of fusion and abandonment with another human being?
No. Because there are no quranic verses which explicitly state that there will NOT be sex in the paradise. Also, there are no quranic verses which explicitly state that there WILL be sex in the paradise. This is a FACT.
If you (any person) feel that sex is a gift from God and a mithaq ghaliTh then whoever it is it must be your consort before God. And if you say you have a consort and you do not feel that you are contracting with her a mithaq ghalith, then it is not your consort before God and you are making a big, big lie.
Well, I have never said that sex is not a gift from our creator and not a mithaq ghalith. If you think that I feel that sex is not a gift from God and a mithaq ghaliTh, then PROVIDE evidence which can support your claim. No offense intended huruf. But I think that one needs to get ones facts straight (that includes me). We should do our best to be objective and impartial, in my opinion.
FACT I have never said that sex is a bad thing in any of my posts in FM.
For all you know, I might believe that sex is a blessing and a very good thing if it's done inside of a marriage (between a husband and a wife). The muslim scholar/thinker G.A. Parwez suggests that sex is only for procreation (a higher purpose). But the muslim scholar/thinker Ziauddin Sardar suggests that a husband and wife can have sex (without intending to procreate). Is G.A Parwez right or Ziauddin Sardar? I don't know. And I haven't taken a stance regarding this issue yet. That being said, there seems to be a clue in a few verses regarding the Quranic stance on sex (see verse 2223 and 2187).
I asked you a question in my previous post. But you have not answered it yet. Perhaps you forgot to answer it. So let me ask that question one more time.
Are you referring to sex between a husband and wife? Or are you referring to sex outside of marriage?
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Well, I did not get your idea. And perhaps others didn't get it neither. So what is your idea? You are saying that you felt that some readers did get your idea. Can you explain your idea in a short and simple/easy way so that all of us can get your idea?
I did elaboragte it further bur it seems that it was of no vail to you and I do not think I can explain it any better.
Are you referring to sex between a husband and wife? Or are you referring to sex outside of marriage?
I was referring to sex full stop.
If you need at all cost to fill in the rest, I will not do that. If people do not consider that sex with another person is sacred, I do not think that adding the magical word "marriage" would moraly or spiritually add to them.
Legally of course, and usually mostly for the woman's sake and from the human legal point of view, she better take all precautions so that she is not taken advantage of, such as getting the proper Saduqat from the bridegroom.
Salaam
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If people do not consider that sex with another person is sacred, I do not think that adding the magical word "marriage" would moraly or spiritually add to them.
Legally of course, and usually mostly for the woman's sake and from the human legal point of view, she better take all precautions so that she is not taken advantage of, such as getting the proper Saduqat from the bridegroom.
Which brings forth another question what is marriage? Are arranged marriages and child marriages considered marriage? Just because some ritual took place, people ate together and imams/priests/rabbis showed up and executed the marriage, it somehow becomes a marriage? I believe marriage is the exact opposite of what it is considered. Quran keeps mentioning wife all day. Wife wife wife and wife. Adam had a wife according to Quran. Did any ritual take place for that to happen? Was there any imams, priests or rabbis present when adam got married to his wife? Was there any parties? Did adam sign any papers?
Marriage is simply a loving, peaceful, fair and long-term relationship between a man and a woman. If any these qualities are missing in a supposed marriage, then that is not a marriage. Just a stupid religious/cultural ritual. The connection needs to go both ways. You might fall in love with a person but if that person has no connection to you, then you simply cannot start a relationship. You will have to find someone you are compatible with. In arrange marriages and child marriages,this isn't the case.
It is all about money and family name. If the man in an arranged marriage has sex with this so called wife, then that is rape. It's isn't marriage.You cannot get married to several women either. Think of marriage as a series circuit. The circuit must be complete, in other words, you must be connected to each other. You cannot attempt to add another wife to this equation or else you'll break it.
Any abuse or dishonesty you inflict to your spouse breaks this circuit hence the marriage is void. It is a fine equation. This is marriage. A circuit that can only be made by the Creator.The Creator has gifted this equation/circuit with something called sex. This is the only time sex is permissible. This restriction was not made because the GOD is a dictator but for our own good. If you eat too much what happens? Obesity, diabetes, heart disease etc. We can benefit from The GOD's gifts or we can destroy ourselves with it. It is entirely up to us, in other words, free will.
I believe marriage has been hijacked by religion and culture. Marriage has been completely misunderstood. This magical word "marriage" does nothing but give an illusion to justify oppression and corruption. It does not make sex good, bad, dirty or sinful. When sex is taken out of this perfect equation, it becomes useless and harmful to both parties,both the oppressor and the victim. I'm not saying all couples who got married have their marriages void. It all depends on what was in their hearts. Only The Creator can see into their hearts and may determine whether or not this is a proper connection/equation AKA marriage.
Religious and cultural rituals have no value to The GOD. We need to put sex back to where it belongs, to this perfect equation/connection that only The GOD can make. Signing a piece of paper or having a priest, imam or rabbi does not create this perfect connection/equation AKA marriage. It does not make sex valid. Only The GOD can make that.Now we can ask ourselves, what is sex? is it dirty and sinful? Is it a bad and shameful desire? Do we get it in paradise? I think you can all answer those questions.
Peace
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Taro, you seem to assume that I am refuting something. I am not. I am not interested at all in refuting anything, whether with a man or with a straw or with anything else. I could not care less.
I bring up something I think may make sense. If it makes sense to you, good. If it does not, never mind. Nothing is lost.
But I am not interested in refuting anything at all whether it be you or any other. You want to win the argument, I really don't care. I do not get paid for winning arguments nor I am punished for not winning them. My ego is quite satisfactorily healthy and I am too fond of comfort to let anyhting like an argument for winning o loosing to spoil my day. There are enough real problems I am worried about to bother suffering about arguments.
I suppose you that you want to be thorough, proceed methodically and safely and of course that is praiseworthy.
However I don't think in these kind of questions one can be thorough in that way. People are all diffrent and at different stages in their journey through life, with different experiences. A text in any language when going through to another and through diffrent minds has to many possibilities of not behaving "methodically".
There is no absolutely abstract knowledge. All knowledge goes back to our ability to acknowledge it as such knowledge, to grasp it as something that brings light where there was none. We, most people are not magic lanterns that you push a button and glow.
Sometimes, or many times, we have to make our way in the dark and touch here and there, break our noses against something we did not count on.
As to sex, as I see it we should take very very seriousy the question about the mithaq ghaliDh. Lust is the opposite of the mithaq ghaliDh. I would say it is tearing to pieces that mizaq ghaliDh. We should think carefully of what we do and have very much self respect. What we do with others reflects what we do with ourselves. If we do not respect ourselves, we will not respet others, same with love same with most things.
Salaam
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Peace huruf,
No hard feelings.
I think you have written some interesting and thoughtful posts in this thread. And I appreciate your efforts.
Best wishes,
Taro H.
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Ladies and gentleman,
If anyone want to discuss the topic/subject of sex further, I suggest creating a new thread or discussing the subject/topic of sex in a past thread on FM. As far as I know, there are several old threads about the topic of sex on FM. The topic/subject of this thread is How to overcome the sin of lust/temptation. The topic/subject of this thread is not sex. Let's get this thread back on topic guys.
Thanks in advance.
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Hello Invalid777,
Which brings forth another question what is marriage? Are arranged marriages and child marriages considered marriage? Just because some ritual took place, people ate together and imams/priests/rabbis showed up and executed the marriage, it somehow becomes a marriage? I believe marriage is the exact opposite of what it is considered. Quran keeps mentioning wife all day. Wife wife wife and wife. Adam had a wife according to Quran. Did any ritual take place for that to happen? Was there any imams, priests or rabbis present when adam got married to his wife? Was there any parties? Did adam sign any papers?
Marriage is an oath that you take before the Holy Spirit and God suffices as a witness. Marriage is spiritually irreversible and divorce is spiritually detrimental. There are no selfish excuses for divorce but divorce can be pronounced should it be involved "bond-breaking behavior", and the carving of the sin is on the culprit while the victim goes free. A marriage bond should not be taken lightly.
A marriage is intended to complement two souls, a man and a wo-man, and if there is no spiritual exchange between the two then the marriage is redundant.
A forced marriage is not validated, it does not carry any God-legal value, and the sinner will suffer for their misdeed, both directly and consequentially later. It may be considered a crime and "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth" applies, but for who forgives this is better. Nevertheless, the man is not bonded with the woman this way and they shall not be as one body.
Quran does not mention "wife wife wife and wife" all day, but that is because unauthorized interpreters created their own way of keeping their traditions.
The old prophetic saying "Man and woman created He them and they should cling together and become as one body" is still valid and there is no such thing as polygamy. The man is not to be separate from the woman and the woman is not to be separate from the man. They should be each other's equal, not 75% man and 25% woman but 50/50.
When you answer "Yes. I will be with you forever", then let your yes be a yes.
Marriage is simply a loving, peaceful, fair and long-term relationship between a man and a woman. If any these qualities are missing in a supposed marriage, then that is not a marriage. Just a stupid religious/cultural ritual. The connection needs to go both ways. You might fall in love with a person but if that person has no connection to you, then you simply cannot start a relationship. You will have to find someone you are compatible with. In arrange marriages and child marriages,this isn't the case.
It is all about money and family name. If the man in an arranged marriage has sex with this so called wife, then that is rape. It's isn't marriage.Eternal relationship, even as much as a soul merging, but that will not occur if either part is false and the relationship is poor, and then the couple could as well have stayed unmarried. The purpose of marriage is spiritual growth and if that does not happen then it loses its value and one may be better off alone.
Yes, you are right, the copulation is a defilement of this woman since the marriage is not valid to begin with and "eye for an eye" is granted the victim.
You cannot get married to several women either. Think of marriage as a series circuit. The circuit must be complete, in other words, you must be connected to each other. You cannot attempt to add another wife to this equation or else you'll break it.
Absolutely correct.
The merging is between two compatible souls. A Rabb and Ramm. Or Abbi and Ammi. Both have relevance. They should not exist together separately just as a person should not exist separately from the Rabb. Either merge or refrain, or fall victim to the Noor.
Any abuse or dishonesty you inflict to your spouse breaks this circuit hence the marriage is void. It is a fine equation. This is marriage. A circuit that can only be made by the Creator.The Creator has gifted this equation/circuit with something called sex. This is the only time sex is permissible. This restriction was not made because the GOD is a dictator but for our own good. If you eat too much what happens? Obesity, diabetes, heart disease etc. We can benefit from The GOD's gifts or we can destroy ourselves with it. It is entirely up to us, in other words, free will.
Correct. Sex is a programmed meeting between the souls, they may "soul dance" together if the union is befitting. Either that or the sex is of the Satan and the one or two are of lifelessness. They follow the "automation" of the "programming". Their Spirits do not emerge and grow but is blinded by the Body.
I believe marriage has been hijacked by religion and culture. Marriage has been completely misunderstood. This magical word "marriage" does nothing but give an illusion to justify oppression and corruption. It does not make sex good, bad, dirty or sinful. When sex is taken out of this perfect equation, it becomes useless and harmful to both parties,both the oppressor and the victim. I'm not saying all couples who got married have their marriages void. It all depends on what was in their hearts. Only The Creator can see into their hearts and may determine whether or not this is a proper connection/equation AKA marriage.
Religious and cultural rituals have no value to The GOD. We need to put sex back to where it belongs, to this perfect equation/connection that only The GOD can make. Signing a piece of paper or having a priest, imam or rabbi does not create this perfect connection/equation AKA marriage. It does not make sex valid. Only The GOD can make that.It has. Marriage was not at all this complicated a long time ago.
A marriage ceremony is a human sentimental procedure and has no importance to God. It may reinforce the feeling for the couple. It does not nullify any functioning marriage. The ceremony is not necessary for the couple to be married before God but a pronounced oath is sound enough. God is enough as a witness. Even without uttering an oath but with the mere intention of remaining forever and ever together is actually sufficient too. That oath is permanent and irrevocable unless either one is defiled by the other when the defiled one has the right to divorce, but not unless the other part has proven unworthy multiple times and shown repeated spiritual deficiency. One must be as forgiving as one can.
Married or not, legally or illegally, forced copulation is not allowed.
Loveless sex is of Satan i.e. the instinct but in Arabic. Satan should be avoided. The instinctive desire for a body at all is of Satan actually even if it is your spouse, but as long as it is controlled it is fine. One should not turn into the opposite and become like the sectarians who get insane in their chasing after evading Satan at the expense of their empathy and flexibility of character. The most important thing is that we are not a slave to Satan. Satan clouds our Spirit perception. Satan preoccupies our minds and this preoccupation must be dealt with. If we fight against Satan then we may fall for Satan on something else instead as a consequence without noticing.
We need to let our body be the animal it is, but under controlled forms. It easily becomes addicted to physical stimulation and this addiction is dousing the flame of the Spirit and it makes it easy for our real selves to forget. Forget who we are and how special we are. Our Spirit is better than all the the World for it comes from the Rabb's own image. We must remember the blindness that was turned over us which is our Bodies and not miss out on who we really are. We should not succumb to the created contradiction in the World but actually tend the cultivation of our Spirit as the seeds we are.
Therefore in marriage, the marriage must be more than physical pleasure or it has absolutely no value at all to a person. This marriage is for the person who desires this World and is hedonistic.
Now we can ask ourselves, what is sex? is it dirty and sinful? Is it a bad and shameful desire? Do we get it in paradise? I think you can all answer those questions.
I know it was a rhetorical question, but there is no copulation in any paradise as there are no beastly bodies but one is ethereal, and there is no paradise either but "paradise" as is their invention is here on Earth and is tagged Gehenna which is called "testing ground" by the Holy Spirit but literally and morphologically means "attachment to Body" and no more complicated, the word speaks for itself and is based on al-jinn (the Bodily). The function of Gehenna is "testing ground", thus the Holy Spirit's expression. You desire copulation because the beast likes it with its Satan but if there is no more body then this need disappears.
In fact, the sectarians invented both Paradise and Hell since there is none of them and never will. God does not work that way. People who have "died" and were successful are not dead but alive. All of them, Moses, Jesus, Abraham, David, Solomon, et cetera, they are all alive. Those who have been unsuccessful have never been born at all, dead = dead. It does not matter if they are dead or alive in a body, they are still dead.
If anyone want to discuss the topic/subject of sex further, I suggest creating a new thread or discussing the subject/topic of sex in a past thread on FM. As far as I know, there are several old threads about the topic of sex on FM. The topic/subject of this thread is How to overcome the sin of lust/temptation. The topic/subject of this thread is not sex. Let's get this thread back on topic guys.
You are right. We may return to topic. Sex is however part of lusts.
I think it is already apparent, but being mindful of who you are and where your priorities lie may help you in combating lusts.
Ah well, that was enough from me for tonight.
Be safe
Amenuel -
Peace JavaLatte and everyone,
@ Hiroshi
Do you know how to treat the root cause of lust?
Maybe you cold tell us more (explain) about it.
To me, it seems that it is possible to treat the root cause of lust and overcome the sin of lust once and for all. It seems that if someone treats the root cause of of lust, then he/she will never give in to lust by doing shameful/lewd actions/deeds (outside of commitment/marriage). Therefore, it appears that if someone treats the root cause of lust, then he/she will no longer watch sexual scenes in Hollywood movies (on purpose/intentionally) and he/she will no longer watch pictures of the opposite sex with little clothes on (on purpose/intentionally).
In my next post in this thread, I will share some paragraphs from a book that explains how to treat the root cause of lust. I will also share some of my thoughts and views/opinions regarding a paragraph from the book. In my view, "the law of cause an effect" is real/true. It seems that if one ignores the root cause of a problem, one will ignore it at ones own peril. One the other hand, if one discovers the root cause of a problem, then it seems that one can eliminate the effects of that problem. Therefore, it seems that if one discovers the root cause of lust, then one can eliminate the effects of lust (shameful/lewd actions/deeds).
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Peace everyone,
I have found/discovered another book that sheds light on the topic/subject of lust. The title of the book is The Practical Works of Richard Baxter Volume 1 A Christian Directory. The book is written by the christian theologian and writer Richard Baxter. I think that Richard Baxter's book has some interesting and insightful/enlightening information regarding the topic/subject of lust. And I think that his book complements Hamza Yusuf's book very well. Anyway, I'd like to share a few paragraphs from his book with you.
A few paragraphs from page 336-337 in the book
..Withdraw the fuel of excess and the fire of lust will itself go out; or at least this enemy must be besieged and starved out, when it cannot be conquered by storm.
...Idleness is the soil, the culture, and the opportunity of lust. The idle person goeth to school to the devil; he sets all other employment aside, that the devil may have time to teach him, and treat with him, and solicit him to evil. Do you wonder that he is thinking on lustful objects, or that he is taken up in feasting and drinking, in chambering and wantonness? why he has nothing else to do whereas a laborious, diligent person hath a body subdued and hardened against against the mollities, the effeminateness of the wanton; and a mind employed and taken up with better things. Leave thy body and mind no leisure to think of tempting, filthy objects, or to look after them. As Hierom saith, Facito aliquid operis, ul semper diabolus invenial te occupalum Be still doing some work, that the devil may always find thee busy. And do not for thy fleshly ease remit thy labour and indulge thy flesh. Rise early and go late to bed, and put thyself upon a necessity of diligence all the day undertake and engage thyself in as much business as thou art able to go through, that if thou wouldst, thou mayst not be able to give any indulgence to the flesh; for if thou be not still pressed by necessity, lust will serve itself by idleness, and the flesh will lie down if it feel not the spur therefore are the rich and idle more lustful and filthy than the poor labouring people. The same bed is the place of sloth and lust. Hear a heathen, and refuse not to imitate him. Seneca saith, No day passeth me in idleness part of the night I reserve for studies I do not purposely set myself to sleep, but yield to it when it overcometh me; and when my eyes are wearied with watching, and are falling, I hold them to their word - I had rather it went ill with me than delicately or tenderly. If thou be delicate or tender, the mind by little and little is effeminate. and dissolved into the similitude of the idleness and sloth in which it lieth. I sleep very little, and take but a short nap it sufficeth me to have ceased watching sometimes I know that I slept, sometimes I do but suspect it. Aristotle saith, Nature made nothing to be idle. And Plato calls idleness the plague of mortals. If thou be resolved to serve and please thy flesh, then never ask advice against thy lust; for it is part of the pleasure of it; and then no wonder if thou refuse this physic as too bitter, and the remedy as too dear. But if thou be resolved to be cured and to be saved, stick not at the pains give up thyself totally to thy business, and lust will die for want of food.
...If thou wouldst be free from lust, keep far enough from the tempting object. If possible, dwell not in the house with any person that thou feelest thyself endangered by; if that be not possible, avoid their company, especially in private abhor all lascivious and immodest actions. Dost thou give thyself the liberty of wanton dalliance, and lustful embracements, and yet think to be free from lust? wilt thou put thy hand into the fire, when thou art afraid of being burnt? Either thou hast the power of thy own heart, or thou hast not if thou hast, why dost thou not quench thy lust? if thou hast not, why dost thou cast it upon greater temptations, and put it further out of thy power than it is? Fly from a tempting object for thy safety, as thou wouldst fly from an enemy for thy life. These loving enemies are more dangerous than hating enemies they get the key of our hearts, and come in and steal our treasure with our consent, or without resistance; when an open enemy is suspected and shut out.
...Command thy eyes, and, as Job xxxi.1, make a covenant with them, that thou mayst not think on tempting objects shut these windows, and preservest thy heart. Gaze not upon any alluring object. A look hath kindled that fire of lust in many a heart, that hath ended in the fire of hell. It is easier to stop lust at these outward doors, than drive it out when it hath tainted the heart. If thou canst not do this much, how canst thou do more? An ungoverned eye fetcheth fire to burn the soul that should have governed it.
By the way, the second sentence in the last paragraph above, seems to be in line with two verses in Al-Quran. In verse 2430 and 2431 in AQ, it commands men and women to lower their gaze.
Quran 2430-31 Tell the acknowledging men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, for that is purer for them. God is fully aware of what you do. Tell the acknowledging women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, and that they should not show off their attraction except what is apparent, and let them cast their clothes over their cleavage. Let them not show off their attraction except to their husbands, or their fathers, or fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or the sons of their brothers, or the sons of their sisters, or their children that come after them, or those who are still their dependants, or the male servants who are without need, or the child who has not yet understood the nakedness of women. Let them not strike with their feet in a manner that reveals what they are keeping hidden of their attraction. Repent to God, all of you acknowledgers, so that you may succeed.
I think that there is a purpose/wisdom behind every commandment in Al-Quran. I don't think that the God commands us to do something without a purpose. The Quran suggests that our lord created the heavens and the earth with a purpose (see verse 3191 and 3827). Since God created the heavens and the earth with a purpose, then it seems that there must be a purpose/wisdom behind all of God's commandments as well. So what is the purpose/wisdom behind the commandment to lower ones gaze, in verse 2430-31? Is the Quran suggesting that lowering ones gaze will keep one chaste/pure ? Is the Quran suggesting that lowering ones gaze will hinder lustful emotions from appearing/developing in ones mind? If one does not lower ones gaze, can ones actions create lustful emotions in ones mind? And if lustful emotions are created in ones mind, will this lead to a state of lust? And if a state of lust appears, will the state of lust overpower ones soul/self, and sooner or later lead to lewd/shameful actions/deeds? I think that these questions are worth pondering upon.
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There are two waays to teach people one is making them hate inmoral things, the other making them love mmoral things. Teh second is preferable to the first.
So is with lust too. We should push forward what is lovable about sex rather than dwell on ugly things. Of course warning is necessary para in ordr to make real lovers of goodness the proportion of raising the good to warning about the wrong and the proportion of encouragement by rearding the good over unishing th wrong should be in favour of the first as much as possible.
What is rewarding and worth of encouragement in sex? Whatever it is it will also keep people from wandering to the wrong things.
Salaam
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There are two waays to teach people one is making them hate inmoral things, the other making them love mmoral things. Teh second is preferable to the first.
Yes. However, the human mind is more strongly motivated by avoidance of pain, than by achievement of pleasure. It's about programmed genetic mechanisms of survival.
To do anything, we need to first know WHY we should do it; there has to be a rational motivation, otherwise we simply won't do it. We have to buy into it, out of fear or out of desire.
Secondly, we need to understand how our minds work and that we are not victims. We should not work against our mind, but rather use it smartly, as an ally, to achieve our goals. We can do anything, if we really want to. But do we really want to? That's the question.
Also, we should not equate 'sin' with something evil. No need for such judgements. Sin is not something bad in itself, but rather it is something which will have negative consequences for us. If we see it like this, we can think about sin and the avoidance of sin more soberly and avoid getting down in swamps of guilt and shame.
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There are two waays to teach people one is making them hate inmoral things, the other making them love mmoral things. Teh second is preferable to the first.
"Normal" people (discounting the Psychopath which is a minority in the current human population) doesn't need to be teached about morality, they have it embedded within themselves.
http//cdn.quotesgram.com/img/49/67/581169542-religion-and-morals.jpg
They need however a discouragement to be selfish, an encouragement to lower down their ego and think about others. Basically an encouragement or a reminder to always "Treat others as you like to be treated" as "What goes around shall come around". In this context, it is towards the sex partner or (potential) sex partner (or should I say "Sex Target" or the potential result of sexual activity (which is another human being).
What is rewarding and worth of encouragement in sex? Whatever it is it will also keep people from wandering to the wrong things.
SalaamFor normal adult people, which possess an adequate dose of healthy hormones, sex doesn't need any encouragement, just like eating food or drinking water doesn't need any encouragement.
Fight or Flee, Eating and Drinking and Sex..
The three emotions / instincts are governed by the highest ordered part of the (adult) human brain.
The first two are key for the survivability of the individual while the later is key for the survivability of the species.Sexual urge rise during the teenage period until adulthood and afterwards slowly decreasing as part of the aging process. Certainly there is no need to encourage sex activity towards children or "seniors".
Yes. However, the human mind is more strongly motivated by avoidance of pain, than by achievement of pleasure. It's about programmed genetic mechanisms of survival.
Correct, as saith above, fight or flee, eating and drinking has higher priority inside the normal (adult) human brain compared to sex. Nobody will feel horny when they feel that they're in danger or they are hungry or thirsty...
And human will kill another human being whenever he or she feel that the other human being(s) brings danger to their very own existence..
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One thing though that is important is to teach kids basic stuff like respect. It's not ok when boys call girls 'whore' as a general insult. It's not OK to pinch someones bottom as a joke. Some stuff needs to be taught to children, but threatening with religious guilt and punishment is perhaps not very good.
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Peace everyone,
Many muslims (submitters/peacemakers) believe that it is important to be chaste/pure. It seems that those muslims (submitters/peacemakers) who are chaste/pure can resist temptations better than those muslims (submitter/peacemakers) who do not give much importance to the notion of chastity/purity.
I have shared some of my thoughts about the notion of chastity/purity in a post in another thread in this forum. I'd like to share a link to my post here.
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9606642.msg380517#msg380517
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One thing though that is important is to teach kids basic stuff like respect. It's not ok when boys call girls 'whore' as a general insult. It's not OK to pinch someones bottom as a joke. Some stuff needs to be taught to children, but threatening with religious guilt and punishment is perhaps not very good.
It's recommendable to teach the law of "Treat others as you would like to be treated" to kids..
Encouraging the development of "empathy" hormones within themselves.. at the early age..
Kids might not feel "pinching someone bottom" as a bad idea until they got "pinched" themselves.. thus they can learn by their own experience that it wasn't a very nice feelings to be "pinched"..Teaching or exposing them to "sadistic" things like crucifixion (like catholics often does), torture in hell etc.. must be avoided. It will discourage the growth of "empathy" hormones and it can also leave a bad marks to their future mental development.
An example from history..
Everyone knows Dracula, inspired by a real historical figure of Vlad Tepez where Tepez means "Impaler".
During his childhood year, the young Vlad was exposed to the sadistic punishment of Impalement during his childhood time in Galipoli, Ottoman kingdom (Turkey) where he commonly see the punishment of Impalement of Turkish criminals and Ottoman's "political enemy".Such sight and experience leaves a huge mark in him as such he "applied" the same very sadistic punishment back to the Turks and also his other political enemy when he has grown into an adult. Thus earned the name of "Tepez" (Impaler).
Similar story can be found in other "sadistic" historical figure such as Nero or Genghis Khan, all of them exposed and used to commonly observed many "sadistic" act during their childhood years..
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There are two waays to teach people one is making them hate inmoral things, the other making them love mmoral things. Teh second is preferable to the first.
huruf,
I couldn't agree more with you. Perhaps you will like this deep/intelligent quote by Samuel Smiles, by the way.
It must, however, be admitted that education is not enough. The clever man may be a clever rogue; and the cleverer he is, the cleverer rogue he will be. Education, therefore, must be based upon religion and morality; for education by itself will not eradicate vicious propensities. Culture of intellect has but little eflect upon moral conduct. You may see clever, educated, literary men with no conduct whatever ? wasteful, improvident, drunken, and vicious. It follows, therefore, that education must be based upon the principles of religion and morality.
In terms of lust, there is a very deep/intelligent quote by Samuel Smiles that explains/reveals one of the most, if not the most, important causes of lust. Let me also share that quote in this post.
Daniel Malthus urged his son when at college to be most diligent in the cultivation of knowledge, but he also enjoined him to pursue manly sports as the best means of keeping up the full working power of his mind, as well as of enjoying the pleasures of intellect. " Every kind of knowledge," said he, " every acquaintance with nature and art, will amuse and strengthen your mind, and I am perfectly pleased that cricket should do the same by your arms and legs ; I love to see you excel in exercises of the body, and I think myself that the better half, and much the most agreeable part, of the pleasures of the mind, is best enjoyed while one is upon one's legs." But a still more important use of active employment is that enforced by the great divine, Jeremy Taylor. "Avoid idleness," he says," and fill up all the spaces of thy time with severe and useful employment ; for lust easily creeps in at those emptinesses where the soul is unemployed, and the body is at ease ; for no easy, healthful, idle person was ever chaste if he could be tempted ; but of all employments, bodily labour is the most useful, and of the greatest benefit for driving away the devil.
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But a still more important use of active employment is that enforced by the great divine, Jeremy Taylor. "Avoid idleness," he says," and fill up all the spaces of thy time with severe and useful employment ; for lust easily creeps in at those emptinesses where the soul is unemployed, and the body is at ease ; for no easy, healthful, idle person was ever chaste if he could be tempted ; but of all employments, bodily labour is the most useful, and of the greatest benefit for driving away the devil.
Very true. You can't change to the better lying on a sofa all day.
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Lust is more than sexual desire.