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  4. How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

How Many Wives, can You have according to Quran?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Questions/Comments on the Quran
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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Jaxal
    wrote on last edited by
    #41

    SaLaM PM

    So in todays world, do you believe that the 1400 years old reason exist allowing this polygomy?

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    • R Offline
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      Roshan
      wrote on last edited by
      #42

      Peace,

      I read the instruction as 4 wives being allowed on condition that 3 are mothers of orphans who are being taken in under the mans care.

      I am aware that 44 has been argued to mean mothers of orphans, while others have argued that it means to 'marry off' the orphan females (which I do not subscibe to as a limit is not required in this case)...

      Peace Layth I personally subscribe to that verse meaning to marry off the orphan females. However, the part which you placed in brackets, I understand where you are coming from, but perhaps the verse was 'metaphorical' and means that you can marry off many orhpans at the same time.

      If I remember correctly, the verse literally meant something like the following

      'If you have orphans that you can't deal with, then OF THOSE that are suitable, marry them off in twos threes and fours'.

      The Sunnis 'forgot' to translate the word that meant 'of those', so they twisted it to suit their own perversions.

      Having said that, I am not aware of any explicit verse stating the marriage 'ratio'.

      However, if one man = one woman I don't see how either can be married to more than one.

      Roshan

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      • U Offline
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        unknownuser
        wrote on last edited by
        #43

        Hi Jaxal,
        Well, Since conditions today are different, most of the clauses and conditions wont be met
        such as-

        In Today'S world
        *Women can be financially independent
        *Women can be socially independent
        *Woman is considered in equality and hence wont be deprived.
        *There are organisations and other sources to help desperate women
        *Women do not outnumber men and hence widows can very well marry single men if they so wish.
        *And in today's society (laws), marriage cant be the only resort to help a desperate women adequately. They can be absolutely helped with out having to marry.
        *And moreover, Man cant be just and impartial to 2 or more wives. And no woman would wish to share her husband.

        So, considering all of the above, most of the clauses dont get met, and hence Polygamy wont be permissible in today's world.

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        • J Offline
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          Jaxal
          wrote on last edited by
          #44

          SaLaM PM

          Ok so we agree with each other then that in today's world, there is no reason to commit polygomy , something which wasnt allowed in the first place.

          Now, you said

          well, Jaxal, Man marrying 3 additional women is implicated ONLY BECOZ those days, men were the bread-earners. Majority of the women were dependent on the man financially, since they did not work,

          In today's world, dont you see men with kids and not being able to cope with the ability to bring those kids up on their own. In this case, isnt it permissible for a woman to do the good deed now and marry 4 guys like that to support them, or help them?

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          • U Offline
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            unknownuser
            wrote on last edited by
            #45

            SaLaM PM

            Ok so we agree with each other then that in today's world, there is no reason to commit polygomy , something which wasnt allowed in the first place.

            Now, you said

            well, Jaxal, Man marrying 3 additional women is implicated ONLY BECOZ those days, men were the bread-earners. Majority of the women were dependent on the man financially, since they did not work,

            In today's world, dont you see men with kids and not being able to cope with the ability to bring those kids up on their own. In this case, isnt it permissible for a woman to do the good deed now and marry 4 guys like that to support them, or help them?

            Jaxal,
            cant that guy who wishes for a wife to support him, in his family life, marry a single woman(never married, divorcee, widow)? why does he have to marry a married woman?

            And when its come to polygamy it is not just about fulfilling financial needs. there are other factors as well. those days, women were not considered equal or infact significant, without a man on her side. they would be socially, econimically deprived in the society etc.

            Untill recent years( a few decades), even in India, a child wont be admitted in school, without the dad's presence during admission etc. so, sometimes, in a biased society, such stuff becomes important

            PS I agree Polygamy is one other issue thats been abused by the so called muslims, just like most other rulings. People fail to see 'why' something has been said.
            check this out
            http//www.free-minds.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4440

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            • U Offline
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              unknownuser
              wrote on last edited by
              #46

              IF U wanna say why not polyandry

              polyandry will make sense only if all of the following were true at a given time

              *Men are considered inferior to woman in a society and a woman's word counts more than a man's.
              *Women are the majority bread earners and men arent allowed to.
              *Man has no say in any affairs.
              *Women are more physically stronger than Men
              *Men are dependent financially and socially on woman, and have no means to carry on their own.
              *Men outnumber women in a large proportion.(41 or more)
              *the widow man can not absolutely provide for himself or for his children, without a woman's help.
              *there are no organisations and other sources to help the desperate man.

              Since we know, all of the above cant be true, Polyandry wont make sense.
              The idea is not to disintegrate the family system(one husband-one wife-their children)

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              • J Offline
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                Jaxal
                wrote on last edited by
                #47

                SaLaM PM

                cant that guy who wishes for a wife to support him, in his family life, marry a single woman(never married, divorcee, widow)? why does he have to marry a married woman?

                Cant the woman marry a man who is not already married? Why the double standard? If a man is good enough to marry more than 1 woman, why isnt a woman good enough to marry more than 1 man? Unless ofcourse it is YOU who see them as unequal.

                those days, women were not considered equal or infact significant,

                Yea well those days are gone. So this argument is invalid

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                • U Offline
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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #48

                  cant that guy who wishes for a wife to support him, in his family life, marry a single woman(never married, divorcee, widow)? why does he have to marry a married woman?

                  Cant the woman marry a man who is not already married? Why the double standard? If a man is good enough to marry more than 1 woman, why isnt a woman good enough to marry more than 1 man? Unless ofcourse it is YOU who see them as unequal.

                  Jaxal, its not about man being good enough to marry more than one etc. No one said that. Men were clearly very less in number when compared to women, as most of them had died during the war. So, there were more women(many widows) and very few men. And with a biased, unsafe society, it would be understandable that the woman(widows) were desperate for help in the ?men dominated society? That?s why men were allowed to marry those women.
                  Men, in general are not permitted to marry widows or non-widows, more than one, when the various clauses/conditions aren?t met.
                  That?s why I said, Polygamy wont be permissible in today's world, since those conditions wont be met.

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                  • J Offline
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                    Jaxal
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #49

                    SaLaM PM

                    So the reason why men were allowed to marry more than 1 woman were becoz there were few men? SO you saying that in the near future if the table was turned and there were few women, then they too will be allowed to marry more than 1 man?

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                    • U Offline
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                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #50

                      IF U wanna say why not polyandry

                      polyandry will make sense only if all of the following were true at a given time

                      *Men are considered inferior to woman in a society and a woman's word counts more than a man's.
                      *Women are the majority bread earners and men arent allowed to.
                      *Man has no say in any affairs.
                      *Women are more physically stronger than Men
                      *Men are dependent financially and socially on woman, and have no means to carry on their own.
                      *Men outnumber women in a large proportion.(41 or more)
                      *the widow man can not absolutely provide for himself or for his children, without a woman's help.
                      *there are no organisations and other sources to help the desperate man.

                      Since we know, all of the above cant be true, Polyandry wont make sense.
                      The idea is not to disintegrate the family system(one husband-one wife-their children)

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                      • J Offline
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                        Jaxal
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #51

                        SaLam PM

                        And the day when all that is true, there will be NOTHING wrong in a woman marrying more than 1 man. Yes?

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                        • U Offline
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                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #52

                          well, Jaxal, all of those together cant be true ever, can it?
                          For one, men are physically stronger than women. Now, dont say there are a few strong women. Its a fact that man is stronger. )

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                          • J Offline
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                            Jaxal
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #53

                            SaLaM PM

                            You never know pm. But im asking you. The day when all that comes true, will there be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with a woman marrying more than 1 man at the same time?

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                            • U Offline
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                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #54

                              Well, I suppose so, if the man can not exsist on his own, without a woman's support.(which i see clearly as impossible)

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                              • J Offline
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                                Jaxal
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #55

                                SaLaM PM

                                Well, I suppose so

                                I will assume that is not 'complete agreement'. Do you feel the same way about a man marrying more than 1 woman 1400 years ago? Or do you completely agree with that?

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                                • U Offline
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                                  unknownuser
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #56

                                  SaLaM PM

                                  Well, I suppose so

                                  I will assume that is not 'complete agreement'. Do you feel the same way about a man marrying more than 1 woman 1400 years ago? Or do you completely agree with that?

                                  Jaxal, it is a complete agreement. But the reason I said 'I suppose so' coz I dont see all of that happening. ) It sounds purely hypothetical. Though the idea does sound weird.)
                                  And I am not in favour of polygamy at all. But I suppose, those days, there was no other way out.
                                  Peace!

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                                  • U Offline
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                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #57

                                    .

                                    Allah says in Quran You will never be able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire.

                                    So how many women can you marry despite the above clear warning?

                                    Peace

                                    .

                                    ONE

                                    peace

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                                    • U Offline
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                                      unknownuser
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #58

                                      Let us see what you have to say in your earlier post

                                      well, I'm not going to be side tracked with a story that happened about 1400 years ago when humans had close to nill compared to what we have today, just forget the past unless it is related to a verse in the Quran you want to discuss, I don't think that Aysha marriage to the great prophet was discussed in the Quran

                                      Humans had close to nill?? Amazing, you follow a Book that is 1400 hundred years old which was revealed through a Human,

                                      Look don't manipulate my words, I don't have to be that specific, I mean technology

                                      got it?

                                      but you think to the persons for whom it was revealed were close to nil.

                                      yep they had nothing just a few donkeys and camels as a method of transporation and sure they managed to design a few cloths and a few swords

                                      what else you reckon they had, of yeh they built tents

                                      Besides have you ever heared the names of great greek philosphers, the roman poets etc. I think not, otherwise you would have not compared the ancient people with Nil.

                                      the philosphers for are a bunch of confused atheists and bound to Hell

                                      Related to a verse in the Quran?
                                      I think I got engaged with the wrong person!

                                      you should bail out then

                                      How many verses do you need to be pointed out to you which deal with wives and lives of the marriage life of Prophet?

                                      what is the point from your question?, I'm not talking about the prophet marriages in here, prophets are dealt diffently by God, unlike me and you

                                      it seems it is the only option.....

                                      a muslim man can marry up to four wives.....

                                      Allah advises us to marry only one wife

                                      These all are your quotes so what is Final according to your opnion

                                      1. One wife?
                                      2. Up to four wives?
                                      3. One wife and and up to four widows with kids?
                                      4. One wife and Slaves who are captured during war?
                                      5. One wife at a time up to four?

                                      again trying to be smart and manipulate my words

                                      1. One wife?

                                      if a 100% submitter and adhere to Allah advice to marry on one 43
                                      2. Up to four wives?

                                      1. One wife and and up to four widows with kids?

                                      where the hell you got this from? the above is a contasictory in one sentence

                                      well if the husband didnlt care about point 1, then they can marry up to 4 BUT ONLY WITH ORPHANS

                                      1. One wife and Slaves who are captured during war?

                                      again you are a very good manipulator, i donlt know whyu I'm responding to you actyually but let's see

                                      I never talked about slaves, I don't see the Quran ever talking about marrying slaves

                                      1. One wife at a time up to four?

                                      never said that

                                      I think you are confused and trying to make others confuse.

                                      oh yeh like many confused and horny muslim men who deceive their wives and treat them like sex objects and marry even for sex

                                      you are the one that is highly confused, you didn't even offer your understanding to verse 43

                                      now please tell us your insight about 43, possibly you can convince a confused muslim like me

                                      a silly question and I decline to answer it

                                      Well I don't know who is silly here?

                                      if you don't know know, then let me tell you it is you wink

                                      look mister quran know it all, I did not accuse you of not reading the Quran because i don't know you, so please don't commit this childish crap and accuse me as such because you don't know me

                                      Well I am starting to know you now.

                                      cool, but possibly I don't want to know you? please consider it as a possiblity

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                                      • U Offline
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                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #59

                                        the solution is very simple

                                        if any man wants to marry more than one, go for it

                                        if any woman wants to marry more than one, go for it (I reckon it will be a hard task to find husbands that allow to share their wives, but good luck any way)

                                        I'm a man who married one and will only marry one at a time in my life as the Quran told me

                                        "If you fear not to be just between the wives then MARRY ONLY ONE",

                                        and I declare that I'm one of those men who fear NOT TO BE JUST BETWEEN THE WIVES so I chose to marry only ONE, I recognised that the Quran also said "We can not be just between the wives even if it was our desire" and really Allah has summed it up beautifully

                                        peace to all

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                                        • U Offline
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                                          unknownuser
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #60

                                          the solution is very simple

                                          if any man wants to marry more than one, go for it

                                          if any woman wants to marry more than one, go for it (I reckon it will be a hard task to find husbands that allow to share their wives, but good luck any way)

                                          I'm a man who married one and will only marry one at a time in my life as the Quran told me

                                          "If you fear not to be just between the wives then MARRY ONLY ONE",

                                          and I declare that I'm one of those men who fear NOT TO BE JUST BETWEEN THE WIVES so I chose to marry only ONE, I recognised that the Quran also said "We can not be just between the wives even if it was our desire" and really Allah has summed it up beautifully

                                          Well said, AhmedBahgat.
                                          Peace!

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