Salam keno,
If you are indeed hearing a divine voice it should be telling you to do more charity work, be kinds to people (even those that anger or hurt you), care for the orphan kids around you, stand up to modern day injustices induced by capitalism, corporate slavery, forsake idols such as money, give up human desires for material things. If the voice is telling you to jump off a roof it is not God. God WANTS us to LIVE and SERVE Him by doing the things mentioned. That way when we meet Him we will have a lifetime of deeds to show Him.
Thanks!
I don't give that period of my life much thought anymore, it has been over 4 years now. Whats kind of funny is that there was no voice commanding me to do anything when I was standing on top of the roof. It was purely my own conviction that the things I had been doing up to that point where "right". When I was standing there I thought to myself "What am I doing up here?!" and then I felt an urge to jump and convinced myself that when I jump I would be catched by angels. When I was in the air I understood, I just understood. Boom! Blackness...nothingness and suddenly light and clear sight. No pain, just a paramedic asking me my name and my date of birth. Then drowsiness and blurred vision. I was convinced that I was on my way to hell, but 8 months later I was back on my feet. What sometimes worries me, and makes me lose scope of both myself and Gods word is that I think that I had my one chance, and now I just live in order to accumulate sin, but as I write that it just sounds delusional. And I may be delusional sometimes, but as stated in the OP, God has led me to draw this conclusion about our doctrine and I am slowly learning. I can become very impatient with both myself and God from time to time, but I try to keep a cool head.
God willing I will try to stay active on this forum to both aid myself and others. Next Wednesday I'm going with my brother (who does not believe in God, or at least that is what he says) to a place where people with mental problems, injuries and those willing to learn and reflect upon what life can actually be like for some, meet and make food, play games, participate in activities etc etc God willing I will find some solace there and be an inspiration for others in the same sphere of life that I am in.
Peace brother.
Keno
