As someone said respect in general has to be earned. It does NOT depend solely on a blood relation, and you can't agree with one person saying this (Bender) and another saying the complete opposite. The Quran right there pointed out under what circumstance you should treat your mother/father in a good manner, i.e. if she breast-feeds, takes care of you and so forth. Dave Peltzer (if you read where I mentioned him in the opening post) obviously has no obligation to even like his mother.
It also mentions that you should reject them if they're idol-worshippers, which practice-wise my mother is, but just continue to treat them nicely (which I do). It also doesn't mention anywhere how that relationship should change considering she gave consent and paid to get me genitally and sexually mutilated, losing around 70% of bodily pleasure when considering the amount of neural and vascular damage, i.e. paying and giving consent to let that which Satan promised to do, which is to get people to alter God's creation. I'm almost positive God then in this case wouldn't even give a rat's ass if I'm "amicable" to her or not.
Carlee, I am sorry to hear about your mother sanctioning F.G.M. on you. Unfortunately, there are certain cultural attitudes and practices which are sometimes so ingrained within our communities, people, internally, cannot objectively view the abhorrence of such things. We can only hope to be patient with our parents if not to try and change their attitudes. But before you can think about having any sort of relationship with your mother or with anyone else, you should heal yourself. It seems like you have had some traumatic experiences in life, especially involving your mother, but to be able to live a fruitful life, a worthwhile life, first you need to be happy from within.
Practically, it seems you have also sought advice from a specialist medical practitioner. I don't know whether it's something which you have tried already, but I would suggest counselling/ therapy. I would also try to get in touch with a support group for women affected by F.G.M. Perhaps talking to other women who have been subjected to this horrific torture may help.
Feel free to PM me.
Salaam.
