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  4. Wife Beatgin

Wife Beatgin

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  • N Offline
    N Offline
    NoProgressive
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    As Salaam Alaikum,

    I need to know if it is really allowed to beat your wife in Islam? I have read the article on free-minds.org but I am afraid that maybe it is not detailed enough.

    Does anyone have any other articles of refeerence? Anythign?

    salaam

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    • U Offline
      U Offline
      unknownuser
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Peace

      this is a tough question indeed, while I will not provide enough info as I'm still researching it

      it seems the Quran allows husband to beat their ILL CONDUCT wives according to 434

      "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance) For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

      (34)

      Some scholars suggested it should be light beating, but I see nothing in the verse that suggest light nor strong just beating.

      However the important note that can not be ignored, is NOT ANY WIFE SHOULD BE BEATEN ACCORDING TO 434, RATHER THE ONE WHO WILL BE INVOLVED IN ILL CONDUCT

      Defining ILL CONDUCTS from a wife is very important before prejudice the verse message, there are zillions of examples for an ILL CONDUCT FROM A WOMAN

      but it is also obvious from the verse that beating is the third option after exhausting the first two which are

      1. Advice her kindly but if she refuses and I want to still keep her "imagine that I still love her and have kids with her", then

      2. Stop sleeing with her as a sign of anger of her insistance on the ill conduct, and if she insist and I still want to keep her because I love her and I want the good for her "i.e. she should not be involved in any ill conduct that she also has to give account to Allah", then

      3. Beat her conditioned with Ill coonduct from the wife as well if she return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance), see the blue section in the verse

      However for me as a husband I waved that right and I don't think My Lord will punish me for waving that right, because I can't beat an animal yet beat a human, this is just my nature

      if my wife is invloved in ill conducts, i have only one option, which is to advice her kindly, if she insists on her ill conducts then the highway and she will be replaced with a better wife who maybe fearing Allah

      PS Allah obviously excluded the righteous women who were described as devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard, from the ones who insist on ill conduct, please see the underline words in the verse.

      Peace

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      • K Offline
        K Offline
        Komla
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        My salaam,Allah knows us more than we know ourselves,Therefore He gave us steps to take before arriving to that situation(beating one`s wife),He knows that in patience we will loose our anger,so therefore if you do follow those steps a real believer will never touch his wife,so therefore it is not recommended to beat your wife in my humble oppinion.http//www.submission.org/women/beating.html

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        • U Offline
          U Offline
          unknownuser
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Peace be upon you,

          The word being translated as "beat" means to seperate. The last measure is seperation, not beating.

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          • U Offline
            U Offline
            unknownuser
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Peace be upon you,
            The word being translated as "beat" means to seperate. The last measure is seperation, not beating.

            Can you we have an objective translation of this word. Is it BEAT OR SEPARATE? and if so why have scholars for the past 1400 years, including impartial oriental scholars have translated it as BEAT? could it be that all these scholars including the oriental ones were all mysoginistic?

            Regards,

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            • Z Offline
              Z Offline
              zenje
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              http//www.free-minds.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=51638

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              • U Offline
                U Offline
                unknownuser
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Peace be upon you Lote Tree,

                Can you we have an objective translation of this word. Is it BEAT OR SEPARATE? and if so why have scholars for the past 1400 years, including impartial oriental scholars have translated it as BEAT? could it be that all these scholars including the oriental ones were all mysoginistic?

                They were all influenced by poor meditation on he subject. Did Musa STRIKE the water or did he SEPERATE the waters?

                How does one BEAT a similitude? A similitude is an event seperated from the whole to be used as a lesson.

                Take a LOOK at the occurences.

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                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Jaxal
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  SaLaM

                  I believe its the seperation of the husband from his wife.

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                  • U Offline
                    U Offline
                    unknownuser
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    SaLaM

                    I believe its the seperation of the husband from his wife.

                    Peace

                    but don't you think the seperation is already stated as option 2 by not sleeping with her?

                    peace

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                    • J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Jaxal
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      SaLaM Ahmend

                      I mean not just desertion in bed. But a complete seperation.

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                      • U Offline
                        U Offline
                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        SaLaM Ahmend

                        I mean not just desertion in bed. But a complete seperation.

                        Thanks bro, but I believe deserting in bed should also be understaood as a complete desertion

                        i mean who is the wife that will see her husband desrting her sexually and will continue to have a normal life with him in any other aspect but sex?

                        you see bro I do understand it as deserting completely but I was just explaining the literal arabic words

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                        • S Offline
                          S Offline
                          sawtooth
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Is the wife allowed to cut off the man sexually? Seperate from him?

                          I know alot of women that do that to their men, and in most cases the men deserve. I don't know very many men that can out last a women when it comes to "going without"

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                          • T Offline
                            T Offline
                            TheNabi
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Peace

                            I do not agree with Ahmed. He says it should be deserting completely but one should think if that is so why the need for the last rule?

                            Joe

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                            • U Offline
                              U Offline
                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Execue me Joe

                              I did not say IT SHOULD BE

                              can you read my comment again

                              Peace to you

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                              • T Offline
                                T Offline
                                TheNabi
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Peace

                                I don't know very many men that can out last a women when it comes to "going without"

                                Well I think this is another form of misconstrued judgement for males.

                                Men are told they should be sexual machines, wanting to have sex all the time and should be able to meet the standard.

                                Men are not necessarily such just as a woman should not necessarily be skinny as a toothpick with a C cup.

                                Joe

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                                • T Offline
                                  T Offline
                                  TheNabi
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Peace Ahmed

                                  I did not say IT SHOULD BE

                                  can you read my comment again

                                  Yes I can, can you?

                                  I believe deserting in bed should also be understaood as a complete desertion

                                  Joe

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                                  • U Offline
                                    U Offline
                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Peace Ahmed

                                    I did not say IT SHOULD BE

                                    can you read my comment again

                                    Yes I can, can you?

                                    I believe deserting in bed should also be understaood as a complete desertion

                                    Joe

                                    LOL

                                    thanks Joe

                                    ok I said I believe

                                    if I said it should be without I believe then you are right

                                    any way bro thanks for that it was a cool catch , so your reponse should be you disagree with my belief

                                    just kiddin bro lol

                                    Peace

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                                    • T Offline
                                      T Offline
                                      TheNabi
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Peace Ahmed

                                      My response was my dissagreement with your belief. I did not say what you wrote was fact either. I just said that I do not agree with Ahmed regarding what he wrote.

                                      Joe

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                                      • U Offline
                                        U Offline
                                        unknownuser
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Peace Ahmed

                                        My response was my dissagreement with your belief. I did not say what you wrote was fact either. I just said that I do not agree with Ahmed regarding what he wrote.

                                        Joe

                                        Peace Joe

                                        ok at least you agree with some?

                                        anyway my response regarding full desretion was only to support Jaxal understanding because it made sense to me and I provided a simple logic to explain it, however if you read my first comment you will see that I have only one option in my book to deal with a non god fearing wife, which is the highway, no beating no insults no desertion and she can have half of my money as well, there are heaps of God fearing women out there

                                        peace Joe

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                                        • T Offline
                                          T Offline
                                          Tahira
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          How come no one has mentioned that only a good and righteous muslim man would have this right to hit his wife lightly not one who probably sleeps around with half the town himself.

                                          Then again iv'e seen women who can be so mouthy and spoilt that they keep provoking till the poor man can take no more and has to hit her to shut her up. Believe me when i mean provoking i mean PROVOKING. They will pick a issue and keep at it for days and days on end.

                                          I could give a few examples but would rather not.

                                          I think people keep forgetting that this was one of the reasons divorce was allowed , that when your partner becomes unbearable to live with for whatever reason instead of becoming a monster yourself just walk away.

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