Parenting & Children

Thank you Stani. She does seem to be doing a lot at her own pace. I want her to go to a normal school but which has a special needs teacher so that she can fit in easily but hopefully I am not pushing her.

Peace Boo merang, I'm in Australia and going solo with the parenting too. Have you considered public schooling? There are options if you prefer not to have your child included in the religious education program, be it Islam or Christianity. I made the mistake of putting my two kids in the Islamic studies program. I don't remember exactly what my daughter told me one day after school but it was enough to pull them out of that class. Now they just have free classes during religious study period. On Saturdays, I send them to a local mosque to study arabic. They also teach the kids to memorize simple verses but I make them realize that there is no use in memorizing it if they don't know the meaning. As Sarah mentioned, kids can be taught to appreciate God's infinite bounties simply by praising Him at the dinner table, asking God for protection before embarking on a trip somewhere, on seeing God's beautiful creation we can say Praise be to God or Alhamdullilah etc...Personally, i think it's best that my kids socialize with other kids that are God conscious rather than ones who aren't. Whether or not God opens their hearts to see the truth when they're old enough to understand the concepts of faith, is beyond me. I can only try my best as a parent to teach them the truth that I know of. Good luck Boomerang.....where in Australia do you live?

hopelessness is kufr.... and you seem to be exactly that... hopeless at the time. fair enough... as misscarriages can be devastating. i had one after having a healthy baby the first time. all you can do is pray.... even MORE and from the heart. all is not lost. try to relax and not think about when would you be conceiving or would it be ok or not?? let you mind be at ease and occupy yourself with something constructive. they say its healthy to wait ATLEAST six months after a misscarriage before you try conceiving again. so wait and see how it goes. prayers... This topic is less about miscarriage than other issues....... But I wasn't sure where to put it! If it should be rerouted somewhere else please let me know. I have recently had my second miscarriage. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now, and I have had 2 miscarriages in that time. No children yet. Of course I am incredibly crushed. This second loss came the first day of traditional Ramadhan this year and as such has shaken my faith. I find it harder to want to pray and certainly reluctant to participate in Ramadhan- I am a bit angry you could say. When I explained this to my husband he asked if I could go to the masjid and talk to someone about it. I wanted to laugh, but he was being sincere so I didn't. I haven't been a part of the muslim community for 2 years now. I don't follow traditional Islam, and am much more at home here on Free-Minds( I rarely participate- but my Masters thesis was on the very things found on this site). I also married a non-muslim man. We tried to have someone do a Islamic Marriage for us- he very much wanted one- but we were turned down. I have since left the local community and practice on my own. But it is times like these when having a supportive community would be great. I have for the first time in my 8 years as a Muslimah, begun to question Islam. It is terribly disturbing. And I have no one to talk to about my issues with this. I don't really have a question. Just needed to get it out....

Wow, I venture off the boards I usually read and I find this. I guess you learn something new each day.

Peace, Respectfully. I like it, it is wonderful, it's very educational. Great lesson to be extracted from it. God bless you, brother. Peace.

Nerspi~ i have a dear friend in the Czech Republic who has such a situation as yours. his father... is basically a terrible person. there is no way to put it gently. i suggest my friend to allow himself to be angry, to have his own life, and to strive to do better than his father has done, and to put his father behind him, so that he can move on and have a good life away from his shadow. you are you own person, Nerspi, and if for the sake of a better life for yourself right now you need to put some distance between yourself and your father, i think that is fine. if a parent acts foolishly or cruelly, we are told to turn from them, and towards God.

Peace, Yes it's true about the dates but the problem can be that the midwife and also the doctor can forbid you to eat before the labour in case of an emergency caesarean. Maybe you can drink datejuice because they allow you to drink so that can be an option. Maria

Setting example for the kid is the most important thing a parent should do. This comes from personal experience. When I was little my father used to give countless good advices which he did not practice himself. As a result, me and my sister paid little attention to what came out of his mouth.

Remember also we all have "God" (the side that tells us to do good things) inside us. It's just a matter of following 'God', if you know what I mean.

Peace all I don't want to make any personal suggestions, but if it was me, I'd try to spread the truth to your siblings and your parents and then from then on it is between them and God. If your siblings seem uninterested, perhaps wait till they are older. And remember these verses When they are told, "Follow what GOD has revealed herein," they say, "We follow only what we found our parents doing." What if their parents did not understand, and were not guided? When they are told, "Come to what GOD has revealed, and to the messenger," they say, "What we found our parents doing is sufficient for us." What if their parents knew nothing, and were not guided? And this passage is very interesting (770 is the disbelievers talking) They said, "Did you come to make us worship GOD alone, and abandon what our parents used to worship? We challenge you to bring the doom you threaten us with, if you are truthful." He said, "You have incurred condemnation and wrath from your Lord. Do you argue with me in defense of innovations you have fabricated - you and your parents - which were never authorized by GOD? Therefore, wait and I will wait along with you." I hope this helps. May the best come to you and your family and may God guide us all. Peace

OK thats enough bickering lets go back to the topic

Kahlil Gibran. He is a legend.

Peace, Well that sounds good! Better late than never so to speak. Sis Majidah

Salam. We should treat our parents with extreme respect and with much love because when they're gone, it's usually like this"Oh, i wish i could ...." You know? Peace.

aslm! handshake confusing questions. i think the teacher wanted to have a laugh,like i did! asking little kids whats science! what can u possible put,i cant even answer that completely!!!!!!!!!!!!!! brickwall handshake

Peace to you all, Zenji, you are right about putting trust in God. Thanks for those verses to reflect on. Peace, shirley

Salaam Unfortunately the kind of society we live in teaches girls the most important thing in their life is boys. The lifestyle you want your daughter to adopt is not shown in the general media - even in the middleast. So you have to do the hard work and present your lifestyle to your kids in an appealling way to them. The need to see (not hear) the benefits clearly otherwise you just end up sounding fake. You need to think about your relationship with your husband. What does your daughter think of that. Is that something she would want for herself? If you don't want your daughter to have boyfriends then what alternative are you offering. How will she find her partner? What does your daughter think of you? about how you live, and the choices you've made. In the end whatever your daughter does you have to continue with your unconditional love for her because that is something people outisde won't give her and she'll come back to you for that even in her fourties. Don't underestimate the power of a mother's love. peace.

SaLaM I created a poll regarding this topic. It can be found HERE. In my opinion, drinking alcohol is not allowed, but its use for medicinal purposes are allowed. That is why God says They ask you about intoxicants and gambling. Say "In them is great harm, and a benefit for mankind; but their harm is greater than their benefit." And they ask you how much are they to give, say "The excess." It is thus that God clarifies for you the revelations that you may think. There is a GREAT HARM but also A benefit.

I thought Yahya was a fanatical Islamist? Regards, No, HY wasn't a fanatical Islamist. I believe Saladin said on another thread that some of HY's writing is agreeable. I've studied them closely in the last few years and to be fair, I agree with their position on many things, including their opposition to Taliban-style syariah states and terrorism. Of course I still disagree with their creationism and matter-as-illusionism. In fact, from a cursory reading of the books in that link from Saladin, most are just natural-theology-for-kids types, quite harmless. Only one or two contains evolution-bashing.

I have published two books on rites of passage. Both sre based on my Master degre thesis. "The Theology of Minister Malcolm X An African American Male erite of Passage." The second is "Rites of PassageTheory and Practice." I am now researching and asking for help in developing a Quran based rites of passage. We should alll be working diligently to develop a booklet to help us deliver our youth to ALLAH and the Truth (Quran), and away from the mistruths, oppression, distortions and peer pressures. Muslim youth face and must deal effectively with the same issues as non-muslim children who must transition from child to adult.