Peace someoneouthere,
I know this is an old thread. I apologize as I am new to this forum. If you are still on this forum and follow the threads, then I hope you get to read my post as well.
I went through something similar 10 years back. My mother became my worst enemy. She hated me. I hated her. Though it was mutual, it was so very painful. My hatred blinded me. I was actually a Sunni at that time. The mention of the word "Muslim" could put her into a fit. I just didn't know how to deal with it, and so all we did was fight. My mother told all of my relatives that I had gone mad and she advertised my conversion to them, while they benefited from our drama as it was entertaining for them. I was very young and financially dependent on my parents and had nowhere to go. The one thing she never did though she never told my father. I think he would have killed me for sure. Thank God for this. You have a father who appears more open-minded? You are truly blessed in this regard. I didn't have anyone.
So, how did I get by in this household? I learned to bite my tongue and let things go. I ignored her or just pitied her when she became very angry. I made sure that I did not pray in front of her, I hid my fasting somehow, and kept my social life private. I would also advise that you wear the hijab if it makes her happy. Perhaps, she'll leave you alone. Once you become completely independent, then you can do what you want. After you experience some distance from her, she may come around.
My mother eventually came around. We talk at least once a week now. She agrees that monotheism makes more sense, yet she continues with her rituals and practices as it's become habitual and she's quite content in it. My dad is being kept in the dark, and I think he would prefer it that way anyway. One thing I miss? I can no longer hug and kiss my mother with ease. When I was younger, I would shower her with love. Now, it has become very awkward and painful. It's like we both died for awhile, and now we've been resurrected as strangers in some aspects.
Keep up with your conversations with God and know that He can bring change to any circumstance. I have a relationship with my mother (though, it isn't perfect) today, and I never thought I would have one.
