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  4. sex before marriage

sex before marriage

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    Steve
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    anyone know what the exact definition of adultery and fornication according to the quran alone? i believe in 1 god and the last day and want to follow god's laws but my problem is can't really read arabic and i refuse to believe a translator if i can't verify what i read so i don't follow everything i read in a translation if i can't verfy it by god's words or if it's not common sence so i think my only opition is to learn god's words to be able to know.

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      unknownuser
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Peace bro

      Marriage as a ritual is not defined in Quran as i understand it. But it does tell us that sex consumates a marriage, and my personal interpretation is that you can have sex with someone....and then youre married. So considder carefully what you do. Because if it doesnt work out there is a 4 month waiting period, before you can redo it.

      Youre better off ...erhm... helping youself

      (mods, is this refference ok? is the word sex?)

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        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Peace bro

        Marriage as a ritual is not defined in Quran as i understand it. But it does tell us that sex consumates a marriage, and my personal interpretation is that you can have sex with someone....and then youre married. So considder carefully what you do. Because if it doesnt work out there is a 4 month waiting period, before you can redo it.

        Youre better off ...erhm... helping youself

        We don't understand! Please elaborate -)

        Regards,

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          unknownuser
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Peace bro

          Marriage as a ritual is not defined in Quran as i understand it. But it does tell us that sex consumates a marriage, and my personal interpretation is that you can have sex with someone....and then youre married. So considder carefully what you do. Because if it doesnt work out there is a 4 month waiting period, before you can redo it.

          Youre better off ...erhm... helping youself

          We don't understand! Please elaborate -)

          Regards,

          Peace LT

          LOL
          I cant, then my post are moved to the trashbin or edited. sorry =/

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            Jaxal
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl ohhhhhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn rotfl rotfl

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              NoProgressive
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              As Salaam Alaikum,

              Fornication is having sex out of wedlock. Sex is fornication. Now if you are looking for the definition of sex... such as is kissing sex? oral sex, sex? blah blah.... that's when it gets sticky.

              salaam

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                Jaxal
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                SaLaM

                There is a difference between fornication and adultory

                Adultry is when a married person has sex outside marriage and Fornication is sex between two unmaried peopl.

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                  Steve
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  does anyone have any good explanations as to why we can't have sex before marriage or have bf/gf just by using our common sence? like how would someone that believes in god and the last day know that sex before marriage is not allowed if he can't read the quran?

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                    savage_carrot
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Firstly, because of the real and present danger of having children (there is no hundred percent contraceptive unless both of the people are sterile completely) and not being in a strong enough commitment to care for them properly and permanently. People have/had different ways of maybe being married around the world and in differerent time periods, normally it's something thats announced at least to a few even if there are no legalities (paperwork) done. The quran tells us of a solid way of doing many things as well as marriage. You don't need to read the quran for many things that are practised around the world to gauge what the reasons might be for doing them...

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                      Fahad1
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      salam .
                      chck this out .

                      http//www.geocities.com/justiceparadigm/presex.pdf

                      .

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                        Elke
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Salaam Steve,

                        we had a thread going on this. It was "understanding zina" so if you use the search you'll have some more ideas.

                        Also some threads in the marriage divore section (may be in parenting and children) on what constitutes a marriage.

                        Just yesterday i read surat annoor, with the story of A?sha - wife of the prophet. She had been left behind in the desert and a young man had brought her back to the camp. People started talking and the sura says you shouldn't have imagined things (zina) if you are unable to produce four witnesses.

                        So is zina just adultery or fornication (as sex outside wedlock) or is it pornography ? It's not that easy...

                        Guess that when you engage in sexual relations with someone, it should be a clean and clear relation (you are not cheating on other people or having multiple partners) and you should also be ready and able to assume consequences - which means have a sincere committment to this person. In short - not just **** around. That's the understanding to which i have come.

                        Peace all, Elke

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                          TAJ
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Peace Steve, All

                          Just yesterday I was thinking about something Joe wrote on another thread.

                          Even the unmarried ones breed. D

                          As to why, it's because we want sex here.

                          Joe

                          I was thinking about this blinding sex need and whether Al Quran has anything to say about it. I came to realize that Al Quran does not forbid prostitution! In Arabic it is called = Bighaa'a. A bad job no doubt, but for the desperately poor women, it means survival. Al Bighaa?a is a completely different thing than Zina.
                          Ayah tells fathers not to force their daughters to work as prostitutes if their daughters did not want to! Al Quran addresses it as a job that some women practice. I think that in the West this job exists, but maybe without the condition Married men are not allowed!
                          So for those desperate unmarried men, I believe it is not wrong to buy this need and so, save their fianc?s from engaging in something that may not end up with marriage!
                          Anyway, this is my understanding now from the Ayat , , . I would like to see your understaning too.

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                            unknownuser
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            jawdrop shock

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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Firstly, because of the real and present danger of having children (there is no hundred percent contraceptive unless both of the people are sterile completely)

                              In that case sex outside marriage is OK?

                              Regards,

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                                salikahDC
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Interesting point Taj

                                So, in general, a man cannot have sex without a giving the woman some sort of protection or resource (i.e. money)....

                                But what about women's sexuality? Do we not have needs too?!?

                                I'm going to have to check that out in the Book.

                                I don't differentiate between marriage, bf/gf. Commitment is personal and if two people have a mutual agreement, then so be it.

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                                  Jaxal
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  SaLaM Taj

                                  Quran doesnt allow prostitution just like Quran doesnt allow marriages to 9 year olds.

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                                    TAJ
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Salam Jaxal,

                                    If you believe that Al Quran does not allow prostitution then please bring forth your proof from Al Quran.

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                                      Jaxal
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      SaLaM Taj

                                      Bring forth your proof that Quran ALLOWS prostition.

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                                        TAJ
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Salam Jaxal,

                                        What does the Quran says about the Bighaa'a here

                                        **Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His grace. And if any of your slaves ask for a deed in writing (to enable them to earn their freedom for a certain sum), give them such a deed if ye know any good in them yea, give them something yourselves out of the means which Allah has given to you. But force not your maids to prostitution when they desire chastity, in order that ye may make a gain in the goods of this life. But if anyone compels them, yet, after such compulsion, is Allah, Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (to them), **

                                        Does Allah by any chance blame those daughters for working as prostitutes? In this Ayah, Allah is asking the fathers not to take advantage from their daughters when their daughters choose to stay away from such contacts.

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                                          SwedenMajidah
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Salaam sis Taj,

                                          Wow ,you surprise me sister with your understanding!

                                          I can't see anything of prostitution in that verse.

                                          If you read some verses before this verse you can see that Allah Guide both the believing men and females to lower their gaze and keep their private parts covered.

                                          I mean if prostitution was allowed why then cover your private parts!?

                                          Peace
                                          Sis Majidah

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