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  4. Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

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  • N Offline
    N Offline
    NoProgressive
    wrote on last edited by
    #190

    As Salaam Alaikum,

    I must not know how to read, becuase when I was reading... it did not say that tehy had an arrange marriage. shock So how exactly does this have to do with arrange marriages?

    And how in the world do you all know that this girl was forced to marry him?

    Women in my country, America, are killed everday by their husbands and boyfriends.. who they knew before marrying them.

    So PLEASE do not act as if domestic abuse and murder only happen in marraiges were it was an arraged marriage or forced one.

    If anything the last 3 comments, just represent a classic case of racial profiling... "Oh SOuth Asian? It mus of been a forced marriage".

    You want to talk about issues? Be real with the issues, not someone who does the propraganda.

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    • U Offline
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      unknownuser
      wrote on last edited by
      #191

      Hi Noprogressive,

      As Salaam Alaikum,

      Welcome to the thread.)

      I must not know how to read, becuase when I was reading... it did not say that tehy had an arrange marriage. shock So how exactly does this have to do with arrange marriages?
      And how in the world do you all know that this girl was forced to marry him?

      Becoz in the society where she comes from, thats the only norm, especially among the poor.

      Women in my country, America, are killed everday by their husbands and boyfriends.. who they knew before marrying them.

      These are different issues. Men abuse women all around the world. But in these cases, Women are almost handed over to men they know nothing about.

      So PLEASE do not act as if domestic abuse and murder only happen in marraiges were it was an arraged marriage or forced one.

      No one said that. But arranged marriages in India and some other countries have a larger share of violence and abuses(manily dowry related). Do a google search of ''dowry deaths in india''. Here's one for a start Rising number of dowry deaths in India

      If anything the last 3 comments, just represent a classic case of racial profiling... "Oh SOuth Asian? It mus of been a forced marriage".

      U should propably write to the news daily and ask them.
      Propably they can convince u. )
      peace, girl.
      And anyways, I am southasian too. So, I do know what I am talking about.

      You want to talk about issues? Be real with the issues, not someone who does the propraganda.

      Whats unreal about a news article?

      Peace!

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      • P Offline
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        Prince
        wrote on last edited by
        #192

        Pity we did'nt get more guys like you up here 2Pac-Notts.
        We got all the whimpy women suppressors.

        The women suppressors aint men in that case lol lol

        I find some asian girls in hijab very nice but its all about how you can approach them without making them feel offended when you want to get to know them abit better wink lol

        PEACE

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        • S Offline
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          SwedenMajidah
          wrote on last edited by
          #193

          Peace,

          Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

          Why live like on the time of the prophet?

          We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

          Peace Sis Majidah

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          • J Offline
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            Jaxal
            wrote on last edited by
            #194

            SaLaM

            Wearing hijab isnt haram and neither is it a bad thing. Girls look really attractive in their hijabs. I dont find it revolting or i dont feel like i cannot approach them. Infact i have approached girls wearing hijab and it turned out to be a nice evening.

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            • U Offline
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              unknownuser
              wrote on last edited by
              #195

              Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

              Why live like on the time of the prophet?

              We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

              Wearing hijab is just like wearing any other modest attire. Nothing 'islamic'
              about it. So, women who like to wear it ,can and women who dont like it, need not.

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              • N Offline
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                NoProgressive
                wrote on last edited by
                #196

                As SAlaam Alaikum,

                Becoz in the society where she comes from, thats the only norm, especially among the poor.

                And I fail to understand how she was forced to marry the guy?! Where is the evidence for this? Wear is the evidence that this was arranged?! For all you know they could of been together for months before they were even engaged.

                These are different issues. Men abuse women all around the world. But in these cases, Women are almost handed over to men they know nothing about.

                And often when people marry someone they discover they knew nothing about them. Along with boyfriends, they discover they knew nothing about them but yet they are dating them.. and often in just the few dates there are signs of abuse already

                And anyways, I am southasian too. So, I do know what I am talking about.

                I never said that you don't know what you are talking about. But reality is domestic abuse is not just in arrange marriages. it is many marriages. Are you goign to quote anotehr domest abuse case that was a "love marraige" as "another ending to a love marriage"?

                Many arrange marraiges are not bad. Many girls are not forced to marry either.

                salam

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                • N Offline
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                  NoProgressive
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #197

                  As Salaam ALiakum Sweden,

                  Peace,

                  Well it's time to change the old cultures, why wearing hijabs!?

                  Why live like on the time of the prophet?

                  We must look forward and the same time keep the good moral.

                  Peace Sis Majidah

                  Why ar you trying to tell women how to dress? What is "old" is telling women how to dress and making them dress the way you deem acceptable. What is "foward" is allowing them to dress how they please.

                  salaam

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                  • T Offline
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                    Tahira
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #198

                    Salam NoProgressive

                    Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

                    Regarding your comment on hijab. I thought we (women)had a choice in this matter.
                    I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
                    Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

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                    • N Offline
                      N Offline
                      NoProgressive
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #199

                      As Salaam Aliakum Tahira,

                      Salam NoProgressive

                      Very true. I was forced to get married when i was 16 but my hubby turned out to be sooooooo perfect.

                      Sorry to read that happened to you, but that's great htat your husband turned out to be a just man.

                      I don't understand what you meant by "What is forward is allowing them to dress how they please".
                      Please correct me if i'm wrong but are saying we women have to be told how to dress.

                      Lol. No gurl! I'm saying the exact opposite.

                      the "them" in that sentence is referring to women.

                      "how they please" is a phrase that is about people choosing whatever they like.

                      salaam

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                      • T Offline
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                        Tahira
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #200

                        Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

                        Thanks for correcting me luv.

                        Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.
                        Why does the word arranged always get connected to the word forced?
                        We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
                        So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

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                        • S Offline
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                          stillearning
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #201

                          salaam all

                          You guys are so lucky you're not living in pakiford. OOPS i meant bradford. It is like the Big Apple for immigration up here.

                          Perfect comments for any racist website.

                          Any hard evidence to back up what seems to be the overwhelming view on this forum that those from the Indian subcontinent are predominantly living in loveless and miserable marriages!
                          regards

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                          • T Offline
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                            Tahira
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #202

                            Salam StillLearning

                            Do you think muslims everywhere are living perfect happy lives. Racists don't need our website to be racist thats who they already are.

                            Have you lived in Bradford 3? Do you know what people are like there?
                            I lived there 11 years and the people living there made my life a living hell. These people weren't Racists they were muslims. The majority of Bradford 3 are muslims. The area i was living in had about 7 streets. All muslims except for 3 households. They all new each other(they were from the same parts of Afghanistan) and some were related.
                            They started picking on us because i don't wear hijab.They harassed us on a daily basis (please let me know if you want details of what they did to us, You know HARD EVIDENCE). We had to move out of our home in August this year because they threatened to set our house on fire.

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                            • N Offline
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                              NoProgressive
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #203

                              As Salaam Alaikum Tahira,

                              Wa Aliakum As salam NoProgressive

                              Thanks for correcting me luv.

                              Do you know i had a think about what you said, and do you know you are right , Why are all bad marriages automatically thought of as arranged marriages.

                              Because of stereotypes. Poeple in different societies, often look at other societies as savages and uncivilized people. Though abuse is prevelant in thier own neighborhoods and cities, they make comments as if domestic abuse never happens where they are from.

                              We should say these words the other way around like "forced arranged marriage" then we would know if we were talking about a good arranged marriage or a bad one.
                              So could we let this be lesson no 1 for today, from now on if we can separate the two, its either an arranged marriage or a forced arranged marriage.

                              I agree totally. Becuase like I said, you have to understand the culture. And while there are many people inside of that culture that dread the day when thier parents start talking about a potential spouse, many poeple do look foward to it and welcome it.

                              Like I said about my friend, he's Indian. Born and Bred in America... but whenever he is asked about maybe having an arrange marriage he never ever rules it out. (by the way he is not Muslim, therefore does not have some type of "traditionalist" thinking lol).

                              salaam

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                              • T Offline
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                                Tahira
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #204

                                salam NoProgressive

                                I would also like to add that arranged marriages and forced arranged marriages also happen in other cultures and religions too.So its not just a muslim thing. The difference is that they don't have the Quran to tell them that forced arranged marriage is wrong and we do yet we continue this practice.

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                                • J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  Jaxal
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #205

                                  SaLaM

                                  I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

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                                  • U Offline
                                    U Offline
                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #206

                                    SaLaM

                                    I think its becoz a cultural thing. Especially for 'muslims' in 'muslim' countries. I think it has to do more with culture than religion.

                                    Whats religious about it? its purely cultural.

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                                    • J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Jaxal
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #207

                                      SaLaM PM

                                      are you asking me or telling me?

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                                      • U Offline
                                        U Offline
                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #208

                                        SaLaM PM

                                        are you asking me or telling me?

                                        ) Jaxal, I just opined on it.
                                        the practice is not to do with religion. its more of tradition and culture. so, muslims and non muslims alike practice it, in countries.

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                                        • J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          Jaxal
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #209

                                          SaLam PM

                                          loooolll and i agree with you! D

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