Peace Maryah,
I would suggest the following
Approach God directly.
This can be done by just sitting down in privacy and praise and thank God for all things in your life. Ask God to show you the truth, increase you in understanding and remove your fear and blindness. This is what I do. You need to get into a praising, happy mood when asking and thanking God. Don't think about doing it the correct way. Let go of the fear and just thank, praise and ask God for insight, wisdom and righteousness. Forget all about what religious authority is saying. They'll just bring fear into your mind, and fear will only paralyze, limit and shut you down. God's way is increase, growth, abundance, goodness, generosity, joy, compassion.... not fear. The evil forces will definitely try to thwart all steps towards purification and ascension. It's up to you to choose God and ignore fear. We become fearful when we don't understand who and what we are and when we don't understand God's greatness. Fear comes when we resist our natural inclination towards goodness. Fear comes when we focus on small, petty issues and details, totally losing scope of the bigger picture. Don't listen to the negative and confused human beings claiming to be religious authority.. they will just confuse you. Go straight to God. Ask God directly! Your heart knows how to do it!
Set your direction on God and goodness. Ask God to guide you and start listening to your heart... not your fearful mind!
Peace and best wishes!
sun
Thank you ! It was good advice . You are right. I should think differently . Peace to you too !