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  4. Wife Beatgin

Wife Beatgin

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  • T Offline
    T Offline
    Tahira
    wrote on last edited by
    #41

    I have one i just read in the paper. called Killer Cabbie.
    32 yr old cab driver (Zubair Khan) married a girl from Pakistan and then later started having family problems. He wanted a divorce so his wife moved out and went to live in London. Zubair decides to go down to London on July 20th and have sex with his wife then decides to stab her 20 times with a 6 inch blade in the throat and neck and infront of his kids ( you guessed right Zubair is from Bradford). He then packs his kids into his car drives back to Bradford( which is about 4-5 hour drive,just incase you don't live live in the uk and want to know) and left his kids with relatives. Then he decides to go back to london and finish off his brother in law( who always sided with his sister,Zubairs wife). This time he used a gun.

    I hope the sicko rots in jail for the rest of his life.

    As for those of you who think women can't take on their husbands, we are talking about just some. In the uk women have the advantage of always being belived so the poor husbands don't talk about it. I know quite a lot boys who have come from pakistan and been abused by their wives and family members. They are too ashamed to tell their parents back home or friends or the authority, some can't speak any english so they don't go to the police others don't want to get sent back pakistan so just try to put up with it.
    If a man hits a woman just once it is seen as abuse yet women can verbally abuse men for years till they feel completely worthless and end up mentally drained and powerless and thats ok wink and thats not to add the tantrums, miserable faces, telling people lies about him , insulting him infront of strangers and then depriving him of sex too.

    Oh and some women here do hit their men and the men are too scared to even defend themselves incase the women get hurt during the process and then no one believe them(the men).

    Just one question if you same a man and woman walking together and the woman had a huge bruise on her face what would you think?

    Naturally that her husband is a monster not thinking that for all we know her 2 year old could have hit her with a toy or she could have slipped and fell in the bath tub. Yet if the man had a bruise we wouldn't even notice.

    Pm my husband works as a taxi driver and he tells me 9 out of 10 times its always the women that hit their husbands or boyfriends and in the back of his car too, because of his job he is not allowed to interfere with this kind of behavior.

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    • E Offline
      E Offline
      Elena
      wrote on last edited by
      #42

      Peace

      I need to know if it is really allowed to beat your wife in Islam?

      there are two things, to know if it is ok to beat the wife and to know if Islam allows to beat the wife.
      There is no need of any book/revelation to know that it is never ok and if Islam would allow it wouldn't make it ok either.
      The doubt is the problem, there shouldn't exist the slightest doubt.

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      • T Offline
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        TheNabi
        wrote on last edited by
        #43

        Peace

        My opinion is that abuse in any form should be avoided and not put on others.

        Joe

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        • M Offline
          M Offline
          mquran
          wrote on last edited by
          #44

          Salaamun alaikum,

          Elena There is no need of any book/revelation to know that it is never ok and

          Herein lies an important question.

          If 'there is no need of any book/revelation to know that it is never ok' ('never ok' ? - what if the lady was beating the man up to the point of killing him? should he roll over and die?) , how do we know it

          if Islam would allow it wouldn't make it ok either.

          So why does Al-islaam allow it if it's not 'ok' ?

          Can you believe in al-islaam (i.e. believe in Allah and His book) without believing that what 'al-islaam' allows is 'ok' ?

          What is 'ok' ?

          What determines 'okness' ?

          I researched into 'idribuhunna' and found it to mean 'seperate them' due to etymology and context. However, if I found it to be 'beat them', what should I have done?

          The doubt is the problem, there shouldn't exist the slightest doubt.

          I have no doubt in al-quraan but a severe doubt about where your 'ok' comes from, no offense.

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          • F Offline
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            Fahad1
            wrote on last edited by
            #45

            salam.
            does the word daraba mean a single strike ?

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            • M Offline
              M Offline
              mquran
              wrote on last edited by
              #46

              Ws Saladin,

              I take 'daraba' to mean 'he imparted' because Allah uses this 'basic form' in 'daraba Allahu mathalan' - Allah imparted an example.

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              • F Offline
                F Offline
                Fahad1
                wrote on last edited by
                #47

                Ws Saladin,

                I take 'daraba' to mean 'he imparted' because Allah uses this 'basic form' in 'daraba Allahu mathalan' - Allah imparted an example.

                other verses use teh same word to mean "beat/strike" ?

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                • T Offline
                  T Offline
                  TheNabi
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #48

                  Peace

                  The root d-r-b is used in these ayatin.

                  1317/1425/1674/6610 - Setting forth/cite/yadrib, a parable/amthal

                  435 - Take away/adrib

                  3793 - striking/darban , Abraham does so to the idols

                  2077/2663 - Splitting/idrib, Moses splitting the sea

                  2431 - drawing over/striking/yadrib, coverings and the feet

                  There are others, but it does not necessarily imply beating a thing.

                  Joe

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                  • T Offline
                    T Offline
                    TheNabi
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #49

                    Peace Saladin

                    In ayat 3156/4101 it, darab, is in reference to traveling.

                    Joe

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                    • U Offline
                      U Offline
                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #50

                      Peace Saladin

                      In ayat 3156/4101 it, darab, is in reference to traveling.

                      Joe

                      Peace Joe

                      true but that is a case of a word with two differeent meaning, very common in any language,

                      so the context will control the meaning of that word

                      Da Ra Ba = to beat or to tarvel

                      in the verse of ill conduct women, it can't mean make them travel, it will be a joke

                      in the verse of travelling, it can't mean to beat the earth, rathar to travel in the earth

                      on the story of Al Baqara sura 2, Allah told the jews to Beat "Idrabo" the Cow with the body of the dead so they know the killer, again to travel can't be the meaning within the context but to beat is a perfect meaning within the context of that story

                      The common word for Beating in arabic is "Darb"

                      the Common word for Travelling in arabic is "Safar" or "Higrah"

                      the allowed Darb "beating" can only be resorted to by a 100% righteous husband who adhers to the Quran on every detailed bit as well only applys on wives who insist on ill conduct

                      peace be with you

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                      • M Offline
                        M Offline
                        marie
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #51

                        Peace,

                        You may be interested by this thread

                        434

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                        • U Offline
                          U Offline
                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #52

                          Peace,

                          You may be interested by this thread

                          434

                          Peace Marie

                          thanks for the info, very interesting indeed and I tend to start believing what you suggested except I could not read the french comments, it makes great sense

                          thanks for the possibilty of another flaw fixing

                          peace

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                          • F Offline
                            F Offline
                            Fahad1
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #53

                            true but that is a case of a word with two differeent meaning, very common in any language,

                            so the context will control the meaning of that word

                            Da Ra Ba = to beat or to tarvel

                            in the verse of ill conduct women, it can't mean make them travel, it will be a joke

                            in the verse of travelling, it can't mean to beat the earth, rathar to travel in the earth

                            on the story of Al Baqara sura 2, Allah told the jews to Beat "Idrabo" the Cow with the body of the dead so they know the killer, again to travel can't be the meaning within the context but to beat is a perfect meaning within the context of that story

                            right . the meaning of a word should be decided with keeping the context in mind , and not only by comparing with its occurances in other verses .

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                            • U Offline
                              U Offline
                              unknownuser
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #54

                              true but that is a case of a word with two differeent meaning, very common in any language,

                              so the context will control the meaning of that word

                              Da Ra Ba = to beat or to tarvel

                              in the verse of ill conduct women, it can't mean make them travel, it will be a joke

                              in the verse of travelling, it can't mean to beat the earth, rathar to travel in the earth

                              on the story of Al Baqara sura 2, Allah told the jews to Beat "Idrabo" the Cow with the body of the dead so they know the killer, again to travel can't be the meaning within the context but to beat is a perfect meaning within the context of that story

                              right . the meaning of a word should be decided with keeping the context in mind , and not only by comparing with its occurances in other verses .

                              I agree man, but the problem here is my nature refuses beating any human,

                              I found the argument of using the word "Gald" to express beating is very strong man,

                              in any case, I never cared about the section of beating the wife in the verse as I will never do that, she will just face the highway

                              Allah knows best bro, but again the context appearing in that verse most likely means beating an ill conduct wife if the Final cermony of the prophet is true, but we just can't use the human words to qualify Allah words

                              a big delimma indeed

                              peace be with you

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                              • F Offline
                                F Offline
                                Fahad1
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #55

                                I agree man, but the problem here is my nature refuses beating any human,

                                I found the argument of using the word "Gald" to express beating is very strong man,

                                in any case, I never cared about the section of beating the wife in the verse as I will never do that, she will just face the highway

                                Allah knows best bro, but again the context appearing in that verse most likely means beating an ill conduct wife if the Final cermony of the prophet is true, but we just can't use the human words to qualify Allah words

                                a big delimma indeed

                                peace be with you

                                salam.
                                i m not saying whether daraba means beat/strike or whatever . i m not sure about that . i will have to look further into those verses .
                                i was only saying that while deciding the meaning of a word , the context should be kept in mind . there is a practice of deciding the meaning of any word by equating and linking verses in which that word occurs , without keeping the context in mind . i dont agree with this practice .

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                                • U Offline
                                  U Offline
                                  unknownuser
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #56

                                  salam.
                                  i m not saying whether daraba means beat/strike or whatever . i m not sure about that . i will have to look further into those verses .

                                  Peace bro

                                  I was just looking mate, wow 60 examples of the word Daraba in all with totally different meanings, a lot of studies is required for sure

                                  i was only saying that while deciding the meaning of a word , the context should be kept in mind .

                                  yep and I agree with that 100%, but what puzzles me is there is no context for that verse other than A WIFE WHO INSISTS ON ILL CONDUCTS, and the problem for me that beating that wife to bring her to the right path maybe something good for her so I can acceot beating as an option for the righteous husband to impose on an ill conducted wife, maybe beating will make wake up and fear Allah ans stop her ill conducts, and that is the closest context I can get, however Allah knows best and we don;t know for sure

                                  there is a practice of deciding the meaning of any word by equating and linking verses in which that word occurs , without keeping the context in mind . i dont agree with this practice .

                                  oh man, what a delimma, indeed that practice is very common, but what you say is also making great sense

                                  i say, possible somewhere in between? I don't know man it is my heart who is controlling my understanding and I believe it is the case with everyone, i'm no unique here

                                  peace be with you

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                                  • F Offline
                                    F Offline
                                    Fahad1
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #57

                                    Peace

                                    The root d-r-b is used in these ayatin.

                                    1317/1425/1674/6610 - Setting forth/cite/yadrib, a parable/amthal

                                    435 - Take away/adrib

                                    3793 - striking/darban , Abraham does so to the idols

                                    2077/2663 - Splitting/idrib, Moses splitting the sea

                                    2431 - drawing over/striking/yadrib, coverings and the feet

                                    There are others, but it does not necessarily imply beating a thing.

                                    Joe

                                    salam Joe.
                                    thanks for the list . i will look into them .

                                    what about the verse that says angels will strike/beat the faces of the disbelievers ?

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                                    • T Offline
                                      T Offline
                                      TheNabi
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #58

                                      Peace

                                      what about the verse that says angels will strike/beat the faces of the disbelievers ?

                                      Yes it is said in ayat 850/4727 that the malaika will do such. In 812 it is used in referrence to cutting off apendages.

                                      If you feel that God allows for one to abuse their wives in exchange for the mental abuse they may put on their husbands than that's cool. It's all up to you .

                                      Joe

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                                      • F Offline
                                        F Offline
                                        Fahad1
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #59

                                        If you feel that God allows for one to abuse their wives in exchange for the mental abuse they may put on their husbands than that's cool. It's all up to you .

                                        salam.

                                        if i FEEL ?! should it matter what we feel ? what if the Quran tells us the opposite of what we feel ?

                                        i m trying to know the meaning of that verse . we dont have to change the meaning of the verse to suit or feelings . we have to do the opposite .

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                                        • T Offline
                                          T Offline
                                          TheNabi
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #60

                                          Peace

                                          if i FEEL ?! should it matter what we feel ? what if the Quran tells us the opposite of what we feel ?

                                          Yes, if YOU feel. Is that not clear enough to you?

                                          If the reading tells us the opposite of what we feel than our interpretation is wrong. If you feel you are not supposed to beat your wife based on your studies but the reading says, yes, this is rule number 3 than your feeling is wrong.

                                          Clear enough for you?

                                          i m trying to KNOW the meaning of that verse .

                                          No kidding man.

                                          we dont have to change the meaning of the verse to suit or feelings . we have to do the opposite .

                                          Then that would mean your interpretation is correct.

                                          Joe

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