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  4. Number of wives?

Number of wives?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Questions/Comments on the Quran
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  • H Offline
    H Offline
    huruf
    wrote on last edited by
    #301

    Are you sugesting poligamy for women hmm
    ;D

    No. I am not suggesting anything at all and I do not think any woman deserves being punished with extra husbands. In most cases one is punishment enough. And if in fact she has got that most precious and rare wonder of a good husband, most definitely she won't want to dilute it adding anything less than that, nor deprive other women of the same possibility if she happened to come across more than one of that rare species.

    No, I am not a cruel person nor a women hater, therefore I would never advocate more than one husband.

    That notwithstanding I am really worried about what those extra men may come up with deprived of the hope of having a woman. May be the popularity of homosexuality has been a providential tendency that might soothen the excess men problem.

    And, brother Afridi, I appreciate your posts, but please do not look so wary of me or my thoughts. I am a very sweet person and rather cautious, and also straightforward, if I want to suggest something I go and suggest it straight out not leave it hanging, except for irony, but that can be readily appreciated, I hope.

    Salaam

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      afridi220
      wrote on last edited by
      #302

      No. I am not suggesting anything at all and I do not think any woman deserves being punished with extra husbands. In most cases one is punishment enough. And if in fact she has got that most precious and rare wonder of a good husband, most definitely she won't want to dilute it adding anything less than that, nor deprive other women of the same possibility if she happened to come across more than one of that rare species.

      No, I am not a cruel person nor a women hater, therefore I would never advocate more than one husband.

      That notwithstanding I am really worried about what those extra men may come up with deprived of the hope of having a woman. May be the popularity of homosexuality has been a providential tendency that might soothen the excess men problem.

      And, brother Afridi, I appreciate your posts, but please do not look so wary of me or my thoughts. I am a very sweet person and rather cautious, and also straightforward, if I want to suggest something I go and suggest it straight out not leave it hanging, except for irony, but that can be readily appreciated, I hope.

      Salaam

      ;D please don?t take it that way it?s my habit joking with everyone it was only a joke I don?t like polygamy at all if the purpose is helping someone then ok otherwise no.

      Any way in case of women shortage we can send those exes men to the above said Indian tribe.
      I hope you will agree with me on this !

      peace

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        afridi220
        wrote on last edited by
        #303

        ;D please don?t take it that way it?s my habit joking with everyone it was only a joke I don?t like polygamy at all if the purpose is helping someone then ok otherwise no.

        Any way in case of women shortage we can send those exes men to the above said Indian tribe.
        I hope you will agree with me on this !

        peace

        http//www.maharashtra.gov.in/pdf/gazeetter_reprint/Poona-I/appendix_c.html#.
        http//books.google.com.pk/books?id=ix4T-qyrhWAC&pg=PA63&lpg=PA63&dq=polyandry+in+indian+tribe&source=bl&ots=TfIX1OWJt-&sig=W7PD6-P5wLUCCbY0OZm9SR4rFkU&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result#PPA64,M1

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        • F Offline
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          Fahad1
          wrote on last edited by
          #304

          To find out my views about polygyny please see my thread http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=16043.0

          Can you please summarize your views for me right here in this thread? Thanks.

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            liquiddharma
            wrote on last edited by
            #305

            Shortage of men is not a natural occurence. When it happens is due to wars fought on the battleground or when they emigrate and leave women behind, which is a localised phenomenon and is accompanied by excess men in the place where they go. Wars today kill at least as many civilians as they do military, so really the number should even out with a slight excess of males in the earlier years and an excess of women in old age.

            As it happens and Liq... points our in fact with selective abortions and male preference the fact is that a big problem is cooking of excess men who will not be able to find a wife because there will not be enough women around. The best possibility of poligamy for them is to make sure they do reach a very old age and keep waiting for other males to die and marry their old widows.

            Salaam

            Why can't women do the same. Do you think it is more harmful for a woman to wait for a man to be available than for a man to wait for a woman?

            Anyway, there is a much simpler solution to the war-sex imbalance. Let women be soldiers as well, so men and women die in equal numbers.

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            • H Offline
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              huruf
              wrote on last edited by
              #306

              Why can't women do the same. Do you think it is more harmful for a woman to wait for a man to be available than for a man to wait for a woman?

              Anyway, there is a much simpler solution to the war-sex imbalance. Let women be soldiers as well, so men and women die in equal numbers.

              Either you didn't get what I meant or I am not getting what you mean.

              I was meaning that till the later on in life there is not a woman for every man so if a man wants to have more than one wife he will have to wait till some men die later on in life and leave widows free to marry.

              And the soldier prt precisely what I was saying is that today's wars kill as many women as men because they mainly kill civilians. So no statistical correction from wars.

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              • H Offline
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                huruf
                wrote on last edited by
                #307

                http//www.maharashtra.gov.in/pdf/gazeetter_reprint/Poona-I/appendix_c.html#.
                http//books.google.com.pk/books?id=ix4T-qyrhWAC&pg=PA63&lpg=PA63&dq=polyandry+in+indian+tribe&source=bl&ots=TfIX1OWJt-&sig=W7PD6-P5wLUCCbY0OZm9SR4rFkU&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result#PPA64,M1

                Well, I would have to check those excesses first to see how good looking they are, because, who knows, we might have some use for them in a tribe closer to home.
                eat > rotfl rotfl rotfl

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                • F Offline
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                  Fahad1
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #308

                  You people are unable to defend any thing you say against polygyny. You avoid answering simple questions. If you can't defend the comments you make, then you can't be honest in insisting on your stance. From now on, I am going to press you for answers.

                  But this is also a special case of the rich people, they always think they can get what they want because they have money )

                  NO this is not a special case almost all those men who have a few dirham?s are rupees will try to find a teenage and buy her,

                  When a man enters into nikah with a woman, he has to pay her ajr/wage. What is wrong with that?! In case you missed it, women are sought with one's MAAL/money/wealth(4/24).

                  they are not marrying them to help them. Why don?t they go for those widows who needs help,

                  1. Is that all a man marries a woman for? To "help" her?

                  2. Is it forbidden for a man to marry a woman for reasons other than "helping" her?

                  3. Will leaving her unmarried help her?

                  the truth is that they are doing it to satisfy their lust and to abuse God hukm.

                  How is satisfying one's lust an abuse of God's hukm?

                  And I think you avoided answering these questions. So I am re-posting them for you to answer.

                  No one is forcing those women to get married. If they do not think it is worth it, they wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Plus, the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world, will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means.

                  Yeah, greedy men taking care of multiple women, providing them with family and children! Those women would have been better off prostituting themselves, right? Isn't that what you want?

                  Nop you are absolutely on a wrong side

                  Am I wrong that the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means?

                  Am I wrong that every women has a right to have a husband and children?

                  Tell me.

                  they are not marrying them out of mercy are to help them

                  Isn't it merciless to leave women unmarried? Doesn't it help a woman to be married instead of staying unmarried and unfulfilled?

                  and you know that very well and still trying to cover their wrongs.

                  WHAT EXACTLY do you think is wrong in polygyny? How many women will be left unmarried in a monogamous society? Wouldn't THAT be wrong?

                  a few months back a 90 years old Saudi millioner paid a poor Egyptian family to marry their 16 years young daughter but the court took action against him and stopped that marriage.

                  I was talking about marriage, not about rape.

                  Why he never tried to find a widow are divorce women why he need a virgin?

                  Whats wrong with a virgin?

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                    afridi220
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #309

                    You people are unable to defend any thing you say against polygyny. You avoid answering simple questions. If you can't defend the comments you make, then you can't be honest in insisting on your stance. From now on, I am going to press you for answers.

                    NO this is not a special case almost all those men who have a few dirham?s are rupees will try to find a teenage and buy her,

                    When a man enters into nikah with a woman, he has to pay her ajr/wage. What is wrong with that?! In case you missed it, women are sought with one's MAAL/money/wealth(4/24).

                    1. Is that all a man marries a woman for? To "help" her?

                    2. Is it forbidden for a man to marry a woman for reasons other than "helping" her?

                    3. Will leaving her unmarried help her?

                    How is satisfying one's lust an abuse of God's hukm?

                    And I think you avoided answering these questions. So I am re-posting them for you to answer.

                    Nop you are absolutely on a wrong side

                    Am I wrong that the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means?

                    Am I wrong that every women has a right to have a husband and children?

                    Tell me.

                    Isn't it merciless to leave women unmarried? Doesn't it help a woman to be married instead of staying unmarried and unfulfilled?

                    WHAT EXACTLY do you think is wrong in polygyny? How many women will be left unmarried in a monogamous society? Wouldn't THAT be wrong?

                    I was talking about marriage, not about rape.

                    Whats wrong with a virgin?

                    ??? I believe you are living on mars or some other planet, so you don?t know these girls are not married forcefully or against their well hypno i don?t have much time to discuss this matter in detail but i will give you a small advice please do some research go and ask those girls are women '(

                    Sorry for your ignorance elektro

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                      SwedenMajidah
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #310

                      Peace,

                      If all women really were free to choose which husband she wanted to get married to this wouldn't been an issue for argues.

                      I mean which sweet 16 girl would ever marry an 70 year old Hugh Hefner look alike, who only would think of sex?

                      The answer is NO.

                      Therefore i don't believe in marriage without love connected to it, so called arranged marriage is doomed to fail after a time.

                      Maria

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                      • F Offline
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                        Fahad1
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #311

                        Yes - you're wrong, because the number of men and women in the world between the ages of 15-50 are roughly even. The excess of women is only above the age of 70 (above the male life expectancy.

                        I am not sure I understand why you think I am wrong. I asked

                        Am I wrong that the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means?

                        You say yes I am wrong that the women left unmarried will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means.

                        I asked

                        Am I wrong that every women has a right to have a husband and children?

                        You say yes I am wrong that every women has a right to have a husband and children.

                        Does your answer make any sense to yourself? Did you read my questions before answering? If not, have you read them now? If so, could you please answer them again? Thanks.

                        The number of men and women in the world has nothing to do with my questions nor with the issue of polygyny.

                        So this idea of an excess of women who need polygamy to find a husband is complete fantasy. In fact, in many countries like China and Saudi Arabia, there is a big excess of men. So your arguement needs to be reversed.

                        Can you please point out where I used the argument of the excess of women. Thanks.

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                          Fahad1
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #312

                          Afridi, again, you are avoiding my questions.

                          ??? I believe you are living on mars or some other planet, so you don?t know these girls are not married forcefully or against their well hypno

                          I already told you that I am not talking about the girls/women who are forced. I am talking about those who give their consent. I quote

                          a few months back a 90 years old Saudi millioner paid a poor Egyptian family to marry their 16 years young daughter but the court took action against him and stopped that marriage.

                          I was talking about marriage, not about rape.

                          What now?

                          i don?t have much time to discuss this matter in detail but i will give you a small advice please do some research go and ask those girls are women '(

                          You don't have time? Does it means you won't be replying in this thread anymore?

                          Or will you reply to others in the thread but not answer my questions?

                          You do not need to discuss in great detail as my questions are simple and straightforward.

                          Sorry for your ignorance elektro

                          Be sorry for being dishonest to yourself. If you could think up of any answers, you wouldn't be having a time problem. You only had to type your thoughts/answers. You have time to discuss, you just don't have the answers.

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                          • F Offline
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                            Fahad1
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #313

                            Maria,

                            If all women really were free to choose which husband she wanted to get married to this wouldn't been an issue for argues.

                            1. Yes, women should be free to choose. I wasn't arguing forced marriage or rape. They are one and the same.

                            2. Women have more men to choose from in a polygynous society where married men, who would otherwise be off-limits, are also available. Don't you think?

                            I mean which sweet 16 girl would ever marry an 70 year old Hugh Hefner look alike, who only would think of sex?

                            1. Why does the girl always have to be a sweet 16 year old girl and the man a sex crazed 70 year old? What about the numbers in between? What if the age difference is not so big?

                            2. What does this 16 year old girl and 70 year old man argument prove anything about/against polygyny? The 70 year old could be a monogynous man as well. So this argument is really not relevant.

                            The answer is NO.

                            But you just said she should be free to choose. So why are you choosing the answer for her?

                            Therefore i don't believe in marriage without love connected to it, so called arranged marriage is doomed to fail after a time.

                            If you are confusing arranged marriage with "forced marriage", they are not the same.

                            Off-topic, but IMHO a marriage has a better chance of succeeding if it starts at minimum love from where it can grow than at maximum.

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                              anna
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #314

                              salam fahad
                              really i cant see how they are not understandng what you are trying to say, but i agree with you

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                                liquiddharma
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #315

                                Maria,

                                1. Yes, women should be free to choose. I wasn't arguing forced marriage or rape. They are one and the same.

                                2. Women have more men to choose from in a polygynous society where married men, who would otherwise be off-limits, are also available. Don't you think?

                                No, because if she has to share a man, she's only getting half a man, and the existing wife loses half a man. Neither of them have a real husband.

                                At the same time, somewhere a man with no wife is deprived of his one true love angel

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                                  FAR
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #316

                                  No, because if she has to share a man, she's only getting half a man, and the existing wife loses half a man. Neither of them have a real husband.

                                  At the same time, somewhere a man with no wife is deprived of his one true love angel

                                  Let me know of a woman that wants man 24/7.

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                                    SwedenMajidah
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #317

                                    Maria,

                                    1. Yes, women should be free to choose. I wasn't arguing forced marriage or rape. They are one and the same.

                                    2. Women have more men to choose from in a polygynous society where married men, who would otherwise be off-limits, are also available. Don't you think?

                                    3. Why does the girl always have to be a sweet 16 year old girl and the man a sex crazed 70 year old? What about the numbers in between? What if the age difference is not so big?

                                    4. What does this 16 year old girl and 70 year old man argument prove anything about/against polygyny? The 70 year old could be a monogynous man as well. So this argument is really not relevant.

                                    But you just said she should be free to choose. So why are you choosing the answer for her?

                                    If you are confusing arranged marriage with "forced marriage", they are not the same.

                                    Off-topic, but IMHO a marriage has a better chance of succeeding if it starts at minimum love from where it can grow than at maximum.

                                    Peace,

                                    Ok, I agree that I have been off topic, sorry for that.

                                    My earlier post showed only my opinion about women and their right to choose whom to married.

                                    And sharing a man with other women, no thanks, not sexually.
                                    I think more deseases would be spread if have many sexpartners at same time, because married couples don't use condomes.

                                    I am against polygyny and I cannot see that Quran advice for this custom.

                                    Maria

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                                      liquiddharma
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #318

                                      Let me know of a woman that wants man 24/7.

                                      Of course they do. This doesn't mean they don't want any alone time. But they want their husband to be contributing to the family unit 24/7. Either earning money for her and her children, or looking after the children when she is working. Never does the wife benefit from the husband banging other women, having to split his energy and money with anther woman, reducing the inheritance of her children.

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                                        SwedenMajidah
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #319

                                        Of course they do. This doesn't mean they don't want any alone time. But they want their husband to be contributing to the family unit 24/7. Either earning money for her and her children, or looking after the children when she is working. Never does the wife benefit from the husband banging other women, having to split his energy and money with anther woman, reducing the inheritance of her children.

                                        Peace,

                                        Very well said )

                                        Maria

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                                          afridi220
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #320

                                          Quote from Fahad
                                          No one is forcing those women to get married. If they do not think it is worth it, they wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Plus, the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world, will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means.

                                          Yeah, greedy men taking care of multiple women, providing them with family and children! Those women would have been better off prostituting themselves, right? Isn't that what you want?

                                          Again i will ask you to do some research leave your living room and check for yourself those men who have multiple wives whether he is treating all his wives equally or he just care for the last one and others are left on their own and frustrated.

                                          And have you checked whether they have married that man willfully or they are forced to marry him.

                                          You said no one is forcing those women to get married .

                                          Yes and if they marry someone on their free well then they are condemn to death,

                                          Just see here if you have a human heart two days back what happened just right under your nose
                                          http//www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2008\11\07\story_7-11-2008_pg7_15

                                          http//www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-16112467.html

                                          I know you will say this has nothing to do with your question because you are brought up in a society who considers women as sex object they are tortured and killed if they ask for their rights.

                                          Am I wrong that the big number of women left unmarried in a monogamous world will be more frustrated because they will have no sexual satisfaction at all, except through unlawful means?

                                          Am I wrong that every woman has a right to have a husband and children?

                                          Tell me.

                                          Oh so would you please tell us that those women who are left unmarried in your kingdom due to shortage of men or the curse of dowry which you brought with you when you converted from Hinduism.
                                          And by the way you are paying the dowry or ajar or the girl if she is poor she has to remain unmarried forever and pushed to prostitution.

                                          Please remove the dust of men superiority complex from your eyes and treat them like humans.
                                          peace

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