My divorce - need your help
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Salam Warda,
Thanks Taj for asking and trying out to find what there's to do in my case. You're really very kind I am much more quiet now, waiting for the date being weapend with some ayas and other material good-hearted people sent to me grouphug I am very optimistic now, at least more than a week ago.
Don't mention it. I am so glad that you are feeling better now, and it showed, so Alhamdu leLlah
While I was asking around, one person said "She is not living in the Arab or Muslim world, so why is she so worried? In the West, they have laws and courts unlike here. If your friend lives here then you really should worry about her but thankfully she does not!"Personally, I think you did good by opening this thread so that others would learn from your story. But can you tell us the lessons you have learned from this experience, if that is ok with you?
Thank you and God be with you wink -
Salaam dear Sister Warda,
You should know that I do thinking about you and wish you all the best )
I have been so busy online, so don't think that I have avoid you sister.
Take care and my warmest wishes to you and your daughters.
Peace Sis Majidah
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Salam Warda,
"She is not living in the Arab or Muslim world, so why is she so worried? In the West, they have laws and courts unlike here. If your friend lives here then you really should worry about her but thankfully she does not!"
Salam Taj,
I know many of you wonder about this. I try to explain If my husband doesn't want me to get divorced, there is no legal court that might help me in this case. So I will be for him his wife who is not allowed to go with other men, to marry another man, who can be controlled by him, he may enter my flat arguing that I am his wife if I refuse to let him in,... etc. etc. ... no lawyer, not legal court, no human-rights-group will change the way of thinking my sunni husband does that I am in Islam and Shari'a his wife with my duties and restrictions.
Of course I could call the police, I can go to women rights organisation and get help but this would only increase the problem and wouldn't solve the root of the problem that I am in his eyes still his wife. Fine, we have laws that forbid him to enter my flat if I want to - still he won't give up and make me problems for the following years.
He just today repeated angrily that he won't divorce me and he's threatening me that he will do "things I won't think of" whatever that means.
OK, it is not question of death or alive, I am not amongst the lions but I don't want to increase the problem. If I go to the police this means that a trial will follow -and this is the worst case scenario.So believe it or not the Sheick is the only authority which can help me. Wether I like it or not, wether I see him as such or not, wether he is in "real Islam" or not - he is the authority which can solve our marriage and my problem.
So if I live in Saudi-Arabia, India, Columbia, Great Britain or Australia - problems are problems and I have to take care for the psycho of my kids that they don't suffer even more under the situation. Sure - if it's getting too hard, there are laws which might protect me. Fine.
I hope I made it clear now.
Salam Sis Majidah
Salaam dear Sister Warda,
You should know that I do thinking about you and wish you all the best
I have been so busy online, so don't think that I have avoid you sister.
Take care and my warmest wishes to you and your daughters.
Peace Sis Majidah
Thanks Sis, its ok
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Salam Salika,
you recently married and you think already about divorce? I hope you will not be in my shoes soon Good Luck and thanks for your prayers
Regards
wardaLOL! I'm not planning on divorce, but I also do not subscribe to the eutopic thought that a marriage is until "death to us part". Rather, until the relationship is no longer healthy beyond repair for whatever reason. I cannot predict the future as I do not know what the God has in store for me. I can plan, however. And part of my plan is to accept the best and the worst case scenario. My partner is a kindred soul, most definitely. The best case scenario and the one that I am hoping for is us to build our lives right into infinity. However, I still must keep in mind that this may not be the case, if the God wills otherwise.
Just doing my best to be prepared...
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Peace warda and all. quran 2231 mentions not holding women in marriage to harm or oppress unjustly. Marriage is based on a condition of keeping the limits of god,so no unnecessary harm is done to partners or children.(2229-230) Recconciliation would normally need the consent of both partners and appropriate behaviour from both partners.(4128-130) A man has no right to unjustly oppress a woman,nor does a woman have a right to unjustly oppress a man. Be patient sister and try to follow the guidance from god.Not every sheikh has a correct understanding in these matters. Try to be just to yourself,your children and your husband.
Peace. -
Peace warda and all. quran 2231 mentions not holding women in marriage to harm or oppress unjustly. Marriage is based on a condition of keeping the limits of god,so no unnecessary harm is done to partners or children.(2229-230) Recconciliation would normally need the consent of both partners and appropriate behaviour from both partners.(4128-130) A man has no right to unjustly oppress a woman,nor does a woman have a right to unjustly oppress a man. Be patient sister and try to follow the guidance from god.Not every sheikh has a correct understanding in these matters. Try to be just to yourself,your children and your husband.
Peace.Salam enquirer,
it seems that I found one who's got the correct understanding in these matters as he quoted the very same Aja for me and it seems he is really on my side ) . Insha'Allah ya Rab I will be divorced just in a couple of days...
Regards
warda -
Peace warda and all. Truely With every difficulty there is relief.(945-6)
The help of god is is with those who consistently follow his guidance.
Next time any of us in a difficulty,we can try to remember this.