i want to stop wearing the head-scarf/hijab, need support!
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aiysha to clarify....if wearing a hijab is no big deal to me although I don't believe God tells a woman to cover her hair, ears, neck AND husband is not supportive of removing my headscarf, i would just keep wearing it. Not really worth straining the marriage. change is not easy and takes time. Now, if I don't care to wear a headscarf but husband is not supportive that's when the resentment starts - like in my aunts situation. And also in my situation. I made it clear before getting married my views on hadiths which are not integral part of my belief system and where I stood on the headscarf sharing my experiences. Also, currently work in a community where there are white supremist sporting swastika tattoo. I was especially resentful as I already made myself clear before marriage but I think he thought he could change me. If I loved him, I will wear a headscarf! Now, I could not make husband happy at the expense of sacrificing my values/beliefs/comfort/happiness. the hijab as defined by men (headscarf) became a hijab as defined by God (barrier) in our marriage. He wanted me to meet with imam. (a prominent member of the mosque already said that people like me are followers of satan). what difference would it make to meet with imam. When he made it clear that if we have children (thank God we don't), he wanted his daughter to wear hijab starting at age 10 years and the children be raised as 'sunni' muslims and I am not to have any influence on the children teaching them otherwise and when he pulled the 'obey your husband per koran' card - well, sadly the marriage is over and in the process of divorce. divorce is by far one of the most painful of human experiences but what are my alternative? so, we have added to the divorce statistics in this country. i was reading an article on divorce amongst muslims in america, and religious incompatibility when it comes to hijab was one of the reasons. we had other reasons also which marriage counseling could help but marriage counseling is not going to change my belief and certainly not his either. i feel sad.
i am currently looking into the hadiths that specifically state that a woman should cover her hair, ears, neck. unlike what followers of hadiths say, i spent a lot of time reading about wudu - the hadiths are not clear. i haven't found clear instructions on how to pray either.
by the way, my husband who is arabic speaking (and I am not) said that khimar covers the head, arms, etc. if that were the case, then why would God tell a woman to cover her chest with a khimar. It is like saying cover your toes with your shoes. i did a phonetic search on khimar in the koran and didn't find any where else in the koran where khimar is used. is there another definition of khimar in arabic besides the scholar's?
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Salam & welcome, hanifa peace
it gives me alot of opportunity for du'a-i get on the bus, all dressed, and get to tell at least 2-3 people about "my Islam" every time i ride the bus!
i would not go out without my full dress for a ton of money-you know why? i can make a statement about what i believe, and what is important to me without saying a single word!
For me, faith is a private matter, I don't want to advertise it to everyone, be they Muslim or non-Muslim. I have been living in a country where people wear their religion like a badge and even complete strangers will ask you which faith you belong to. I hate this, and I feel it breeds hypocrisy.
I do wear a headscarf occasionally, for example after going to the gym and having a shower, since I don't like blow-drying my hair. Or when going to the desert, a windy beach, or a very conservative part of town. But I wear it tied in the back, I can't stand anything covering my neck. I'd never wear an amira hijab for that reason, and also because that particular style would just not be me, I would feel silly and odd.
i am currently looking into the hadiths that specifically state that a woman should cover her hair, ears, neck. unlike what followers of hadiths say, i spent a lot of time reading about wudu - the hadiths are not clear. i haven't found clear instructions on how to pray either.
The hadith most often used in order to claim that women must cover their ears, neck etc. is the one about Asma and the prophet supposedly pointing at her and saying this and that is what a woman needs to cover once she reaches puberty. That hadith is classified as weak even by traditional scholars. In fact, the Salafis use the weakness of this hadith as a proof that women are not allowed to show their faces.
Hadeeth about women uncovering their faces
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Dear Princess,
As you have seen that how was I bashed by feminists by just advising you to, take Quran as your Guide rather than these Ultra Moderen women who have nothing Islamic in their advice, they are very familiar to the most of social welfare ladies, dressed up in Thousands of worth cloths and wearing millions worth diamonds talking about the Misery and poverty of the Women in Pakistan, India and Bangaldesh at chilled airconditioned Halls of Five- stars hotels.
Actually you had already decided what to do, and to satisfy your inner you asked support of others, so the ladies who do the same thing can comfort you and can give releive of the fight going on between You and You.today the veil or Hijab has come to represent the ultimate symbol of backwardness and oppression, thanks to westren Media and some of our Moderen Muslim sisters, who think that there freedom starts from taking off the Hijaab.
This image for Muslim women around the world was laid in the by European colonialists, who became obsessed with freeing the 'Other' woman in order to subvert and destroy the indigenous cultures over which they ruled; and they tried to teach us that the only true model of emancipation was the western model of feminism.
Since Aysiha keeps on bringing the Ayat from Quran, and even though it is clealrly mentioned in the ayat the importance to observe Parda, again asks where is it in the Quran to observe Parda./Hijaab?And I come to realize what Allah means by saying, They won't listen, they won't hear..
And it is realy amazing from some one who knows nothing about Hadith, to give lecture on it, Offcourse it is hard to let any body change what he believes in, but it is a continuing process, once I was in the camp of those who think DEEN is a personal matter between them and Allah, and they are free to do whatever they want, what ever seems fit to them, Sorry that was most miserable time of my life I spent, I realize today, If I have to follow a deen I have to follow some principals, and some Laws, laid down in Quran, the other choice is Just to say bye bye to Allah, and that is easy, to hang in between is NO GOOD.
Before I post my final words let me show you what Quran says about this subject according to my understanding.. -
As you have seen that how was I bashed by feminists by just advising you to, take Quran as your Guide rather than these Ultra Moderen women who have nothing Islamic in their advice
It's a common misconception that feminism and Islam are mutually exclusive. Fact is, they are not, whatever you and other people who have a very distorted image of both chose to believe.
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hello & peace everyone!!
I DID IT!!!!! bravo yesterday was the first time i went out without the hair cover!! yay
maybe it was too soon or too suddenly, but somehow once a decision comes in my mind, i feel have to follow it to be true to myself.
bravo Well done! -
Peace everyone
I recommend these two articles
The hijab controversy
http//www.forpeoplewhothink.org/Topics/Hijab-Controversy.htmlMuslim women and tradition
http//forpeoplewhothink.org/Topics/Women_and_Tradition.html -
Well I have just found a stunner!
Ali
Ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) said,"1 came to the Prophet accompanied with Fatimah but We noticed him weeping vehemently. I said,
"I sacrifice you with my father and mother, Messenger of Allah. Why do you weep?" He said, "0 Ali, in the
night Journey (Isra) when I was taken up to the sky, I saw some women of my nation suffering some types
of torture. Therefore, I wept because of their sever tortures. I saw a woman who was hanging from her hair
and her brain was boiling. Another Woman was hanging from her tongue and a boiling fluid was being
poured into her mouth. Another woman whose legs were tied to her breasts and her hands to her forehead
and another who was hanging from her breasts. Another whose head was like a pig's and body like a
donkey and suffered million types of torture, and another woman who had the shape of a dog while the fire
pierced her month until it left her body from the anus and the angels were also Scourging her with lashes of
fire. Upon hearing that, Fatimah asked. O darling and the pleasure of my eyes, what were they doing to
Suffer such torture? Then the Prophet said; O daughter, as for the woman who was hanged from hair, she
would not cover her hair from men. The woman who was hanged from her tongue used to bring harm to
her husband; the one who was hanged from her breasts cumulated her husband's bed. The woman whose
legs were tied to her breasts and hands to forehead and suffering from serpents and scorpions would not
clean her body from major impurity or menstruation, and neglected prayer. The woman whose head was
like a pig's and had a donkey?s body was a talebearer and lair. As for the last one, she used to remind
recipients of her charity to them and was envious. O daughter, woe to her who disobeys her husband.?The English translator of the book says the follwing regarding the hadith quoted above "Not found"
Not found because its rubbish and clearly contradicts Quran and Muhammed.
o o
From a hadith forum and some guy wanting to find hadith to prove to cover the hair. Best bit is in all the replies they say the VERSE about covering the head/hair is enough and not one has mentioned that verse actually says to cover the breast!! o
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It's like Dante's Inferno Muslim style. I've heard it before, not sure where it comes from. Very popular amongst the "pious" women to use against other women, and/or the men to scare women into submission. What does cumulated the bed even mean? She gathered the bed together?
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It's like Dante's Inferno Muslim style. I've heard it before, not sure where it comes from. Very popular amongst the "pious" women to use against other women, and/or the men to scare women into submission. What does cumulated the bed even mean? She gathered the bed together?
I wondered what thet meant too ;D
Makes you see how these fabricated tales (baseless hadith) have come into Islamic 'tradition' though, just like was done before and to try to 'put women in their place' according to man. What baffles me is how the hell can anyone who reads Quran, I mean READS it and THINKS about if, FOR THEMSELVES, can possibly believe such obvious BS which totally contrdicts Quran. ???
Of course that leads to 'you dont understand the verses' or 'you dont understand Arabic' )
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It's like Dante's Inferno Muslim style.
Yup. ;D
I've heard it before, not sure where it comes from. Very popular amongst the "pious" women to use against other women, and/or the men to scare women into submission.
I feel deeply sorry for people who actually believe such BS.
There are many more like that out there
http//www.readislamicbooks.com/47-a-wifes-rebellion-against-her-husband.html
http//www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/2006
http//www.rasoulallah.net/v2/document.aspx?lang=en&doc=1389
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Ayisha
did you post it somewhere else, or is this, according to your understanding, what Quran says about the scarf? ie. Nothing!
hahaha.. very funny...
Let us start from following verses of Quran..
O prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the wives of the believers that they shall lengthen their garments. Thus, they will be recognized and avoid being insulted. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.I seldom bring in Hadith or History stuff for the supporting my arguments as it irritates many over here, but as some are doing it without any know how of the subject, let me point out some (Offcourse it is not necessary to understand or even read these commentaries if you can get guidance from Quran),
Some even point out that these verses for that time and situation only, one of the most pathetic excuses.
In this verse Jilbab is a large sheet and idna' is to draw close and wrap up, but when this word is used with the associating particle ala, it gives the meaning of letting something down from above. Some modern translators, under the influence of the West, have translated this word "to wrap up" so as to avoid somehow the Command about covering of the face. But if Allah had meant what these gentlemen want to construe, He would have said yudnina ilai-hinna and not yudnina alai-hinna. Anyone who knows Arabic knows that yudnina 'alai-hinna cannot merely mean "wrapping up. " Moreover, the words min jalabib-i hinna also do not permit of this meaning. It is obvious that the preposition min here signifies a part of the sheet, and also that wrapping up is done by means of a whole sheet and not merely by a part of it. The verse, therefore, clearly means The women should wrap themselves up well in their sheets, and should draw and let down a part of the sheet in front of the face.
Maluana Madudi, we may disagree with what he says but then we have to provide any counter arguments, I think WAKAS
has the ability and knowldge for that.
This same meaning was understood by the major commentators who lived close to the time of the Holy Prophet. Ibn Jarir and Ibn al-Mundhir Ibn 'Abbas also has made almost the same commentary.
Later commentators such as Imam Ibn Jarir Tabari, 'Allama Abu Bakr al-Jassas, 'Allama Zamakhshari and Imam Razi all agree with the above, and One can not figure out why Ibn Kathir's tafsir is given prefrance over others in some specific meaning of the Arabic word? -
Now relate this verse with the above
Quran
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts, for that is purer for them. God is fully aware of what you do.
And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed.*
Cover is already there and now it should be drawn over the chest. It is very important to know what or how one thinks of the "Beauty"? What is necessary and not is yet another debate to be considered.
If we study in depth why these verses of this Surah were revealed we find out that coming of these verses
immediately after the Divine appraisal of the incident of the "slander" clearly indicates that permeation of a calumny against the noble person of a wife of the Holy Prophet in the society, was the direct result of the existence of a sexually charged atmosphere, and in the sight of Allah there was no other way of cleansing society of the evil than of prohibiting free entry into other people's houses, discouraging free mixing of the sexes together, forbidding women to appear in their make up before the other men, excepting a small circle of close relatives, banning prostitution, exhorting men and women not , to remain unmarried for long, and arranging marriages even of the slaves and slave-girls. In other words, the movement of the women without purdah and the presence of a large number of unmarried persons in society were, in the knowledge of Allah, the real causes that imperceptibly give rise to sensuality in society. It was this sexually charged atmosphere which kept the ears, eyes, tongues and hearts of the people ever ready to get involved in any real or fictitious scandal. Allah in His wisdom did not regard any other measure more suitable and effective than these Commandments to eradicate this evil; otherwise He would have enjoined some other advice. -
Dear Princess,
As you have seen that how was I bashed by feminists by just advising you to, take Quran as your Guide rather than these Ultra Moderen women who have nothing Islamic in their advice, they are very familiar to the most of social welfare ladies, dressed up in Thousands of worth cloths and wearing millions worth diamonds talking about the Misery and poverty of the Women in Pakistan, India and Bangaldesh at chilled airconditioned Halls of Five- stars hotels.
I'm actually in a 3-bed terrace and wearing my pyjamas if that makes any difference. I really don't see how believing in women's rights and being against Hijab makes you some sort of materialist. I really don't see how these things even relate. There is everything Islamic about encouraging someone to strip themselves of the man made commands that are enforced upon them. There is everything Islamic about going against the cultural conventions to do what is right.
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Mixing of sexes no problem laugh
Ibn Umar said that during the times of Rasulullah (S) men and women used to do Wudhu together." (Bukhari published by Madina Publishing Company, Karachi, 1982, Printer Hamid & Co, vol 1, pg 169 Kitabil Wudhu. The translator is ?Maulana? Abdul Hakim Khan Shahjahan Puri)
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In my own preference I would not even consider marrying a girl who wears the headscarf. Hair is just too important to me, yes you may think Im shallow, but for me hairstyle reflects a huge amount of a female's personality (the part that I'm interested in at least)
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Sirius
I'm actually in a 3-bed terrace and wearing my pyjamas if that makes any difference. I really don't see how believing in women's rights and being against Hijab makes you some sort of materialist. I really don't see how these things even relate. There is everything Islamic about encouraging someone to strip themselves of the man made commands that are enforced upon them. There is everything Islamic about going against the cultural conventions to do what is right.
i respect your story which you posted but
are you serious? were you not able to get the relation ship with the both? Both know nothing of the subject they are talking about? how come a lady who has never been to squatter can make speach and even try to weep during the speech for poors and womens rights?
I am just rying to tell the lady that her asking of support from bunch of Ultra Moderen Ladies, for what she has already decided, is not the correct thing, If she would have not involved Quran and Islam in it I would have not even bothered, but they are trying to make fun out of Allah's clear commandments regarding the subjcet and I being ordered by Allah as each and every Muslim has been feel my duty to point out the verses, to decide is her's issue.
Sorry NO Support for any thing against Quran... that is if you are a Muslim, otherwise its fine.There is nothing Islamic in stripping
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Nafi
In my own preference I would not even consider marrying a girl who wears the headscarf. Hair is just too important to me, yes you may think Im shallow, but for me hairstyle reflects a huge amount of a female's personality (the part that I'm interested in at least)
Nice, clear cut, No mention of ISlam, Quran, Muslim just staright forward... that is it, this what I am trying to point out, if you dont want to wear Hijab, if you want to be nude in front of your family, whatever, feel free but please donot use the name of Islam.. Simple.
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Some modern translators, under the influence of the West, have translated this word "to wrap up" so as to avoid somehow the Command about covering of the face.
Wow, this is getting better all the time. Now you are trying to tell us God wants women to cover their faces? ;D
I being ordered by Allah as each and every Muslim has been feel my duty to point out the verses, to decide is her's issue.
I think you can safely assume that every woman participating in this thread is already familiar with the verses you were referring to. So you've done your duty and can leave the rest to us.